What should I do in this situation?

I was texting a guy (an old crush) after a few months of no contact. He’s apparently single (friend found out for me) and I want to see if we would have a chance to date now.

Quick backstory- We used to like each other 2 years ago but we both ended up dating other people, so we had to deal with the awkwardness between us. I was taken whenever he was single, but now we’re both single.

So I texted him and this was the convo:

Me: Hola
Him: Hello! (Weird, he never uses exclamation marks)
Me: What’s up? Its been long
Him: I know! I’m bored as hell, wanna FaceTime?
Me: Nah I’m good, I’m currently watching a movie with someone rn. Any suggestions?
Him: Oh nice.

(He didn’t even give me the suggestions I asked him).

Why didn’t he give me any movie suggestions? It seems like after I said that, he completely lost interest in the conversation. But I didn’t reply.

So my two questions are:

1. Do you think he might’ve assumed I was with a guy watching movies (“Netflix and chill”)?
2. Should I try texting him again, or should I not text him unless he does first?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dang you killed your own momentum haha.

    You took the text conversation from wing about you two catching up, to you watching a movie with someone else... meaning split attention. Guy or girl doesn’t even matter.

    1. He’s probably like if she’s with someone else right now, why bother texting me?
    2. He might’ve not understood your approach. I’m watching “A” movie with someone any suggestions...
    -you didn’t say watching movies (plural) any suggestions on what next
    - he might’ve thought you meant any suggestions on what to do with the person you’re hanging with. If that makes sense?

    Most guys would leave it up to you, to continue the conversation. Since he said “he’s bored” and you ask him to help you on your situation, instead of you helping him with his boredom lol.

    Anyway, yes I would text him first! No need to worry about last conversation. Just start anew and if you can “FaceTime” would be helpful lol. But just keep topics on you two... catch up.

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    • Thanks! I actually re-worded the convo. I literally said “We’re trying to watch a movie here. Any suggestions?”

      Oh god but I’m so nervous lol. I texted first last time, I’m not really used to being the initiator.

      Do you think I’d look desperate if I did?

    • Aw man, mate I feel yah! I know those worries. I never initiate because I feel like I’m bothering people lol.

      In this case since things were left with him only saying “oh nice”. I think you’ll be ok to text and not look desperate. He didn’t exactly leave you with much to go on or continue with, with only saying “oh nice” so I think he should be able to understand why you didn’t reply back at the time.

      It’s tough, girl I want I’ll prob have to initiate and it terrifies me 🤪... so good luck on your sitch :). Hope it works out :).

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What Guys Said 23

  • Yeah, you need to contact him again if you want to salvage anything.

    Let me translate your conversation:

    'Hola'
    "Hi"

    'Hello!'
    "Wow, it's great to hear from you. I wasn't expecting that."

    'What's up? It's been long'
    "That's right. I'm talking to you."

    'I know! I'm bored as hell, wanna FaceTime?'
    "I've missed you. I'd like to see your face."

    'Nah I'm good.'
    "No, I'm really not that interested in talking to you. I'm just texting you because no one else on my contacts list is responding."

    'I'm currently watching a movie with someone rn.'
    "I'm probably about to stop responding to you anyway because I have a guy over and we're going to watch a movie and probably make out."

    'Any suggestions?'
    "This guy won't tell me what movies he likes and I want to pick ones that he will enjoy so I can improve my odds. Hey, you're a guy. Will you give me some ideas?"

    'Oh nice.'
    "Oh, that's not really what I wanted to hear. Have fun. Bye."

    I think you should call him rather than text. That will show that you're talking to him out of more than just boredom. Maybe talk about the movie you watched with your girlfriend the other night. Later in the conversation pick a day you know you're going to be free and mention how bored you'll be on that day because you have nothing to do.

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    • Omg I really did screw up didn’t I! Thanks, I’ll definitely do that!

      BTW- my male friend irl told me to ask my old crush How he feels about me. Good or bad idea?

    • I wouldn't do that yet. Guys say that because they would love for all girls to make it that easy for them. It's an ego boost.

      Women are naturally better at looking at someone's actions and determining how that means that person feels. That's why the term "female intuition" is a thing. Some of them just need to learn how to turn the switch on and trust the results.

      I think your best course of action is to just put yourself out there and see how he responds. It's like feeding a stray cat. You put a bowl of food out and if he's hungry enough he'll find it.

      Being that direct should be your last resort. When you've been hinting and he's not responding and you think to yourself "This guy is just not getting it," that's when you need to be direct, because you're probably right. He's not getting it.

      I's a bit like releasing a captive bird into the wild and teaching him to fly with a slingshot. It gets him airborne, I guess, but you'd rather he just learned to fly by himself.

  • Wellby reading your story i found that you made a big mistake and he assumed that you were with a guy nut you haven't told him who it is. And also said he used to like you and you know the best part he still loves you cause he didn't reply it means he feels bad that you are also not single. So girl get up and text him right now ask about his relationship tell about your story. I believe you both will get together in just a second.

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    • thank you!

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    • And also told first ask about his relationship ask how he is going with his girlfriend let him tell any story you already know he is single then tell him that you are single tell what happened and why you get separate

  • 1) yes, he assumed you were just showing off (that you were with a guy and "watching a movie")

    2) yes, text him and try not to shit on him again: have a nice comeback like "My niece didn't appreciate that you had no movie suggestion but you can make it up to her by buying her a nice pink hair-brush. I'll help you pick one this evening/tomorrow/at some other point in time if you have some time to meet and catch-up at coffee".

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  • So you tell him Nah you're good and you want to date him?
    Why would he give you suggestions after you just shrug him off?
    Let me guess, you have an iPhone and so you think you're royalty, like all other generally worthless/talent-less (and hence highly constipated) women?
    Off course he lost interest - you sent him a clear signal you're not interested.
    You'd go give him oral, if you were a woman and interested, basically.

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  • What did u expect him and to. Do u just told him u where with one are you that selfish let me tell a ou some i dont get aerated. Very easy but i had this idiot around for awhile she is like you she be out with a guy and sind me pics of her pus and then tell me she was with someone what the hell goes threw ur head

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    • I wasn’t with a guy. I just said I was with someone, but she was a friend.

      And calm down

  • Be concervative, let the guy do it first and believe in god that he will give you the right guy in right place and right time. Dont try to find it in Gods perfect time he will come in an unexpected moment😉

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    • Troll?

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    • Which one though? Depending on where you live, if you can accept you are responsible for your own actions, etc dictates what religious beliefs are popular. Fucking religion! 😂 😂 Grow up!

    • Gentlemen I don’t want to get into the topic of god, rainbows and religions here pls 😂 I’m tired of religious debates. I’ve heard, read and dreamed about too many.

  • Here's an idea; ask him out on a date. No fucking about, dancing round the subject, wondering, waiting, etc. Just flat out, straight up ask him if he'd like to go out with you. Ultimately, you want to know the answer so just ask. You'll then get a yes/no and can go from there.

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  • You said someone. He already thinks you've got someone

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    • Shit 🤐

    • You really hadn't thought he would be jealous?
      Im am a dude and even i would think twice before saying that. And you know how unfiltered dudes mouths are

  • tell him that your in the mood to model lingere for him... live video and see if his mind changes... if it does stay away from him you can do better

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    • I’d like serious answers here smh

  • He must have assumed that you are watching movie with some other guy. I don't think he will text you so you should text him. Go on a walk or something with him. Tell him what you think about him. Ask him if he feels the same.

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  • Yeah, he assumed u were busy. So he wouldn't bother. Well not in this life.

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  • Probably when you stated you're watching a movie , he probably thought you had a guy around , now is probably thinking you're with another guy and won't bother

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  • I think he must have assumed that you were already with a guy... so just closed the chat!

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    • Did he know that you are single?

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    • Easier said than done. 😳

    • You could do something like..

      You: Hey
      Guy: Hi.. wassup?
      You: Just done consoling my friend i was watching Giberish with yesterday...
      She turned out to be a cry baby and still not over the death of character x in the movie!

      Something like that?

  • He thinks you will leave him like always. So he is not showing intrest. Try breaking that shell of him or try seeing another guy i guess.

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    • But I didn’t leave him. I was just taken. Different

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    • If a girl texted you first twice, would you think she’s desperate?

    • Nope. Coz when I know if she is with some one. I wouldn't even bother. I would just ignore her messages coz I don't wanna be problem between you and your partner in crime.

  • Love, he assumed you were with a guy. Most guys dont mope, we move on. So you can text him but I can't promise he'll text you back. Some you win...

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    • Yes, most guys move on. But he’s been lingering for 2 years. Last time we talked, he said he liked me but that he didn’t know I also liked him. But I was taken when he confessed sadly.

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    • It depends on how I feel about her, love. That and her general behaviour. If she is usually a needy girl I will get annoyed. If she is usually quiet and never initiates I'd feel flattered.

    • Then you get arseholes that leave you hanging just because they think they have you in their grip.

  • i think it's because you said " someone" like you let him wonder

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  • Try once more. Should have face timed him.

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  • Move on. Exes are exes for a reason

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    • He’s not an ex. We never dated

    • I didn't notice the rest of the message. He didn't suggest as you stated your watching a movie with someone.. a males mind take someone and translates this to "with a man". So he might have feelings for like you and doesn't want to help someone with getting what he might want. I've been in that spot before. If you would of said Stacey and I are going to watch a movie, any suggestions? Odds are you would of got that suggestion.

  • Sooo i think. you should something diffeent

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  • Fuck him

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