Is there such a thing as being too available to someone?

Just wondering if being to available is a turn off and unattractive?
Any suggestions on what to do so as to not appear to available besides making plans with friends etc?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it is. It sends the message to them that you are sacrificing doing your own hobbies, life etc to keep them happy. It also comes across like you don't have any other dating options and you are desperate to keep that one person in your life, like getting them is your sole purpose because you aren't quality enough to meet others. Meeting someone you are attracted to is nice, but in the early stages you don't know them that well yet, so they shouldn't occupy too much of your time.

    The solution is simple. Get busy. Have at least 2-3 people who you are interested in that you are texting and planning dates with in the early stages. That way you'll end each interaction on your terms to be able to have 'you time' and not seem like you want to text them all night long and drag out the conversation because you're also texting others.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • its not to not 'appear' too available, its about living life having interests goals etc. by default you would not be available all the time. but if someone likes you they like being able to be with you. if someone feels you're too available they are not interested in you just feeling like they had a challenge and conquered something by catching you midst a busy schedule or other suitors.

    so dont worry about them.

    a person you are interested in should be interested in you. if they are not thrilled they get to sped time with you in your free time- leave it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • I'd say it depends on what you get back from the people you're available to. It's cool if you run to them when they need help, if they'd do the same for you. In my experience though it tends to be a lot more one-sided than that, which is of course detrimental tot he person making the effort.

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  • Depends on the person. For some (mostly girls) being too available is unattractive. But for me, if I'm attracted to you then you can't be "too available" because I want you all the time. If I'm not attracted to you then it doesn't matter if you're available all the time or none of the time, I'm still not attracted to you.

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  • Lol i think this is the case. I think most humans like a challenge and if you print out how much you want the other person they begin to look at you as someone that will do all the work or they may just think 1 night stand and if they want they can be with you. People think weird

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  • Depends. You should try to balance everything out with friends and enjoy life and try to make your self happy first before others.

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  • Yes there is there's two types of people the ones that will chase you and the ones that will make you chase them and if you are chasing somebody who is also a chaser then you can be way too available for them to have an attraction to you

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  • Available is just being free to new relationships. Nobody knows that, unless you post your status at some social network. You should take care of your appearance to get a nice boyfriend.

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  • Just depends on the type of man. I for one like it. Sometimes though its good and ok to miss each other. Meaning not everyday but 3/4 days a week. Giving that person enough time to miss you, may bring them to wanting to be more available to you.

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  • I'd say It depends. If you are first starting out with a guy, then, yes, there is such thing as being too available. He wants to feel like he had done some work to "win" your heart. If you just throw it at him, he'll not be as satisfied. That being said, if you have already been through "the chase", the being there and available for the man you love is a great thing.

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  • I don't think it is one bit.
    The world is full of useless women who think they can play hard to get and solve their lack of any ability in life.
    If you are simply available, that's great!

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  • I think it is. When I liked someone I pushed myself to be there... it didn't make her miss me but when I disappeared for 2 years and came back I could tell her heart was racing

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  • To an extent being available is unfortunately not what someone looks in another person.

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  • What do you mean by “too available”? As if you look like you have no social life and never make plans?

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    • Chasing them, constant contact it might appear that way but in actual fact you are probably making them a priority when you shouldn’t be

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    • I think if the interaction feels forced then it’s time to take a step back

    • I would be the same.

  • It depends what both parties want. It's only a problem if one of them has different expectations.

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  • I think is a positive side, honestly I think if you really wish to meet someone you need to show your good will and it matters for you. This is true specially if you are grown up...

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  • Nothing it's a turn on If girl cancel for a guy n available guys would do anything for such a girl and protect her

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  • Yes, there is such thing as being too available for someone that i do believe.

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  • If it means you allow them to exploit you, not good

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  • There's a difference between being too available and down right slutty (No offence) you should not aim to be available but instead do the things you enjoy, people are attracted to those who seem to be very active, instead of looking for love rather aim to reach personal goals, plan a trip, learn a new language and opportunities will become available, many people worry about love and feel as though they are running out of time but if you worry all the time then how do you ever plan to move forward?

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  • Yes, there is

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can always lie politely. Just say you're busy and propose another day.

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  • yes and it can be found to be unattractive

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