After a successful date what is the longest you have waited to reach out?

The other night I had the best first date. So we matched on a dating app and happened to have mutual friends. On the app he would reach out and take around 24 hours before responding to me each time so it took around 3 days to set up a date even though he asked me on his initial message. He picked me up and we immediately clicked. We went to the bar to grab a drink and quite quickly he tells me at his age he is ready for something serious so he isn’t interested in casually dating. Then he starts hitting me with some tense questions. When was your last relationship? How long was it? How many relationships have you had and so on? He seemed pretty bothered that I the longest I have been single in the last year at any point is currently at 4 months. I explained when I leave a relationship it was dead before I don’t walk away until I know for sure there is no way it will work therefore I move on rather easily and I happen to meet people rather quickly. After my last relationship which was all crazy I needed a break to figure out what I truly am looking for and have only recently began dating again. We openly admitted how we both thought about canceling the date, but he kept saying he was so excited we didn’t. I play a lot of volleyball and he kept mentioning we need to play sometime. 3 1/2 hours later he takes me home. We talk another 30 min while being parked in the middle of the road. I get out and we end up making out in the road with cars going around us as we laugh because it feels like a movie. I invite him in and he politely turns me down and he reminds me he won’t be back from vacation for a week and a half. Says he is excited to see me when he gets back and that it is really hard for him to walk away from me. During the date he pulled his phone out once to set it down next to me while he went to the bathroom. So I didn’t hear from him yesterday. At what point do I assume he isn’t interested? Originally he said he would call me to set up the first date.
  • I would have texted the next day if I had an awesome time.
    Vote A
  • He seems pretty non dependent on his phone so I would give it a few days.
    Vote B
  • With him traveling I wouldn’t be worried until he got back from his trip.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Under normal circumstances I would make contact the next day. The travel could affect that though. Do you know when he was leaving? Traveling at this time of the year is challenging and he might have been going to visit family where he'll be busy most of the time with them, so I wouldn't worry too much. I'd still have found time for at least one brief text somewhere along the way, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign that he didn't. Everything else you described about what he said near the end of the night sounds encouraging.

    You could always initiate the contact - maybe tell him you enjoyed the date and hope his trip is going well and that you look forward to seeing him again when he gets back. You might be able to tell a lot from the kind of response you get, but again if he's with family for the holidays he's probably not going to be able to be as responsive as he normally would be.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have never texted someone after a date. If you are the type to not see anything wrong in that then give them at least a day and then reach out. I just don't recommend it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You know, I don't think you should ever assume anything because life happens, but the truth is that if things went really well, I would have texted you within 24 hours if for no other reason than to make it clear that I had a great time. I mean, you know he's traveling and what not so just see what happens. Still, I'm disappointed he didn't make the time to text you at the airport or what not because I know that I would have if things went as well as you say they did.

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  • Personally I don't play games and will call/text the next day. I think you've got nothing to worry about. Given that he's going out of town he might not think it super pertinent to contact you right away (again I probably would) but that doesn't mean he's not interested in you.

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    • I was thinking this especially because he was slow to communicate originally. Also, I meant to put 4 months is the longest I have been single in the last 8 years not year.

    • Okay I thought that seemed a little odd, but I don't think that big deal. It sounds like everything went good and ended well so i doubt it has any bearing.

  • Seems to me that he is really interested in you.
    Also he said he is really excited about seeing you again and that its hard for him to leave you like that.
    You dont say or do this when you are not interested and dont plan to set up another date.
    He could also just be tired from travelling where he went on vacation.
    Just reach out to him if he hasn't contacted you the second day.

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  • I always tell her to text me when she gets home so I know she is ok. or if I drive her home I wait till I get home and then text a casual goodnight text saying I enjoyed the date

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  • If I had a good time I would send a quike tx a couple hours later. letting her know i had a good time.

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  • A few hours. Ironically most good dates have texted me first

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  • I am mature person, and exactly like him regarding phone, I would have acted different before.

    Right now, I have other things more important to take care on my table and have options.

    If it was super good time, I will write to her within 24 hours, but if it was good, then I might not put that on priority. And may text her again to setup a date or so only.

    I would suggest you to write to him a message telling him you had good time etc. (a message which doesn require his reply) and he will reply within few hours to it. If you dont, its possible he forgets you

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  • I really don't see the point in waiting. I would strike when the iron is hot

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  • don't text or call him first. playing hard to get is good.
    and most guys hate clingy girls

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    • Playing hard to get can be good but mostly people do it the wrong way at the wrong time.
      In the case of the questionee it would be wrong/too soon to play hard to get since it will make her look like she hasn't enjoyed the date at all and isn't interested.

    • @Idontknow092 ... he is on vacation for a week... it's better to wait until he come back.

  • Hey! ilike took orchat

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would wait and see if you texts you within the next week. He seemed genuinely interested in you and he turned down the offer to come in which shows he's not interested in just sex. That's always good!

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  • Umm.. they usually texted the same evening.

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  • I would have texted the next day if I had an awesome time.

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