Guys, Need A Man's Advice. Is he still into his ex or being paranoid?

I was set up with my friends SO’s friend. We met late October. The issue is, upon finding out, my friend told me he likes about every other picture his ex has posted. My friend told me that they broke up in early October. I do know she broke up with him and tried to reconcile a week later, he said no. That he was happy & had moved on within that week they were broken up. That same night and following day he sent her about 6 or 7 messages. He was saying how her breaking up with him really messed with his head and how he wanted to stay but felt like he couldn't. Later told her he was struggling with the breakup and she said she was too. Also, they had also discussed marriage and kids.

It wasn’t until recently that my friend’s SO really spilled the beans about their breakup- none of which my friend knew prior to setting me up. My friend is under the impression that he tried to make her jealous (I don’t agree). He snapped a video of his food and then showed the girl he was on a date then posted it on social media. He did this was a few weeks after telling her that he was struggling.

She sent him a message saying she was hurt but loved him enough to be happy for him to be moving on. He replied with a “?”, and she said I’m referring to your new date. He told her how he loved her very much but they just had a lot of issues. Then sent her another message saying it’s not wise to give out information about what may or may not be going on his dating life. She said she wasn’t asking but wished him all the best. He then liked her picture a few days later and I was told he was looking at her social media. This happened in Nov. He liked a picture she posted a few weeks ago. My friend also told me now in Dec. he will do things like ignore her Snapchat but will look at her friend’s snaps.

Recently his mother was put into hospice. I was with him and he had his messages up and I saw he told her, “thanks for the card”. So apparently she sent him some sympathy card or something.
1. If he was still interested in her he would’ve said more than thanks for the card right?

2. Also, if he was interested he wouldn’t do things like ignore her Snapchat and look at her friend’s Snapchat, he would just look at it pretty frequently like he did last month right?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not sure I have all the players straight in this. Are you dating the guy that broke up a few weeks before you met him? And you're wondering whether he still might decide to go back to his ex and dump you?

    If that's the case, then that is one of the risks of getting involved with someone so soon after a breakup. I think most people need some time, especially if they aren't the one that initiated the breakup, to process what happened and get to a point where they are at peace with it. I don't think he had enough time to get through that process before you were introduced to him.

    Based on what you said, my guess is that he's probably not going to get back together with his ex. I think the answers to your two questions in the "updates" are probably yes, so that's why I think that relationship is probably over but he hasn't fully come to terms with that yet.

    My opinion is that what you probably need to do now is try not to get jealous of her, let him finish the grieving process for that relationship, but at the same time show him how awesome you are and work on building your relationship with him. I think getting into a great relationship is one of the fastest ways to get over a previous relationship.

    • Best answer, and much wisdom.

    • Show All
    • Part one---
      At the point you are referring to as for your boyfriend breaking up with his ex, he is in the acceptance stage of his relationship. It is not easy to deal with break ups, especially since social media is in the picture and everyone is posting and liking things.

      If you see your boyfriend struggling with letting go walk him through the process. As CallmeDave stated the only thing you can do instead of worrying is to reinsure him continuously that he is not alone.

      Constantly reminding him what you see in him. This isn't a time to be shy, scared or afraid, so him your love and feelings towards him. And thanks for the card was is a simple gesture that this person did something for you, not an act of love.

    • Part two ---
      He will grieve, and maybe even cry a few nights. But remind him who you are, and show him how much you love and support him and he will continue to see you for the wonderful person you are.

      "The only way wounds of the heart can heal, is if you bandaged them first."

      Take my experience and my wisdom and go with it.

      Had to break it into parts lol i wrote too much..

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