Making the first move on Tinder?

Guys u match with a girl on tinder but you don't write anything. U expect or feel attracted to a women that send the first message?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • To answer your question simply, yes I would be very enticed by a girl that sends the first message after we match. It shows they don't care for the societal norms and are that attracted to you to be courageous and make the first move. I will have a much better impression of a girl that sends the first message and will prioritize messaging her if she is just as attractive as the one I messaged first.

    Here are some stats on online dating as I've looked into the reasons I don't have any success on them...
    1) Guys have to message approximately 25 girls to get one response back on average.
    2) Girls have to message approximately 5 guys to get one response back on average.
    This is talking about one reply... not even a full conversation. A lot of these don't even develop into fullout conversations.

    As you can see from above online dating is highly advantageous for the female population as they get to choose and pick which ones they want to talk to at their leisure. This is what causes guys to not care too much about the amount of effort in their messages as it becomes highly repetitive. For many guys, the mission to find a girl through online dating becomes extremely daunting to the point where they just swipe and hope that one of their matches will eventually message them first in which case they will give them their undivided attention.

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    • Yeah, women should definitely make the first step more often, both in real life and online. It would be better for both genders, as men would feel less like "yet another one", so would put more effort, improving also the quality of the relationship/conversation.

    • Also, men should understand that girls swipe right little just because many men swipe right to everyone, so for women it's so easy to get a match that they get more selective; so they swipe less right and make less matches, so men have to swipe right a lot to get one, whereas girls only a little. In conclusion, men should as a whole be more selective, but no one seems to understand it.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Yes I do. I am looking for a woman that truly wants to date me. Unfortunately, women get on Tinder to ‘play’ and window shop. Not really looking for a date. While it seems younger women are more ok with making that first move, most women still won’t. That is a shame.

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  • In this age girls ha e treated better in the eyes of society, more equity if you will. It is common now for girls to be the ones to invite on a date or pay for dinner, even ask a guy out. I don't see why sending the first message would be a problem. Times have change.

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  • Most probably he wouldn't have seen your face while swiping because men tend to swipe every women right. After getting a match, you wouldn't have able to attract his attention so it would be a stupid idea to message him

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  • I always make the first move because women don’t. Not all women respond, and it’s very rare that I’ll click with a girl I eventually ask out.

    If I really want the woman to make the first move, I’ll use Bumble. Bumble in my opinion is the better one, because the girls there actually have to talk, otherwise it’s pretty pointless for her to have it. With Tinder there’s too much waiting for the first move from either side, even when the first move has been made.

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  • I don't use dating apps, so maybe those guys are different, but I would think a woman making a move is always a plus

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  • Women do not ever reply first on online dating apps. If they do, it's quite rare. We usually have to be the ones to make the leap first, otherwise nothing is said.

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  • Yes message first. Even if it's simple "hey :) " the guy will appreciate it. I mean communication is a two way street is it not.

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    • Most women think “hey” is a boring opener. I don’t see why, seeing as a huge deal of conversations start with “hello”

    • Yeah, I mean that's the main word everyone uses to greet and start conversation in real life. I don't know why they that. That actually would be a good question to ask on here.

  • I would prefer that the woman makes the first move for a change. In fact, I've gotten to the point that I refuse to make the first move simply out of protest.

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  • Everytime I get a match on tinder I have no idea what to say so I just say something like hey what's up. Then they either don't respond or say "nothing much just chillin" and I say cool. The end.

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  • No. I wouldn't assume any attractions. It's gonna get ugly if we got attracted. And expected. It's only gonna cause pain.

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