I’m very insecure, worried I’ll never find a guy?

I’m in college. I hook up with plenty of guys, yet none never want commitment. I’m worried it’s because I’m not hot, funny, or smart enough. Guys who do want me are dull. I fee inadequate and unlovable; my confidence was better in high school tbh. How do I get over this? Why do I hate myself so much. I don’t want to have sex because I’m worried of being used; I’m decent enough to get with, yet not enough to commit to. I feel so ugly.

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  • This is the dilemma. A lot of men think women have it easier because women can get sex easier but they fail to understand the dynamics between men and women. The differences in almost all facets of life are immense, especially when talking about sex. Men want to be able to get sex as easily as women but most can’t because the majority of women do not think or approach sex the way men do. Women want to have good passionate sex with someone they are into physically and emotionally. The thing is, women have a hard time finding someone that they can connect with emotionally. After a woman has hooked up with man after man, she ends up feelings used, burnt out, and hopeless that she’ll ever find someone she actually has an affinity for. That’s why I think the hookup culture is detrimental for women because it can lower a woman’s self esteem overtime.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Don't sleep with any guys until they show you they want you. Take you on dates. Kiss you in public. Let Mr. Right show you to his friends.

    Other than that, all I can say is.. He'll show up eventually. But if you sleep with every guy that says he loves you just to get in your pants, you'll just be used.

    And I know it's wrong to say, but you are and have been being used.

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  • It sounds like your expectations are too high for guys while your self-confidence is too low.

    Of course the guys you hook up with don't want to commit- they don't have to because they get sex without it and you're obviously attracted to the guys that don't want a relationship with you.

    Find a guy who respects you and is fun (or at least fun enough) to be around and you'll feel better about yourself. Don't go for a guy based on his looks, rather how he treats you.

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  • Stop hooking up. And actually go on a date and don't have sex till at least the third date.. It's not about age and it's not all about looks it's about availability if a guy knows your going to hook up with him. Then a commitment is probably the last thing on his. mind..

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  • Love yourself. Being in college will do a lot of things, including challenging your self esteem. Take it slow when it comes to this sort of thing. Depending on your environment also could dictate the men you have available.

    To address the confidence, do things that reinstall it. And also get out of your comfort zone. It will show you who you are.

    You hate yourself because you do not fully understand your own capabilities just yet. Dont worry about sex. You have a very sound reasoning about avoiding it. The right person, who cares about it as much as you will help you come out of that shell.

    Finally, with commitment. That simply the argument of Now vs Then.

    You're focused on the future. While a lot of the guys youve been with are focused on the moment, because they dont know the future.

    Keep this in mind as you're approached by the next guy.

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  • Yeah, or maybe it's because they know you hook up "with plenty" and don't want a serious relationship with you because of that.

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  • Your life doesn't need to recover around the opinion of others, and seeking love isn't bad, just don't treat it like a wild goose chase.

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  • U r not ugly.

    U r beautiful in your own way...
    Just wait... have patience...
    No rush
    You are still young

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  • Apparently the guys you hook up with find you too dull to actually date just as you find The guys who are interested in dating you as too dull.

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  • You hook with with plenty of guys?

    Yeah no one wants you now, tough shit

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  • Stop hooking up and get to know the “dull” guys. Jeez is this really the worst women have it

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  • If you keep hookmg up with guys then sooner or later they gonna think u as a disposable chick

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  • Hey... you gonna find one.. be positive. do not let yourself down

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  • First and foremost honey STOP. The first thing is no one will want to be with anyone who doesn't like themselves. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. I was overwheight and thoight i am ugly not amart not funny. I found out thats the energy I radiate. Everything changed when there was a dead in my family. I found out that life is short. Dont spend time with people who dont appreciate you. Find things you like doing. Experiment is the best advice i can give you to find your passions. Through your interests you will find a guy that will love and want to spend time with you more and more. Just try to find yourself again. Please dont give in to these feelings its not helping you.

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  • Because you sleep around.

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  • You will find a guy

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  • Then don't hook up with every guy that comes your way?

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  • Stop hooking up for starters...

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