What not to do on the first AND second dates?

Share your own list based on bad/good experiences.
Updates:
This question is obsolete and has been driven to the ground so many times. I'm sure there are limits to what you can/can't do on dates, but most of the answers haven't considered that somethings are forgivable and permissible depending on how they were executed.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • be authentic - the best first dates I've been on was with people either I've known for some time through common interest (incl. work, gym, church) or friends.
    I stopped going on dates from online dating apps because I found it to be artificial in the sense that they were less interested in trying to get along and creating a relationship vs. interviewing for specs (job, school, culture) and trying to sleep with me on the first few dates.
    Physical attraction and se* is great, but a few hours/days of knowing someone is not enough to be that intimate in my opinion (and only serves the purpose of pleasure)

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    • You are damn right! I was on a date with a guy but I didn't feel like kissing and stuff... and he almost forced me to kiss him and was so persistent, i had no space to move... it was so disgusting..

    • Being authentic and being on dating apps are not mutually exclusive things. Maybe your profile on the app could be improved to promote authentic encounters. We can't judge just based on that.

      Look at the profiles of most people: they're always trying to present themselves in the best possible light. Rarely do you see someone trying to strike a balance between their positive and negative personality traits. I would go so far as to say that it requires the profile owner to be well acquainted with their Carl Jung's interpretation of the "shadow". Giving your target audience juicy details about yourself in a compelling, brutally honest, and authentic way is challenging in itself because you have to put yourself under serious review - a process that rivals that of even real-life encounters with a potential life partner.

    • That's why I think guys (aggressively sexual animals, especially of the young age group) try to put two and two together when there's so much ambiguity with regards to a female profile owner. You can go the extra mile to be clear on your profile, perhaps in a creative, interesting, genuine, and human way to really drive your points home for your selected audience.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Going to the movies on a first date is THE WORST. It’s so awkward.. for me anyway. I wanna talk and get to know someone, not stare at a screen for two hours while sitting next to each other. Boringgg.

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    • Lol I agree, unless you're both movie buffs with plenty to say after the fact, it's not the best.

    • Well even then, I mean it’s great if you’ve been together a while of course! But for a FIRST date? Nahh not my thang

    • I'm with you.

  • Over think too much. Its too early to get heavy about things. First dates should be fun and light. Its about getting to know each other not marrying each other!

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    • Girls are very bad for doing this... over think everything. I know I did when I was younger. It took me a while to learn to live in the moment more.

    • But how is he getting too know you more if he doesn't see that you overthink (or used to) and have some issues with living in the moment in general?

  • Do get to know each other through conversation. Do find out what they want for their future, don’t dwell on your past. do keep it light. Don’t swap blood or urine samples.

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  • Don't talk about your exes. Nobody likes to hear their date talk bitter about their ex.

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  • Don’t talk about your past relationships, it’s a huge yikes

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    • Obviously, if I talk about it without a question being posed, it means I'm dwelling on the past. But if they ask and I answer within the limits of the question, I'm alright, right?

  • Just don’t tell her you wanna be her half life after the first date and don’t offer her gifts

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    • Very circumstantial.

      I met this girl for the first time when I overheard her asking for gum from her friends. None of them had any, so I offered and she thought that it was sweet that I did. [Fast forward to the first date...] I got her a pack of the same gum that she asked for days ago and slid it across the table like a money transaction. She laughed, and I could tell from her face that she loved the gesture.

      Nothing wrong with gifts on the first date if they're supposed to represent some sentimental value, if the guy can keep it light for the rest of the date. That's how I feel.

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    • Yeah i mean omg a friend of mine received a gift from a guy that isn’t even her boyfriend, he bought her a Mac lipstick and she took it (cuz she’s the one wanted him to buy it) i mean like wtf gold digger... oh and another friend of mine is crazy about boba milk-tea so she fell for the guy who bought her ten cups of Koi... that was hilarious actually lol

    • Some interplay between class and societal status is evident here. I don't think it's that simple. There are moments where gifts of this sort shouldn't be a problem. If I had to come up with a rough mathematical formula:

      (Sentimental Value (s) × Product Market Value (p)) ÷ Date Number (d) = Gift Permission Ratio (x)

      If x is less than 1, the gift should not be given. I might have messed that make believe formula up, but you get my point lol

  • Well I am a very attractive young girl. Sometimes I attract the wrong kind of people (used to attract).
    I feel like guys can’t control themselves around me and then we end up having sex after a meeting for a short while.
    Then they want to ghost me because “I was too easy” or whatever though they have about what just happened.
    So I get tempted and f*cked for free and I’m not even officially your girlfriend and that’s because of the guy!! And I am the slut?
    So yea my worst mistake on dates are having sex too soon.
    Really plan the date so that you can go home alone and sleep in your bed by yourself. Don’t allow men to use you. it sucked in the past. I am sick and tired of men. For now on it’s strictly business.
    I’m doing my own thing, I’m chasing the money, chasing the dreams, upgrade myself to be “BOSS LADY”. I’m tired of being heartbroken and having hopes.

    Good luck girl! I didn’t even make it to the second date. Anyways Merry Christmas 🎁🎄

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    • Self-obsession at the expense of your date is another no-no. Guys who are only looking to sleep with the girl will exploit her self-centered motivations and manipulate her into getting her into bed with them unless they're good people with a conscience, in which case the girl got off lucky.

      Conclusion: If you're in a stage of your life where you're still in the process of "finding yourself", dating isn't the best thing to be doing.

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    • Yea I’ve been manipulated and pushed into doing things that I didn’t want to do. Sexually because I was turned on.
      I was trying to resist and the tease was so intense my body end up not being able to resist. My body too over my mind 😂😂😂

    • *my body took over my mind.

  • What is wrong with her being spoiled?

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    • Depends on what you mean by 'spoiled'.

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    • Off you go, hole.

    • what's wrong with her being spoiled? She didn't do a damn thing for herself, had restaurant food all the time, and used her elderly parents like slaves. i would like to have a woman that can do things for herself. Just because i am capable of doing pretty much everything that a household would need, doesn't mean i should have to all the time. A proper relationship to me is one where both partners do things.

  • Burp

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  • Have a running nose the whole damn thing

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  • Impose, that's it

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  • Well, I've known wayyyy too many guys who wanna fuck on the first date. To most girl, thats a turn off, most of us think that should be saved for later once you develop a bond. Kiss after the first date (not toooo intense but also not too plain either) she should be left want more. Also this is obvious, but dont try to act "cool" or "manly", just be yourself and be genuine. Let yourself go and dont try too hard to act a certain image. Of course, be very polite and chivalrous, give sweet compliments, and treat her with a respect that shows you see her as an equal and as her own person. Also, girls MELT when guys act cute and\or super sweet. A little bit of masculinity is nice but don't try to go over the top by proving to her that "youre a man". I much perfer sweet gentlemen over manly brutes.

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    • Thanks for the feedback. You're under 18, so I can't delve into too much detail as to what guys are thinking on the first date. I'm sweet and gentlemanly at and away from the dinner date table.

  • I never have boyfriend :( ı m so ugly

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  • Do not:
    Dress like a slob
    Have bad breath
    Get too drunk/high
    Talk about things that make you mad
    Compare your date to others
    Be rude to anyone you encounter
    Bring up your emotional baggage
    Make raunchy sexual innuendo - be light with it if you’re flirting about
    Pull out a gun (it’s happened on a date I’ve been on)

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    • Some of these are very superficial, I think, and need not be applied in real life.

      I agree with you on the drunk/high part though.

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    • If you want to give it another shot, you're more than welcome. Approach the question as if it's open to interpretation. Thanks regardless.

    • Honestly, I think sports bars/Applebee’s type restaurants tank for dates. Too loud and busy with TVs and such. It’s hard to build starting intimacy in that environment.

  • DON’T:
    Talk too much. Let them get to talk too.
    Don’t lie... about anything.
    Don’t let her rake advantage of you.
    Do not take advantage of her.
    Don’t beg for sex.
    Don’t manipulate either.

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    • Thanks, but those are no brainers. And I'm sorry you've been with guys like that.

      I'm looking for more "subtle" things?

What Guys Said 2

  • Don't overly present your past or your future plans.

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    • I don't see why that would be issue. Could you please elaborate?

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    • You had a horseshoe up your ass on that one.

  • Whatever you do, DO NOT ask for her blood type.

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