Is it necessary to have things in common with someone who you want to date?

  • Yes very necessary
    Vote A
  • No not really. Opposites attract as they say.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're getting the "opposites attract" thing completely wrong.

    When they say opposites, they don't mean person A loves football while person B loves office jobs.

    They mean both person A and B love to play video games together, however person A is more tactile while person B is more aggressive. They mean character/personality traits. Of course you have to have things in common to relate to each other.

    Common interests and thought interest but opposite personality traits. This person is more held back, the other is more outward. This person is very decisive while the other is unsure.

    Traits that compliment each other like in math. Two angles that make up 180 degrees, complimentary angles. (funny metaphor, guess this is wear my education finally makes itself useful although odd topic for math).

    Imagine how boring it would be if you both were complete polar opposites, both mentally and physically?

    "Honey, let's watch some Horror flick together!"

    "Nahh, I'd rather go skydiving today." Now it's dinner time, one wants Burger King and the other wants Remington's. Down to having conversation about the past.

    "I was beaten up and abused as a child and no one wanted me."

    "I was showered with money, luxury and had 5 partners at one point."

    Extreme examples. Sure you might be curious at first how it's like on the other side, but if you can't relate at all with the other person, then your relationship dies because of difficulties due to lack of common ground. One is on level 50 while you're on 3. It's no longer fun at that point.

    I apologize if I misunderstood anything, but the question was "Is it necessary to have things in common" and then an option is "Opposites attract" which makes me think you mean a complete inverted humanbeing in comparison to yourself.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on what you mean by in common. Things like views, values, principals, faith, beliefs, morals, etc is extremely paramount to any successful relationship. For an example:

    1. Would you be okay being in a sexless relationship if that person doesn't believe in sex before marriage? Are you will to adapt and change for their sake and yours?

    2. What about concerning religions or faith? How closesly is their morals and beliefs relates to yours even if your not religious or believe in God or a god? Is this going to be a problem?

    3. Do you both have the same relationships goals, such as marriage and having children? Where do you believe children should be born in? Out of wedlock or in wedlock? This also portains to having sex. And what about marriage? Do any of you believe in marriage or dispise it? Do you want to marry, and if so when? You don't want to have a person who doesn't want to marry now or in at least 2 years but they maybe want to 5-10 years later. Who has time for that? Eventually you grow bitter because you want to get married, and your ready now. Nobody can tell you when your ready for marriage. Let them talk about themselves.

    4. Does your careers or job prespects effect your lifestyle or morals? Such as sobody is a prostitude, and you don't agree with it. Or somebody has a demanding job and it can or may take you away from personal time and being together as a family? Best to seriously think on those things.

    5. What about personal morals? Do you think it's okay to masturbate or which porn? What about lusting in general? Let alone lusting after other people to sexually fantasize? Such things truly damage relations regardless if your religious, believe in God or not.

    6. The same thing when it comes to politics. It can affect how you chose to view and treat other people. Including your relationships. You overall need to share similar values and morals. You don't want to be with a conservative if all your going to do is shame that person for having different beliefs as you. If you can't love and appreciate that persons differences, then all your going to do is make a bad relationship turned ugly and abusive.

    While I would list more, but having things in common simply depends on what is your defination. Hobbies and extracurrecular activites doesn't apply unless again, it corresponds to everything I've listed above. Besides your own convictions. Those who say yes, more and liely cannot appreciate their partners differences. As long as they

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    • can only speak for themselves and not other people. It's okay for them. Not everybody has the same needs. You have the right to respectfully decline any romantic pursuits that doesn't fit what you are looking for and need in a partner, as long as there aren't shallow and unrealistic.

      *likely

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • Now depends. personality trait things. In one category we talk about values. In the other we talking about being shy or skilled at something or what not. In the first one. No. Second Yes. Values should be similar. A humanist won't like a slaver. etc...

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  • Both really as having nothing in in common does not help with our relationship as there is nothing to talk about what interests you both but also having too much in common means it be the same stuff to talk about all the time so a bit of both

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  • I would say having core beliefs in common is needed, not things like favorite foods or whatever, but it is good to share similarities than to be at war with another

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  • Too much in common tends to be boring and make the relationship stale.
    Too little in common makes it too unstable to last.
    Balance in everything.

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  • Nothing in common means nothing to talk about, things in common means things to talk about and do together, makes life easier.

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  • The number one thing to have in common is that you both want to have sex with each other. Anything past that is negotiable.

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  • You want to have some things in common, but also have some things not in common. But as long as you can both respect each other's differences.

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  • I think its quite necessary and I don't believe in the common saying Opposites attract and if they do attract through differences, it definitely won't work out in the long run.

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  • You want things in common while having some differences as long as you are able to accept them in each other.

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  • not hobbies necessarily but hopefully you both have one thing in common, love for eachotherr

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  • Yes a few you don't want to date someone that is the complete opposite and have no things in common with you

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  • If we find common ground on a couple things I'm good

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  • A
    agree BUT
    these may not surface for awhile

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  • i would say so

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  • Opposites attract, but not too much

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  • No not necessarily

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  • if you want long term

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  • It makes things easier

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  • At times yes. X

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What Girls Said 7

  • At least one or two things. If there is nothing, it makes it harder to connect on any level.

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  • I went out with a Christian girl once and it was great! I mean... she broke up with me because of her faith and me being aetheist... But the spark was there ;)

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  • I think you should have the same values and morals but you can be interested in different things and have hobbies, makes it so much more fun!

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  • No , bc I like to learn new things. can't learn from someone who share the same common interests

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  • Values, lifestyle , and morals yes. Everything else-no.

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  • Yes couples get along better that way.

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  • Not really

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