Do cheaters always cheat? does the urge to cheat stay?

what would cause a man to cheat? I gave him everything he needed. physical, mental, and emotional attention. I always put him before myself so i’m really unsure on why he did it and every time I ask him he says “I don’t know why I did it” he didn’t do anything physical because I caught him early on but it was more emotional. seeing her every single day and hanging out almost all day (he always said he was with his guy friends), calling her 5+ times a day which I found out later on, giving her his clothes, buying her food, going to each other houses and meeting families, claiming her as his girlfriend, and complimenting her constantly. we were together for almost 3 years and he wants to keep trying but I’m not sure he promised me he would never do it again... but what if he does and it’s worse
(the girl knew we were together) we have mutual friends I just never talked to her

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everybody makes mistakes and not everyone stays unfaithful it's not a disease lol I think some people just crave the thrill of the chase... like a puppy with a new toy that it knows it's not supposed to have. you just have to ask your gut whether or not you can trust him again because without trust it's just a disaster waiting to happen. Dealing with Lies and unfaithfulness can do unimaginable things mentally. Personally it completely change how I see people. It gave me a permanent wall and trusting anyone seems impossible sometimes. It sounds like youve more than fulfilled your end of the relationship lol. People can change just remember trust is earned and always go with your guy... You'll be alright

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    • Sorry *gut not guy

    • it’s okay, I understood what you were trying to say lol but thank you, I’m still trying to get past the trust part because at this point I don’t trust him at all. it wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice and he knows that but he’s also been trying to work his way back up but he hasn’t shown me any actions on improvements, just words and I just can’t trust those. He lied to me for a while and he’s very secretive/closed off so that just adds to the distrust. I’m a very open person about everything so it’s just hard to cope with that. he has been trying to open up about things but not the big, important stuff that one should be honest about.

Most Helpful Girl

  • For some yes, and some no. I believe when someone cheats and if they're truly sorry and apologetic, makes effort to change these habits they can be changed. and they've learnt their lesson, vs others, cannot be satisfied no matter how good of a partner you are they are selfish. You can compare what you give him if he cheats on you. If you know you're a good partner then you aren't the issue. The thing is he actually lied to you about it, and didn't come clean, he had to realize his errors and be actually sorry if you are considering to stay with him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • There is multiple types of cheater. Some do it for sex and only sex, he likes the chase and the excitement and the feeling to get a new girl in his bed. Some are more emotional (your case) and he needs more than one woman even if he's satisfied in his heart and his pants, some can't be happy with the same girl every day. You can't say that someone who has bitten in the forbidden fruit won't do it again. It's something that you want to feel again

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  • First off, I would give you the same advice I would give a man: Don't get involved with someone who has a promiscuous past. Aside from being slightly better in bed there really is no upside. The past is a good indicator of the future. If someone doesn't think much of the sex act they are more inclined to cheat. If he makes a move on you too soon. GHOST HIM.

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  • Sometimes it depends on the person, the partner, the situation, etc. I can't say no cheater will be tempted to again, but it's also very possible someone may have cheated under poor circumstances, and that if they were to be in a content situation they would never consider it

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  • Not necessarily, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Some cheaters regret and change, some feel regret but can't fight the temptation, some feel regret but refuse to stop, and some don't feel regret at all.

    Cheating isn't as simple as A+B=C. It's betrayal, it's wrong, but it's not that.

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  • You are not going like my answer... because it's one you already know. YOU ARE TO EASY. A person will not cherish or find worth in anything that they doesn't have to work for. Think about it. If your parents gave you a car, you will not treat it as well as you would if you have to work hard and struggle to obtain it yourself. A great relationship based on respect and admiration for each other is forge by Sweat and Tears.

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    • Show All
    • Here's the reality of trying to get a cheater to respect you... you can't. Period. You can not make someone stay with you even if you got pregnant or married them. People have a soul that was constructed by free will. Once a person show you commitments and sacrifice then you will know that they love you. If any feelings are there between you two before commitment and sacrifice are both established then it's not true love for you. It's just infatuation. The best thing you can do is to continue working on growth and happiness or contentment within and from yourself to yourself. I'm sending this advice hoping you find peace and for you to know that you are worth more than he can ever truly be ready for.💖🙏

    • this was helpful, thank you

  • Cheating is a selfish act, to me it isn't caused by someone else, it is caused by selfish intent, at least most the time it is. I wouldn't stay with a cheater ever. My uncle was cheated on by his wife, he stayed with her, thought she was passed it, turns out she was cheating still! They are divorced now but man, my mom told me "cheaters never change" Now, I disagree I believe anyone can change, but change comes from within and through God, we can't force others to change they have to want to in the first place.

    If anyone cheated with you, I would leave them instantly

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  • yes they keep on doing it. and yet, if you wait like i did i found i could forgive anyone anywhere any time in my life and that is powerful

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  • Some men don't like watching same porn clips twice. Same goes to girls. Some guys need to change their partners

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  • Dang, normally if he really regrets it he will not do it again but that was deep shit

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  • I believe they do keep cheating.

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater

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  • yep always

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What Girls Said 3

  • People who give without standard are easy to use... if he fucks up, he knows you'll blame yourself and try even harder no matter what he does. What he wants is a girl that won't take his shit and make him realize that all that is worth pursuing is not so easily obtainable.

    Stop being a passive sucker.

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  • Lack of respect. There are many women who give their man everything and he'll still cheat, and many men who give their woman everything and she'll still cheat.
    Really, even if a guy isn't that into you a anymore, if he had just a tiny bit of respect, he'd dump you instead of cheat on you.
    Lots of people get to a rut in their relationship, they either work through it or they cheat. Lots of people are bored, they either leave or cheat. Basically, whatever the scenario, whatever the reason for cheating, there were always options and that is the one they chose. There are probably as many reasons people cheat as there are cheats, but a reason doesn't excuse it. Prison is full of people who had a reason they committed a crime for example, that doesn't excuse it. A reason doesn't excuse a cheat. They all have reasons. They're all always sorry too.

    You're not married to him, you have no kids. Why put yourself through this? You've literally got a ton of time to find a better grade of man, why keep this one?

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  • Cheating often reoccurs, yes. You could be the sweetest, most giving significant other, but if your lover is of that mindset, he's still going to cheat. It's not your fault. This is his own pyschological issue.

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