Also, one of my friends say that my suicidal depression seems to be a turn-off, but she admits in her confusion as to when I'm not having an anxiety/depressive episode, I'm one of the funniest and smartest people she knows personally. Perhaps is my mental issues prevalent when interacting with people one on one? Most of my friends don't know that I have this issue anyways, so I don't think so.
Another hypothesis as to why I can't get a girl is that apparently, I might have too few hobbies and interests, but I don't know the validity of this. As a Mechanical Engineering student in Waterloo, it's very hard to have more than a few hobbies and balance an 80 average. I used to have lots of hobbies before depression took it away. However, after depression hit, I was still able to retain my love for 3d printing, science, designing, business, stocks, and being sarcastically funny [assuming I'm not suicidal at the given moment. Otherwise, we can add dark humor to this list] :P
Another thing my friends have said is to continue improving myself, especially with the issues I have, but once again, I'm skeptical so I'm coming to the online community for advice. The main issue, and arguably the only issue, I'm plagued with is my anxiety/depression. However, I feel like I am making significant progress day by day. It's been months since my last attempt at my life and I've stopped cutting myself for the past 3 weeks. That's enormous progress if you ask me. But they say it's not enough. What's the online community's opinion?
But seriously, does it look like my depression is the only thing in the way or is there another hidden variable my friends and I missed?
- Is the main culprit my depression / anxiety?
- Is the main culprit my appearance / looks?
- Is the main culprit my "desperation"?
- Is the main culprit something else? [please specify in the comments]
- Is it all just bad luck [statistically speaking, very unlikely, but possible]
Most Helpful Girl
It's not your a bad guy or anything, i think it's due to the fact that you're indian. I dont think that's necessarily an excuse but i feel like because of the cultural differences women in the West have begun to associate Indian men with the creepy seeming ones many of us meet online, when in reality they only seem creepy because they grow up in a conservative culture where they are not taught how to deal with their sexual feelings properly and they watch movies and assume western women are easy and respect them less than women in their own country. Many women can recall recieving more than a few of these, i know that's not your fault and i wish you the best of luck regarding your search for a relationship and your struggle with mental health.
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Most Helpful Guy
You are friend zones because you have above average looks, your depression will drain and repel others, and you try too hard. Flirting is an art, but a lot of how a girl perceives it is down to how you look, but also the energy of your self.
My advice to you would be to never be desperate, remember that you are a prize that women earn, let them qualify themselves to you, not the other way around. Work on your depression and figure out the root cause. Often it's a combination of poor diet, negative unconscious thought, and a fixation on the past and future.
If you learn how to live in the now, improve your diet and learn what your body needs, and begin strength training, you will feel better, and in turn your vibration will rise. When you aren't depressed, people are drawn to you, and they want to be around you. Your friend even mentioned this... that is the real you...
When you talk to girls, avoid caring too much about the outcome, just have fun and be free. Maybe try reading some of Ekhart tolle's work, or listening to his audio in youtube. You will want to learn from his book ''Power of now''.
Another thing to take into consideration is that a lot of guys have more luck with women as they get older. I get more interest from them now, than when I was your age. However, I prefer to be single because I don;t think they are worth the trouble... you may discover this for yourself in time.