The other night we were out with a group of friends. I wanted to go home alone but he kept insisting he wanted to come with me even if that meant just sleeping next to me. I felt overwhelmed because i felt obligated to leave with him and declined, and instead went home with a mutual friend who I used to be intimate with. By morning he found out we had left together and deleted me on all social media and told me he regrets wasting time on me and that he doesn't want an apology he just wants me out of his life because i slept with his friend again.
Now, like i said there was no exclusivity established at all nor had we talked about even liking each other. i thought it was very casual, and was and still am interested in seeing where it goes but at a slower pace. Yet his actions seemed like those of someone who's significant other of years had just cheated on them. Now i'm wondering what you guys think. Was his reaction warranted? How do i go about talking to him and trying to at least maintain our friendship.
Most Helpful Girl
I am on your side here. In my opinion he’s the one that is in the wrong. From what you have said I couldn’t find anything that specifically asked you to remain loyal to him, you were NOT in a relationship, you were NOT exclusive and there were NO rules you were obliged to follow. Unless these rules are established you aren’t breaking them, there is no such thing as an implied rule, that’s ultimately ridiculous and shows a lack of communication.
If he wants to shut you out, that is his problem. Eventually he might realize what he had done and avoid that happening again, perhaps this situation might clarify to him how important communication is and how he can’t expect things to just magically fall into place (hopefully).
In my opinion you could try talking to him about it, (if you even can talk to him at all, without him acting out) and ask him why he didn’t make it clear he actually wanted an exclusive relationship, or at least solidify the fact that you were ‘dating in exclusivity’, or why he didn’t at least establish grounds for his feelings. He could not have expected you to ‘read’ it out from his actions, it’s a foolish thing to expect of a person that’s completely different from you. In the end assumption is a terribly easy mistake.
Anyway, good luck!