Being over-jealous?

I have a serious problem that I am being jealous on absolutely everything that moves around around my teen girlfriend. I don't understand the reason of this.
Help will be appreciated, thanks!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, are you actually being overly jealous or are there real reasons for your jealousy? Sometimes we downplay what we are truly feeling because we think we shouldn't feel it. If there are actual reasons behind what you're feeling then I wouldn't ignore that, such as if she flirts a lot with other guys. However, if it's more like a guy merely says hi and you get jealous then that is something to be conscious of. I agree with another commenter that jealousy tends to stem from our own insecurities. I used to get jealous super easily when I was a teenager and I've always struggled with self esteem issues. I think it's a combination of age and raging hormones. Also being in a relatively new relationship it sounds more likely. As you and your girlfriend grow and experience things together you'll hopefully build a deep trust between one another and that will help with those jealous moments. Because at the end of the day, even if a guy hits on her you'll know deep down she only wants you.

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    • Unfortunately, I get jealous even when she only talks to other people.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's one thing to be a little jealous, I think that's healthy. But if you're extremely jealous by anyone being around your girlfriend, that sounds like there are self-esteem and securities issues.

    My recommendation is that if you're still in school, you should seek guidance from a counselor. Or even visit a psychologist, someone who can help you understand why you become jealous when your girlfriend spends time with or is around other people. And then the counselor or psychologist can help you solve or improve the reasons that causes you to become extremely jealous.

    You should also talk to your girlfriend about it, but let her know in a way that shows her it's an issue of yours and that you're working on improving yourself. She may be willing to talk with you about it. Just make sure you give her space in all things, and never show or act on any jealous feelings.

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    • I told her about it and she is not obviously happy about it, but I am trying to tell her that I'm not in control of these feelings. Talking to a counselor, well, okay, but I am not very comfortable talking about such things with other people.

    • That is part of the problem, because you need to take control of the emotions. Especially when they are potentially dangerous, such as with jealousy. If you let jealousy control you, it can ruin a good thing.

      But if you control your jealousy, then you can improve. As for a counselor, I can understand you may not be comfortable talking about it with someone. But it is far better to talk about it and get help dealing with the jealousy, then to let it just go and expand on its own. Because if you do that, you may be fine now, but soon enough, you may end up getting into trouble... because jealousy is not something to mess around with.

    • Ok, thanks

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What Girls Said 1

  • How long have you been together? This information is important. I went through the same thing.

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    • Only almost 3 months

    • I went through the same thing. Its pretty typical in a new relationship. I felt horrible about my jealousy issues and i actually visited a therapist for it (I do not recommend this as it was not helpful). Basically, just give it time. I've been with my man for a year and a half now. I still get jealous easily, but it's not anywhere near as bad as it used to be. If she really loves you, she'll understand.

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