Which is the best way to confess?

Sooooo, I am a rather shy girl and I am trying to confess to my crush on Valentine's Day 2018, and I don't know how to confess... Since I am very afraid to confess, I want to write a love letter. I will wait until the twelfth January for the votes, then I will prepare. Because I am reaaallllly afraid. Soo.. please help me! Which is the best way to confess???
  • Which is the best way to confess???Love letter
    Vote A
  • Which is the best way to confess???Talk to him directly
    Vote B
  • Which is the best way to confess???Message him
    Vote C
  • Which is the best way to confess???Call him
    Vote D
  • Which is the best way to confess???Voice message him
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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2018

Most Helpful Guy

  • hey, welcome to that part of life :)
    first of all, what kind of a guy is he and is there any sign that he might actually like you back?

    Asking because confessing might be a bitch if he does not like you back and he will turn you down (better take that into consideration, since it is a possibility).
    If he is a good guy, appreciates the gesture and your kind words and doesn't think "girls are yuck" he will gently let you down. If he is a jerk, he will laugh at all this.

    So first try to figure out if he likes you back: have you ever caught him looking or heard his friends say he likes you, anything that might tell us he likes you back? If you have such "evidence" then ok.

    so let's assume there is something there from his side as well. Don't try and make it a deadline: I'm going to confess on Valentine's Day. No. Do it when you feel comfortable and ready. Sure it's not sex, but still.
    Secondly, you might see it as the fairy tale situation, you will propose on Valentine's Day, he will say yes and you will hold hands and share an ice-cream...
    But fact is, any day is just as good as Valentine's Day to say what you feel. And saying this to him on Valentine's Day might put pressure on him as well: confession on Valentine's Day might be too strong, might be too much love out of the sudden and he might be caught by surprise (if he was your secret crush and you never interacted much).

    So for the sake of relieving pressure, I would say you should do it any other day and do it personally if you feel capable of saying how you feel without backing off.
    If not, a few short rows in writing might help. But nothing too complicated. If you feel you want to marry this guy and have kids with him, better leave that for another letter, some time down the road.

    Messages, call and voicemail are out of question

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I’ve never seen love letters work out. talking to him directly would be best but since you’re shy, maybe message him?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Message him cuz it worked for girlfriend, she very shy so she couldn't say it directly to my face so she confessed at messaging and I said yes cuz I also liked her back xD

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  • If you write him a letter you won't be nervous and have creative freedom and can visualize something. Its cute and amazing, and you won't forget to say something because you're nervous that you really want him to know.

    Also he has something to keep and look at from time to time. Use a little of the perfume you use the most on the letter ;) he'll smell it and be like "aaah it even smells like [name's] scent"

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  • It doesn't matter how you do it. Either he likes you or he doesn't. Your method of confession won't change that, unless he has a pole up his ass about "authenticity" or something.

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  • To confess either in person or a letter, but the actual getting together should be in person. Whatever setup you need can be done, a letter a friend hooking you up, etc. Just make sure the actual talking happens in person.

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  • Since you are 14 and you appear to be shy you can write him a letter. If I was you I would want to do it talking face to face, but that's not for everyone.

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  • I like a love letter. It's a lot more personal. I know I'd love to get that. :)

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  • A letter is nice as it also can be a good memento later if you and your crush gets together. I also written a nice letter to my crush when I gave her flowers. She treasures it ever since.

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  • Hmm... Well, I say in person. It will mean more. But that’s the thing; you’re only 14. You’re too young to walk around in life with the kind of baggage you receive if you date and break up. Coming from a guy who’s been 14-15, I can tell you that right now, his intentions are most likely not good for you. If you’re absolutely DEAD-SET on this, do it in person. You don’t necessarily have to say it unless you don’t know each other very well. But I just want you to think about a few things:

    1. If he says “Yes”, how likely is it that the relationship will last?
    2. If it doesn’t last, how will that affect you?
    3. Will he pressure you into making a mistake that you’ll regret (like having sex/sexual contact)? And,
    4. What could you hope to gain out of a relationship with him?
    5. Could you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?

    Trust me, if you say “No” to those on the last question, you’re probably better off not. But if you think it’s all fine, go for it!

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    • Why would you think if you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody at 14? LOL, that escalated way too quickly.
      When I was 14 I was thinking about holding hands and kissing. And generally gaining communication skills with the opposite sex. It's a good age for her to experience this, at this level only.

      Life advice from your older sis here : Nothing will give you assurance that everything will go well with a person, be it a friend, partner, sprouse, etc. Nothing! In life, the only constant thing is change. Feelings and people change, you can never expect a person's feeling to stay the same forever.

    • Show All
    • in my opinion, it is not a wise decision. I'll tell you from a girl's point of view, she worked her courage to confess to you, despite the risk of getting rejected and ruining a potential long-lasting relationship. She didn't do that for nothing, she did it because she expects an answer. She already did her part by laying her feeling out on the table. By saying nothing, I as a crusher would believe that my feelings don't count at all for you. Understand? You're expecting too much from her side, when the key here is at you. Talk to her, in the most honest way possible.
      Either way, your relationship will surelychange from this point. If you reject her, she might still need some time away to get her feelings sorted out. If you accept her, your relationship will still evolve. I don't understand why would you believe that being in a relationship means that "common interests, sense of humor, and common friends" will be lost.
      You look pretty into her tbh, but just scared to do a step.

    • Well first, you make a good point. And second, I just meant those things for our friendship, nothing more. And as for confessing, it was more indirect than anything. It wasn’t a direct confession, rather it was an inference from her behavior and something she wrote on my hand and such. So yeah, that’s why I want to wait, because even if she feels that way, I’m not sure she wants to act on it. Therefore, if she doesn’t, it’s best to wait to see if she decides to. So yeah, I’m in a pickle. Thanks for your advice!

  • Love letter would be the best way since you said your a real shy girl.
    I know i had a crush on girl one time in High School and i gave her a
    letter.

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  • Confess in a song like Usher

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHK2nzVcU5U

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  • It depends how strong your trust is for one another. The first step would be to become like rllly close with him

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  • ummm. girl confessing to guy?
    voice message is no go he might make fun of you if he record it.
    calling is no go he might make fun of you if he record it.
    Message him is no go he might make fun of you.
    Love letter is no go he might show it off to other.

    just talk directly it's less risky and easier to move on if he reject you.
    coz for the above even if he accept you. when you break up the above can still be risky when you break up.

    I know I'm wrong saying this to someone who want to confess. but it better to be save than sorry.

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  • I think for most guys it's direct talking, but I wouldn't mind a love letter or a message.

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  • Love letter is rather cute

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  • Talk to him directly

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  • I voted E

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  • Voice message him

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What Girls Said 19

  • Talk to him directly :)

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  • A letter or a message is probably your best bet. I always prefer typing out something, especially if it's important, because it gives me the time to put my thoughts into words properly. Plus, writing it would be a lot less nerve wracking than having to say it face to face.

    How ever you decide to do it, good luck! Hope everything works out!

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  • I'd suggest to talk face to face. Nothing works better than having the courage to face your feelings and admit them directly.
    I wouldn't suggest it by messages or voice messages or calls. It feels distant in my opinion.
    A letter would be nice too, it gives a "more personal touch".

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  • I would say to write a letter but I'm thinking what if he's a douche and he shows everyone it , I'll say talk to him face to face. You'll have to later if you decide to ask him on a date. Its best to come out of your shell as early as possible.

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  • Talk to him directly. Its the best way to pour your heart out. unexpected questions arise and answering it face to face is the best way. Even if you're a shy ass girl, there's a high chance that your actions will speak up first. Plus, i think guys prefer shy girls before anything. <3 goodluck.

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  • I feel like you should write a love letter because i know the struggle of being shy and i think if you were to tell him directly you might get too nervous and not know what to say. You sound like a sweet girl i wish you the best. You got this

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  • If you're shy, start with messaging him as it helps a lot. Find something you have in common, like a class you may have together and ask about homework for example - it works a dream. From there on just be yourself and if he doesn't like you then it's his loss.

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  • I prefer letters or messages because it gives the person a chance to think it over rather than an on the spot decision with talking directly.

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  • Love letters usually don’t end well if he’s childish (somebody else gonna see it) so the best way is to tell him directly

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  • I'd say love letter is the best option if you're a shy girl and can't find the courage to talk him directly but at the same time want to convey your feelings to that person.

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  • i think you should talk to him directly, that way you’ll see his first hand reaction and know for sure :) good luck!!

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  • Why are you waiting Valentine's day?
    Tell him now, just directly, you'll see his first reaction and that will tell you how he feels

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  • If you’re too shy to talk to him directly I’d say talk to him over the phone

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  • Talking to him directly its the best way to go

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  • Talk to him directly

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  • However you feel the most comfortable.

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  • Omg just tell him

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  • Talk to him or message him if your too shy

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  • If you're shy it might be better to message him as you'll probably find it easier to construe your thoughts and feelings. There's no right or wrong answer here really, just whatever you two individually feel comfortable with. Bare in mind how you may feel if you don't get the answer you hope for initially too, how would you prefer to deal with that, some people prefer to have that distance through text, others prefer face to face so they can gage more, others prefer something in between like a phone call. I wish you luck! 🙂

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