What is he saying? And is this guy worth getting to know or is it a waist of time?

The guy I am talking to said to me, "So right now I’m not sure if I could really commit to a relationship. I kind of want to be friends with someone first and see where it goes. I got hurt pretty bad from my best friend last year and I’m still recovering from it. Sorry if that’s a problem. It just made me want to take anything I do slowly and make sure I can really trust someone first. That said, if you are cool with that, I don’t think meeting for coffee/tea or something isn’t a bad idea if you’re down for that. I’m not sure if my mind can be physically interested in anyone yet. I know it’s been a year but there might be some residual feelings left that haven’t totally gone away yet. And I don’t want to give someone else my heart if I’m not there yet. It wouldn’t be fair to that person."

Do you think this guy is worth getting to know? Or do you think it's not worth my time?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not worth the time. He is telling you VERY CLEARLY that he's not interested and hoping that by making it clear you are a second option to him, you will leave him alone.

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    • How did you get that from what he said?

    • @TXKen Because many of us are "afraid" to be direct with women because guys have a tendency to get pitted as being the "bad ones" if we straight up say "I'm not interested!". Women are the same way if you think about it: "Let's be friends" is universally accepted as a rejection from a woman.

      On a side note, I have changed. I prefer to be direct and be pitted as a bit of a jerk than give a girl false hope.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if you're looking for a relationship then you should leave this guy alone because the more you start to hang out with him and get close to him the more you're going to hope that you can change his mind. The fact of the matter is he's letting you know up front that he might not get to that point so if you continue to talk to him you are letting him know that you're okay with that and you cannot be mad if he never wants a relationship. However , if you are looking for fun and are not putting all of your eggs in one basket I think you can still get to know him but you can't care about the outcome.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like he's not interested in a roundabout way

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  • My take is that he is scared of getting hurt. Hard to say if he is worth your time.

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  • You have to follow me or I can't message you. 😑

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What Girls Said 0

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