Yea Im in the field that’s why I’m taking a little mental break. Not even going to say anything. He has my number. Sometimes less is better. Let him have some breathing space.
So the more space the better
Depends on his illness, but I think yes. But don't abandon him, give space but make it known you are available if he needs you and leave it at that.
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I’m giving him space right now.
I want him to calm down
You're doing your best and nothing much more you can do that's how you got see things.
It’s emotionally exhausting. I also need time to myself. Plus he needs time to calm down.
Yeah i understand what you mean.
Do you think if I don’t talk to him he’ll get the point? Or he can’t control the illness.
He gets so upset easily and we get in fights.
It's really hard to say , people who are mentally ill, can bring you downand make you emotionally sick so giving him time to his self would bethe best thing to do.
I mean it must have taken a lot of guts to say he had ptsd and I respect him for that. But I need to take care of myself too.
Yes so true you need to take time for yourself. I got mental health illnessesand i know for myself i need time for myself but i don't get into fights plusI'm on medication for my illnesses.
I’ve got my own issues and I’m on medication but he needs time to himself then we’ll talk.
Yes i agree with you
So the more time the better
Yeah cause you both could start feeding off of each others anxieties and such etc.
He was a marine.
Then all you can do is be supportive and help him seek professional help if he needs it, and (universally this applies to all women) help him learn to express his feelings, men especially in the military are taught to be stoic and not talk about things that they are struggling with for fear of it making you "weak". The problem is this leads to further issues later on. A problem shared is a problem halved.
So by him sharing that he’s showing that he likes me a lot and is putting down his gard.
That's him showing trust in you, but you'll have to forgive me thinking that your response there comes across a little narcissistic. He didn't tell you to validate you or as an expression of affection for you to feel good about it, he did it probably as a cry for help in the best case.
So he’s looking for support
Is it ok to give him space to let him clear his head? I need my own space.
Ask him " how can I help, would you like to talk to me about it, I can't sympathise with you because I haven't experienced it, but I can give you a hand to hold of you feel unsteady, a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to listen"
Ain't no head space clearing with PTSD, just a pit that you need help climbing out of. If you don't want to provide him with support then you need to tell him straight up.
I mite need the space before I can be of help
Then tell him that
The way we work is better not to say anything
Sometimes less is better
Sounds like you are the last thing this guy needs then. I feel truly sorry for him. You come across as a narcissist who won't even communicate honestly with someone who has reached out to them for honest communication, and you have turned to some anonymous strangers on the internet for people to validate your desire to be selfish instead of owning it, and having not received it in one thread you've started another one. Pathetic.
I care about him. I just froze when he told me.
Ptsd from being a marine. Should I give him space? I need my own space.
There are probably times when he needs space and times when he needs comfort. You will need to understand what his triggers are and what brings him back. In general that is about it but the more you learn about the condition in general and by talking to him, the better chance you will have of having a good relationship.
Bc I have a licensing exam coming up.
I need to study.
One day he says go away. The next day he says let’s hang out.
Your licensing exam doesn't relate to PTSD I assume.
I’m a mental health counselor so yes it does. But what’s with him saying go away then wanting to hang out. Fear of rejection?
Okay. I have the issue with rejection. My wife even rejected me on our honeymoon. It sounds like you just need to learn to read his and get a better idea when he needs his space and when he needs comfort. Like anyone else, everyone has different needs and they will change with time also. Hopefully he can understand when you need your space as well and so long as both of you can be reasonable you should be able to work together.
So it sounds like rejection to you?
No I don't think so. As long as giving him space lets him regroup and be normal and he still wants comfort, that is just his mood changing. If it's all the time, well...
It’s not all the time but it has happened more than once.
That doesn't sound too bad. My wife was angry ALL the time. There was never a good mood in between.
He has my number. He can text me until I’m ready to talk. Sometimes less is better with him. He responds to that.
It sounds as if you have a fair idea of how long it takes to respond and call it his normal behavior.
So by him telling me he has ptsd that’s a huge sign he likes me and is willing to be vulnerable with me
Perhaps I misunderstood your situation. I was under the impression this was an existing relationship. Telling you that may mean exactly that but everyone is different. I have found by sharing this kind of thing it allows me to get closer by being volunerable but that may not be a why people do. PTSD is more common and people are more willing to talk about it. He may tell everyone but telling you is important because he at least wants you to know so you can be sensitive to it.
Awesome and good luck 😀
I just need time to process it on my own. I suspected it but now it’s as real as it gets lol
That’s what I’ve been doing. Space is also good. I need to process it. Just found out Saturday night. I suspected it but now it’s real!
And I’m also giving him space. He just told me. I suspected it but now it’s real and I need to process it on my own.
PTSD from being a marine
That shit varies a lot but if its real it can be rough. I was more pissed off when I returned from Vietnam rather than anything else. But some of those guys got all turned around and drugs were cheap so that messed up. Only person who can council is probably VA of his counselor. But this has got to be the real thing or he really is messed up. Everything has to on the up and up because a lot of the deal is beig honest with themselves.
So give him some space
I need my space
By the way, when I was in the Army we thought all those guys were crazy. All that gung ho stuff drove us draftees crazy. Man those guys would be all jacked up. But having just been a marine doesn't give you PTSD. Be sure you know what your dealing with.
He said he saw stuff that bothered him
He told me he had ptsd
Holy hell, I want to break down and cry. Hell I still have bloody dreams that scare the piss out of me on occasion. I guess I shouldn't be so rough on the guy. Maybe he is messed up. But if this is a serious thing then they work with family and SO's as well as friends. It really helps. So if its real and you really love this guy you need real help. Be sure their are no sidearms near either of you.
I feel like i should give him some breathing space
In order for me to help I need to have some breathing space too
Maybe stay in touch but stay away for a while is best.
We do best with less so I think it’s best I’m silent
I need a lot of space. I think he does too.
He also needs professional treatment.
Agreed. I think he’s afraid bc it didn’t work in the best. So his attitude is counseling doesn’t work sadly. But that’s why time apart is good.
If he doesn't get professional help, you are in for a really rough ride.
I need my space then I’m going to talk to him
Ok, you will have to tell him that if he doesn't get professional help, then there's no hope for a successful relationship.
Should I give him space? I need my time alone too.
I'd say so, but make sure he knows he can talk to you and let him come to you, if he so feels.
He has my number. He can text me if he wants. I don’t need to say anything. Sometimes less is better with him.
I would imagine so, I'm the same way. Hope he gets better!
Absolutely! At least I think so. It's a huge deal for me to tell about my mental illnesses.
He told me he had ptsd. Does it get more vulnerable than that?
let's not even get interested in "the bait" and move on!
It’s ptsd. He was a marine.
awww sorry. it's sooo sad. it would take time and lot of patience. wish you the best. can't help sorry
So space is ok. If I need space too.
Give him space too. Let him breath.
He needs some medication and emotional support to get over the incident that caused it.
Is it ok to give him space to clear his mind.
A little bit space is fine but if u leave him alone his past will eat him up. Emotions are strongly related with memory and an incident that had a lot of emotional impact can't be forgotten easily. Create new moments that emotionally trigger excitement and happiness in him. Brain is not a computer where u can delete information. To do so u need to add new information
One day he says go away. The next day he says let’s hang out. Do you think he’s afraid of rejection?
He might be having flashbacks of pain of the incident when he said go away but the lets hang out part is where he stablised himself and felt sorry for sayin go away. He is trying to recover dont leave him now. He could be afraid of rejection i dont know but he is afraid he might hurt you.
No I’m not going to. I just have a licensing exam to study for. Sometimes when we don’t talk and come back we get along better.
Good for you👍
Ofcourse because he doesn't want it to come up later on and spoil the relationship. Go for it.👍
He’s definitely dealing with intense trauma and says go away bc of that. It’s not personal. Then he centers himself. It’s a cycle.
I don’t know if I should give him space or not. He’s a lot right now.
It depends on the illness to which you're referring, and it's undertandable if you'd rather not say. If being around him is affecting your mentality, though, there comes a point where you need to regard yourself and take a break. He won't feel better for it if you do, but, he might agree that a bit of temporary space could do some good. You have to think of yourself in the equation, which is only fair.
PTSD from being a marine. He gets upset over the slightest thing.
You should still consider yourself, as your health and feelings matter, too. Does he admit it himself - like, it's not a condition he doesn't believe he has? I'm pretty sure there is a lot of professional help available for it too, it just needs to be sought.
He came straight out and said he had it and he was upset.
That's fair enough. At least he told you! But perhaps professional support couldn't hurt? It must be a torturous thing to try to live with, after all. You still need to consider your own health, and if space would help, then you can only be honest about it. Just reiterate that you are there for him, you need only take care of yourself, too.
Was that him being very vulnerable by telling me.
Opening up about any mental illness in serious capacity is a sign of trust in you as well as the person being vulnerable in some way. :P
You'll get there. The important thing is that you don't rush a decision, because regardless of what it'd be, it'd be rash. :P
Do you think he’ll respect me more for taking my time?
I would. :P
So give him space
Yea if you feel like he needs time alone, give him space
He has ptsd its a lot right now
He gets upset very easily
He gets upset over everything. He has ptsd. It’s very stressful.
So give him space then resume talking to him
make the conversation interesting