Most Helpful Guy
Well, it sounds like you were played. He told you what he thought you wanted to hear, so he could have sex with you. but he's not going to leave his wife for you, because that's a known quantity. Your number is just an excuse. Welcome to the world of "the other woman".
You need o ask yourself why you want him. For more regular sex? Go back to hooking up. You did it for years without qualms; it's still there. But if it's something else you're after, you waited a long time and let yourself go a long way off-market.
At our age, there are three reasons to commit to a relationship.. Regular sex, companionship, and money. None of those is rendered more difficult by having a high number of partners.
Most Helpful Girl
I can see where you are coming from. I wish there was something I could tell you to help you but in my opinion that is not a high body count, especially if you have been involved in friends with benefits kind of things only or mostly rather than plenty of one night stands.
This "John" as you call him seems like a complete jerk. I wouldn't talk to him no more after seeing what he told you and judges you while ignoring his own history. Move on and find someone better.