I'm 52 and Only Had FWB's and Hook Ups Most of My Life. Am I Screwed if I Want a Relationship Now?

Anonymous
I'm 52 and I have been seeing a married man for the last 7 1/2 years. We went to high school and reunited in 2010 when he was in town for a visit. He lived out of town and I only saw him a few times a year. We fell in love and the plan was when my daughter graduated college he was going to leave his wife and I was going to move to his city. I was promiscuous until I got married when I was 24. I was young, attractive, and skinny. I could get any man I wanted. I didn't want to be tied down to one man at a young age. When I was 28 me and my daughter left him. Since I was busy raising her I didn't want a boyfriend. I was happy with fuck buddies. When she turned 12 I didn't want to set a bad example so I didn't date or sleep with anyone for 5 years until I met "John". He swept me off my feet and was the best sex I ever had. My daughter graduated last year and I have been trying to pin him down as to when he would be leaving his wife. He told me he wasn't. I pushed for a reason and he told me it was because of my past. I made the mistake of telling him everything about my past over the last 7 1/2 years and now he is using it against me. I have had several affairs with married men and hook ups. The only real relationship I had was with my ex husband for 4 years and "John". I was faithful to both of them. "John" asked me my number and I told him he was #49. I haven't had a hook up for almost 14 years. He had the nerve to tell me that for him to trade a woman ( his wife) who had only been with a few guys before him for someone like me with a "bad relationship resume" as he put it, would be a mistake. Have I just been called a slut? Is 49 a large number for a 52 year old woman who has been single most of her life? I feel horrible and used. I have gained a lot of weight since I had my daughter and I can't get it off. I weight 275lbs. Between that and my past I feel nobody will want me. Who is he to criticize my morals? He cheated on his wife with me. I never cheated on anyone.
Updates:
+1 y
Oh, and I forgot to mention the asshole deleted and blocked me from all social media and on his phone.
I'm 52 and Only Had FWB's and Hook Ups Most of My Life. Am I Screwed if I Want a Relationship Now?
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