Cheating: is it ever okay?

My partner and I were discussing about cheating and to what extent would it be forgivable.

Physical cheating was a no no for both of us.
Still, to him, emotional cheating was forgivable because, due to past relationships, he believed that it may have been his fault to make the other person miserable enough to seek love and attention from another.

What do you think? Is emotional cheating forgivable? Is it even a thing? Would you forgive your significant other if they cheated?

  • I'd forgive my partner if s/he emotionally cheated on me, but not physically
    Vote A
  • I'd forgive my partner if s/he physically cheated on me, but not emotionally
    Vote B
  • I wouldn't forgive any of the types of cheating
    Vote C
  • I'd forgive both
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If my partner feels miserable, she has an obligation to address that problem with me and not with anyone else. That is the promise she made and that is the promise I would expect her to keep. If she breaks that promise, how could I ever again trust her absolutely?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like, and you agree, that physical cheating is a never. Emotional cheating, I say it depends on the length it went on for. If my partner sees a woman and thinks she's hot/sexy and wants to have sex with her etc, i wouldn't care, because its called attraction and it happens to everyone. However, if they wish not to be in a relationship with me and with someone else that they know, which is technically emotional cheating, i would trust my partner to either address the issue to me, or just break up with me because being cheated on is a humiliating, degrading, traumatizing experience.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 83

  • Hard to say. I would not want to throw away years of invested relationship time with someone who made a mistake and that I deeply cared for and loved. I also firmly believe that a person "cheats" because they are bored or not satisfied with their SO. So the person being cheated on can never truly be a 100% victim. Sometimes relationships get stale and someone needs a new spark. I am not condoning it, but sometimes both partners are to blame.

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  • You gotta delve deeper into the topic. Just wait till my article comes out.
    Is it ever okay? NO!!! fuck no. But im tired of the actual victims being blamed by the people who play victim.

    I can forgive cheating... and i have. but i can't forgive playing "victim".

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  • Other, it'd depend on the situation. If you had asked me a few years ago I would have easily said something akin to, "fuck that person, they obviously don't care for me, so I don't care for them." Since then however, I have realized that life is much more complicated than I thought.

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    • It's only complicated if you make it so.

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    • @ThisDudeHere Eh, if you don't want to be with someone, and think that no excuse would ever work for you then that's your prerogative, I'm not trying to change your mind, just saying that in my experience things are more complicated. One such example is that my dad cheated on my mom, she left him, and it led to me growing up without a father for much of my life, and then with a "rageaholic" when she later got remarried. She says that looking back, she thinks she probably would have done things differently. I also know of people who've said that while their partner cheated and everything was fucking awful during that time, that they've moved past it together and couldn't be happier as a couple. I also, on the other hand know people who've broken up with a person who cheated and wound up happy, and some who wound up unhappy.

      I just won't judge another's relationship.

    • Fair enough.

  • i feel like this is two questions
    is cheating ever ok? a hard No on that one
    but nearly anything (including cheating) can be forgiven whether it's physical or emotional cheating

    i've been cheated on and forgave them. but i also didn't stay with them

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  • Cheating is cheating. If you are being fulfilled then you shouldn’t need to look elsewhere for physical or emotional needs.
    If a partner has to lie or hide about an interaction with another party then something is wrong.
    How can you trust a person if they cheat on you?

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  • If my SO feels miserable or thinks that we have problems - she is more than welcome to discuss it with me and we will find a solution together - isn't that a main idea behind the relationship? How long would we be together if after couple of bumps on the road she starts to look for someone else? Relationships are full of ups and downs. I would not trust her anymore after either type of cheating.

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  • Don't talk about what point would be forgivable with your SO...
    That's like giving them a free pass

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  • i could see myself forgiving my partner if i think they are worth it and if they confessed it to me accompanied with the promise to never do it again.

    otherwise i'm out.

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  • "Other." The term "cheating" is erroneous and stupid.

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    • To be pursued 😂 where are you even going with this

    • To illustrate the point.

  • Cheating is a HUGE turn off and I'd probably just walk away.

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  • All types of cheating are unforgivable and emotional cheating is as bad as physical cheating.
    A relationship is formed by the feelings we hold for each-other. If they were gone then it means that the relationship is over. There is no point of staying after that.

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  • The poll answers are misleading. Forgiveness and allowing are 2 different things. Cheating is never OK. Forgiving someone for cheating is. Even with permission, cheating cheapens the value people have to each other. The things that bind 2 people together gradually become more like functions of a relationship more than investments in each other.

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  • I don't think that any kind of cheating is forgivable. You can't let your emotions rule you, principally when you have someone by your side who trusts you (or who's supposed to). It's never okay, no excuses.

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  • No. Communication is needed in a relationship and if a promise is made to be exclusive, then we both must honor it or there is no point in being in a relationship. If they feel miserable, tell me, otherwise break up with me instead of going to someone else.

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  • I don't know what emotional Cheating is. Physically having another mans dick in my girlfriend would piss me off. Kissing would annoy me it would be hard to forgive but I could do it if I 100% knew that is all that had happened unless it was with an ex.

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    • Emotional cheating would be like seeking love n attention from another

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    • Really? You wouldn't mind it if guys were provoking and your girl was responding?

    • I flirt with Girls as long as the guy isn't too over the top grab ass or some shit like I have seen with some men. If its purely just a confidence build and nothing more it doesn't matter. As long as I don't find out I'm not too fussed to be honest

  • Okay, to be clear: Cheating means hidden emotional and/or physical encounters for personal pleasure at the expense of one's partner.

    If you two agree to be in an open relationship or agree to try a threesome or some other things once or maybe even a few times, it's okay. As long as you agree. As in, you both know about it.

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  • Emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating, There is no getting past someone being with you and knowing they are longing to be with someone else.

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  • I like this question.
    I think that both are bad, but physical cheating is significantly worse, and is not remediable. If my significant other physically cheats on me, it relationship is instantly over. There exception would be if there was no consent, like sexual acts under duress, without obtaining consent, or due to risky sexual behavior associated with disease or mental illness.

    Emotional cheating on the other hand does not necessarily jeopardize a relationship because controlling emotions is not as easy as controlling actions. For example, someone can make you so angry, you want to punch him in the face. You might not help being angry, but you have the choice on whether or not to act on that anger. Actually landing a punch is literally an assault.

    There's a reason the law punishes people for crimes, and not just for contemplating them.

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  • Can you give an example of emotional cheating, I don't quite understand the concept 😅

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    • Kinda like... Seeking love and attention from another 😂 you're feeling lonely in your relationship so you become cuddly with another, without actually getting physical.

    • But why would you be in that relationship in the first place if you feel lonely and those things happen?

    • I don't know, you can ask that about anyone who cheats. Why seek someone else if you aren't happy with your partner. 😂

  • There's obviously a LOT of variables to unpack here... But generally speaking, cheating usually means taking some feeling or action from your relationship and giving it to someone else.

    I truly believe that, as long as your infidelity doesn't diminish your own relationship (like it's purely physical, or ADDS to your own satisfaction without diminishing your partner's) then it's not only forgivable but morally ok.

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  • Under no circumstances is cheating in any form ever okay. I never forget and I never forgive any sort of betrayal. If a girl cheats on me even once, she's dead to me. And I'm certainly not interested in hearing any bullshit excuses or explanations.

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  • I'm not sure its as simple as the question , so I voted " Other " . When is cheating really cheating? depends on the consideration of the relationship , and the views of each. I was once accused of " cheating " when I was not having sex with the said " partner " , that's not cheating as I explained to her because we don't have a relationship.
    The other consideration is monogamy , and that just simply does not work , we were just not made that way , to keep a sex life varied and interesting over 10 years or more is extremely difficult for anyone.

    Like most issues.." Many many shades of grey " and I've been involved in most of them :) . But far from Black / White like the question.

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  • None of us are mind readers. Both people are responsible for telling each other what is bothering them. Cheating is never ok since it can easily be prevented.

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  • If that's what you want to do (cheat) THEN DON'T BE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP... end of story. It's worked for me my whole life.

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  • Cheating is never ok. Your boyfriend is living with bullshit misandrist guilt.
    Women have long written the rules on relationships, and fundamentally still do. This led to the myth that everything that goes wrong in a relationship has to be the man's fault. If he cheated, it's his fault cuz he's a man and men are evil. If she cheated, it's still his fault because women are wonderful and never do anything wrong unless a man makes them.
    Cheating is NEVER ok. It's up to you how often and how much you decide to forgive, in the end. But more men need to stand up for themselves and dump their cheating whores because women cheat just as often and for all the wrong reasons, same as men.

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  • Emotionally is worse cause you have feelings then, physicaly brings emotions after, except if it is a professional 'girl/gigolo'. My thoughts

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  • All of them have a maximum and minimum extent just depends on how far it went in eather case. (if she cheated on me with a girl iight ask to join in lol).

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  • Nah, if you want to do something with someone else; Respectably tell me and I'll let you be on your way.

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  • Sometimes there are certain things that your partner can't share with you, but this doesn't mean that s/he does not want to share 'em, so this one is not cheating.
    Anything other than this I can't say.
    And I strongly oppose physically cheating.

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  • I'm quite certain it would be D, but the condition is she must really feel sorry for it and convince me I'm the one and no one else.
    Also, the forgiveness is strictly one time!

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What Girls Said 48

  • I don't know if it's okay, but it seems kind of ubiquitous. i don't think anyone is ever wholly faithful to their partner.

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  • I don't think it's ever okay and I would not stay with someone who cheated on me. I can forgive them because I view forgiveness as an essential part of healing and moving on from a negative experience but that doesn't mean I would want to stay in a relationship with that person. Being cheated on would make it extremely difficult for me to trust that person again and there's no point in staying with someone I can't trust.

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  • Cheating is a betrayal of trust , whether it's emotional of physical. If someone betrays my trust i cut all means of contact and move on from them. I would never cheat on a guy , so i wouldn't lower my standards by staying with a guy who cheated on me.

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  • I guess you can forgive in both cases but cheating is never okay. It’s very simple to tell someone upfront that you aren’t happy so that you can work out your problems or go your separate ways. I always think it’s better to save someone you claim to love from heartache rather than be selfish and do something that will most likely crush them if they were to find out.

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  • I don't know, in some ways, I feel like the emotional aspect would hurt me more, because I value that more than their touch. Losing that would be devastating.

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  • Cheating is cheating. You are kidding yourself someone truly loves you if they cheat on you whether emotionally or physically. If someone is truly commited and in love with you they won't feel the desire to even cheat in the first place

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  • There's NO excuse for ANY cheating. Full stop. Face it, you got horny for someone else and wanted to see if they were any greener than the grass at home. It never is. If you don't love someone, dump them instead of cheating.

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  • Cheating is cheating and all is wrong. to all extents it's unforgivable. i don't have time for that when there's hot guys looking like Paul walker around the corner from my house. lol

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  • It is never ever okay. Why cheat when you can leave? No matter the circumstances or consequences, just leave me and love them instead. I got no time and energy anymore to cry for you.

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  • I think emotional cheating is worse... physical is lust and has nothing to do with ur current partner really but emotional has everything to do with ur current partner

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  • There is not form of cheating that is less cheating than the other cheating is a form of disrespect and disrespect cannot on any level be tolerated

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  • I won't forgive any form of cheating. I'd leave instantly as well.

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  • Whatever reason it may be, I don't give a crap. Cheating is cheating lol, if you don't like your partner then tell them that, do something decent for once and stop being an idiot

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  • I wouldn't forgive any cheating. If you choose to go behind my back and fw with someone else, they can keep you, I'm dumping your dumb ass and moving on sis.

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  • None of them is forgivable. Hurting and disrespecting your partner on purpose is never forgivable

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  • Thoughts of cheating are as bad as the real thing. All types of cheating are unforgivable.

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  • I think that emotional cheating is even worse than physical. So I wouldn't forgive any of the types of cheating. Because I think when you're in a relationship with someone, you're together because you completely trust and love each other.

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  • Either address the problem or leave the relationship, I don't condone either cheating. I would eventually forgive both but I would never go back to that person, forgiveness helps me move on

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  • Cheating is cheating. One form or another. It's wrong and there is no way to change that.

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  • Not at all. You cheat on me, you lost me. Doesn't matter if it's emotional or physical.

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  • If you’re that miserable, break up! Why is this a difficult concept to grasp?

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  • I’d forgive but I’d wouldn’t stay with him. Forgiveness is for my well being. Not his.

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  • Never forgive [url]https://www. youtube. com/watch? v=gdD5FRSwolc[/url]

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  • If his ass cheats on me, he's out the door. No second chances.

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  • Cheating is cool only if you don't care about the person anymore and it's not serious but it's best to break up with them first than cheat

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  • I would not forgive any of types of it. Because i lose my trust:/ I just could not feel the same. That is me.

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  • Cheating is not okay. I woudn't forgive any types of cheating

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  • No. But if you ever do make sure its on your way out the door.

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  • I don't care, if my partner cheated on me, I'd break up with him anyway

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  • Cheating isn't forgivable.

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