My boyfriend's a sociopath, but I still love him, though I don't like his behaviour. What do I do?

So, I know this guy since my childhood (We have mutual friends), but I never liked him (at least I thought so), but whenever somebody would say something bad about him, I would always defend him. When we were 14 year olds, we got closer and that's when I realised I loved him, I just knew it. We got closer and closer and now we were dating. Right now, I'm 18 and he's still my boyfriend. I kind of always knew he was a sociopath and loved manipulating people, but I just didn't pay attention to it. Plus, he always tells me how good it is to have control over people. He's different with me, he opens his heart to me and I always thought he played mind games on me, but I googled - ,, How to know if somebody plays mind games on me" and it turned out he didn't. I don't like his behaviour, but I love him with all my heart and want him to be normal, to not control people. I don't want to leave him, I want to change him. Please, give some opinions. P. S sorry for my bad English.

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  • 1) You don't just change a sociopath. Sociopathic tendencies are clinical disorders. It'd be like curing autism (or at least that which formerly was Asperger's) by handing someone a comprehensive rulebook of social interaction.

    2) How do you know he doesn't play mind games on you? I'm low in empathy and I don't have a problem scheming and using others as my pawns. If someone with sufficient skill wants to control you, then you won't notice.

    3) Get rid of him. It'll only get worse, you'll be more and more torn, you will feel worse and worse for abandoning him as time goes on.

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    • As I said I googled it and saw many posts about it😂 I know it's lame, but I just wanted to check and from what I read it turnes out he's not playing anything unless he's just too damn skilled or has some new ways of messing with somebody's mind. But here's the question. Why would he tell me about his feelings?

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    • So, how did it turn out?

    • I broke up with him.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Get rid of him. Now. On the spot. Poof. It's gonna be hard, but you have to.

    I had a friend whose boyfriend was not only a sociopath, he was also possessed by the demon. I made her a Holy Cross, charged with the energy of God and told her to run away. As far as possible.
    (No, I'm not even joking)

    You don't want someone to mess with your heart or your brain. Just go.

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    • 😂😂😂Ok very funny. I'm not going to get rid of him, I know what he's capable of and I'm not scared, but I want to really do something about his behaviour. And really? possessed by the demon?😂😂 Couldn't you think of something more original😜

    • I didn't make it up, but nevermind.
      And don't bother. To change someone, they need to be motivated. A sociopath (if he really is one) won't. His moral compass is deranged.

      He doesn't have to be a sociopath. Selfish, stubborn, arrogant, egocentrical people are also on the spectrum. (Although these are all common traits of a sociopath)

  • a true sociopath does not love, they emulate love and empathy, but they truly do not feel it.. He has trust with you, but I warn you, if you ever betray that trust, it may be the worst thing that you could do to him, and remember he has no true feelings if he is a true sociopath, and that could be bad for you... He will have no empathy, mercy or sympathy like you and I know it. its always about him and ONLY about him.

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    • So... I'm in danger right?😅 ...

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    • Not all sociopaths are psychopaths, so I can't tell you one way or another. Why do you call him a sociopath?

    • I read that sociopaths still have some kind of empathy in them, which I see it in my boyfriend, but hate people and sometimes love controlling them and psychopath is the one who doesn't have any empathy at all and could murder anyone without a blink of an eye.

  • You don't change someone like that. That's not just a simple behavior.

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    • What do you mean? Can you explain in more details please

    • It's a psychiatric condition, you can't just ask him to stop being a sociopath, even specialists can't do that easily.
      Also, a real sociopath has no feeling. No love. Either he loves you, and he's not a sociopath, and then the problem is something else. Or he is and he doesn't love you.

    • As I know, Sociopaths do have some kind of empathy in them, for example they love their family or loved one, but for psychopaths they don't have any kind of emotion and they can even kill without a blink of an eye. That's what I know of these two conditions.

  • Well if he doesn't start killing people

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