How can I let a guy know I’m not interested?

I know I should just be honest and tell him but how can I say it without offending or hurting his feelings?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell him , sometimes being straightforward is the best thing one can do

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just be kind by complimenting something about him first but drop in why it won't work and how you've tried to solve it but it's just not going to happen and reinforce his confidence by focusing on what good things he ha to offer to the right person and then wish him all the best.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 160

  • hmmm how about ignoring him and avoiding him and make him more miserable and hurt?
    for the love of god, you're not gonna marry him either to avoid hurting him so just be simple and honest, save the drama for him and your self !

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    • I wasn’t even thinking of avoiding him. I just wanted to know how I should say it. But I already told him anyways.

  • You goal should not be to not hurt his feelings, as you can't control his feelings. More to the point, you goal should be to be honest with him, and to tell him in as kind a manner as you can, to lessen his hurt feelings, if there are any. In the long run, it's better for him to know sooner, than later. The more time goes by, the more painful it will be.

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  • If you're trying to stay friends say something like: "Sorry but, you're not what I'm looking for" or "I don't feel that way about you". A lot of guys will be understanding. The friend part is harder that's really up to him if it would be too awkward or not. Either way you really should tell him even if it's straight up "I don't like you". Hope this helps.

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  • There's no way it won't be at least a little hurtful, so you might as well be blunt and direct, but you can cushion the blow a little by acknowledging how he had the guts to approach at least.
    (At that point, you can let him save face by steering the talk a bit off topic, to minimize the awkwardness.)

    If he keeps pushing though, tell him off harshly.

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  • Don't worry about his feelings. They are his problem, not yours. Be direct and clear. "Thanks, I'm flattered, but it's not going to work for me." That's it. You don't owe him an explanation. If he persists, just say "Sorry, I'm not interested. Please don't ask again."

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  • Depends how serious you are. It sounds like not very so you can just take a step back and see if he pursues.
    If he does, don’t flake or bullshit just be honest.
    It’s better in person, then phone, then email, then text.
    You should not rely on the last two unless you really can’t meet or talk. It’s all about respect.

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  • Talk about other guys. And actually ask this exact question to them.. He's obviously a friend or you wouldn't even care to ask. It's easy to tell strangers no thanks. Cheap easy solution is you say your dating even if your not. And that you don't realy discuss those matters. So you don't have to create a HUGE lie

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  • Rejection always hurts, you can't avoid it completely, but just be as nice and polite as possible and keep it simple. Something like "thank you so much for asking, but I'm not interested, I'm sorry." This way you're still telling him you're not interested, but lets him know that you appreciate being asked still.

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  • You shouldn't bother hurting men's feelings. Just say everything straight. Those who are too sensitive can jump from a cliff, it's Darwin's selection in the end.

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  • "Hey look , I think you're an amazing guy and I appreciate you and the friendship we have, but I don't value you as anything more than I friend. I'm sorry."

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  • Start asking him about how big his bank account is. And just talk about all this expensive shit you'd like to get, even if you don't really want it. He'll think you're just a money grubber and run off.

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  • Two strike approach - one time you kindly hint that you are not interested by saying "I'm not looking to date right now" etc. If that doesn't work, you need to be more direct by saying "I don't think WE could be a good match, I'm sorry"

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  • "I'm just not in a place where I can date right now. Just not available."
    do not elaborate. Just shut it down, no responses, no corresponding, no feedback.

    That way it's on you, not him. He won't stalk you then. LOL

    Oh, and guys don't get hints and innuendo - you have to be direct and clear or they don't 'get it'.

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  • Just be honest, who cares if you hurt his feelings or not... He's not a little girl. I'm glad you seem like a nice person but if you try to bend to the will of every guy to "let them down easy" you'll just be hurting him in the long run. Just say you don't have feelings for him and to just keep swimming.

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  • Well the last time I checked there was a communication device called your mouth and the strongest way to voice your opinion on something is to say that you know be straight up with him that yes he may be an interesting person by the way in which is putting himself across to you is not coming across as interesting

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  • I think the best way to do it is to start just date other men and just show him that you're interested in playing the field and then you're not interested to settle for one person and then when you do find the right person just tell him that you are already taken

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  • Just tell him your gag username is Butthole1234 , and I'm sure hell be running for his life.

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  • A kick in the nutsack works great! Just kidding! Politely say "Thanks for your attention, I'm flattered, but I m not interested sorry. If he didn't leave turn it up a notch " Look ! I am not at All attracted to you, can I have my space now "

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  • Stop all the worrying about "not hurting his feelings" and straight up tell him, "I'm not interested". Be an adult. Sure, he may get mae, upset, sad, etc, at first when he hears it but he'll get over much quicker and with much better feelings toward you at the end if the day. If you're not straight up, the consequences will be much much worse

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  • "I'm not interested."

    A guy should respect that you were honest and direct with him. How he takes it is his problem.

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  • when People are young and your feelings get hurt your imune system actually get's stronger. i don't rememer the science. but maybe that's why my dad never gets sick. and maybe even more so when he bashed a guys head against a brick wall because he always tried to make my dad feel bad in 9th grade and made his work really hard to do. well that bully never bullied again.

    so you are doing him a favor really

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  • This question gets asked here all the time and the answer always remains the same - if he will get hurt, he will get hurt; there is no way avoiding that.

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  • by trying to ind a way that "doesn't" hurt him, you'll just be hurting him even more. Be honest, he'll appreciate it, Grow up and chew the fat. Women that act like that end up causing even more pain when they just need to grow up

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  • Offending or hurting is part of telling someone he's not interesting to him. There is no better way than sayimg "i'm sorry, but i'm just not interested in you"...
    Anything else will end in either you being hated or him staying hopeful

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  • Honesty is the best policy. Don't give him a list of reasons why you're not interested. If you feel this way tell him you don't mind him as a friend but are not interested in anything further than that.

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  • It's pretty unavoidable. You WILL hurt his feelings. You're telling him that you don't see a future with him. Getting rejected sucks, but I think you need to just state your reasons and let things fall where they will.

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  • Any honest comment is better than ghosting or stringing him on. Don't get emotional just let him know how you feel, if there is something specific let him know maybe he hasn't thought about that trait as either a hindrance or advantage.

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  • Gosh I hate this fake crap. Just tell him you aren't interested, it's as simple as that. If that's a problem for him, HE'S NOT A GUY.

    Meanwhile, you females make the rest of us suffer by giving us their numbers when you aren't even interested, pretending, faking it, etc... The world would be a lot better if you were as honest and straightforward as you'd like us to be. If a guy gets his feelings hurt because some girl said no thanks, he's too weak.

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    • Just to let you know I didn’t message him first. We were having a normal conversation and I noticed what he was getting to. I wasn’t thinking of ignoring him or playing games, I already told him a while ago.

  • If you tell him straight up and dont hold back and explain your doing it because its less painful to know than not to. And the fact you dont feel its right to lead him on.

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  • Yeah just tell him its going to hurt him more if you dont tell him now because eventually it will come to it

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What Girls Said 37

  • If you are both just Dating but not mating ( A couples deal) tell him you are sorry, but are not ready to be in a relationship and that you feel the deal Is... Things are going a bit too Fast for you right now. Tell him you would like to slow things Down a notch. And also Tell him with that, You need Some Space from his Face.
    However, if it is Something also like Where he is Into you but you just Plain Jane don't like him, then say Nothing, Back off. He'll get the Helpful Hint.
    Good Luck. xx

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  • I don't think there's any way you could reject someone and not make them feel hurt in some way. The best thing you can do really is to be honest with him and keep it short and simple. No need to list 10 excuses as to why you're not interested, and to talk about how amazing and sweet and nice he otherwise is. Sit down, say "I appreciate it but sorry, I don't feel that way about you. I'm not interested. I hope you will find someone else who is."

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  • Tell him he’s sweet and/or you’re flattered then just say you’re not looking to date right now, you’d rather be friends, you are waiting for your crush to ask you out, you have a boyfriend... just adding in the “you’re sweet” and flattered tempers the blow a bit

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  • just be straight because trust me gilr they are guys out there that even tho you spell NO in their faces they wiuld still not get it. they okay some of them process this kind of info a bit slow ya know?

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    • "I have a boyfriend (pause) unfortunately" what's your opinion on that one?

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    • Can you not read? I wanted your opinion but clearly it seems to be beyond you to provide one

    • I can read but the fucking problem is that you don't know what you want and that's annoying

  • I mean, no answer will stop him from signing into GAG and calling you a heartless bitch on anonymous later. But you just have to say "thank you, I appreciate it, but I'm not interested." If he asks again, say a little sternly "thank you, but I am not interested." If it persists, you have to ask him to stop or leave you alone. Most guys comply but others think they deserve something for coming up to you.

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  • You need to be honest. You can’t lead him on. I suggest you tell him how you feel, but be kind about it. “Hey Bob, you are a great guy, but I am not interested,” something like that maybe.

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  • Just don't give him as much attention, don't hang out with him alone - always bring someone with you.

    Maybe tell him hey sorry but i'm not looking for anything rn. Just want to be ftiends. i would be happy for you if you got a girlfriend so don't worry about that

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  • You need to just tell him the truth. It sucks but he needs to know it's not reciprocated

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  • Tell him directly and be blunt. Don't play mind games. Don't be "that bitch who leads him on". And if he chooses to end the friendship, respect his decision.

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  • Just tell him. Don't sugar coat it. Just let him know that you aren't interested in him.

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    • Yeah like if you think he's saying things in a way that seems like he's getting in his feelings be sure to like be like hey dude - figuee it out this isn't what you think it is - he'll respond in one of two ways - 1. I wasn't trying to be like thaaat.
      2. Ok sorry - i won't be like that anymore

  • Just say you have no interest, he will be disappointed and sad anyway, just rip it of like a bandage. Better now than never

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  • Just let him know you think he's great but don't have any romantic feelings

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  • Just tell him. He'll be hurt a bit, but he'll get over it.
    You don't have to feel bad about this, it's not your obligation to like back every guy who likes you.

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  • "Sorry but I'm not interested in dating you"
    Send it in a text or something the next time he asks you to hang out

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  • Just say it, it`s super easy and in the end the best for both of you. We are all grown ups

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  • I’m on the same boat girl. I’m confused on what to do

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  • I don't have Feeling for you. I'm Sorry. Simple say that. They is no nice way to say it. The truth will hurt

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  • Be direct and honest, just say you aren't interested in a relationship or see him in that way.

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  • Why are you downvoting every guy when they're all basically telling you they can take a woman being honest.

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  • "hey... I am really sorry.. but.. I don't want a relationship right now.. sorry.. but I am sure that you will find your one..:) " that is how I'm telling a guy that I'm not interested..

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  • Ok I understand telling him straight can sound rude, tell him u have interest in some else.. friendzone him...

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  • Usually if you scream rape and start swinging your arms they run away, but I don't know anything.

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  • Uhh, I think, in fact, whatever the way you use, if he truly likes you it will be hurt. When you say: "Oh ho ho, let's just be friends," he'll find it's a joke. When you snap: "Don't come near me anymore!" he'll find it more adventurous to be close to you. Crazy, isn't it?

    Haha. My mother had one like that (before I was born of course), and that man stopped when my mother sent him a wedding invitation.

    I think, men like 'direct things', just say that you aren't interested. It may hurt a little, but he'll forget it soon.

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  • Just say u have a boyfriend. thats what u do and it works

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  • You should be blunt and honest. Who cares about hurting his feelings? His feelings will be hurt no matter how you reject him.

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  • Just tell you are not interested. Be honest. That is it.

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  • He will be upset no matter what u do but best and fairest for both of u to be straight wiv him

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  • I tell him I have a girlfriend.

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  • By just saying your not

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  • Tell him face to face that u are not interested

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