Boyfriend going to dinner with an old friend?

My boyfriend is having dinner with one of his old friends who is a woman. I looked her up on Facebook and she’s a really pretty woman, I don’t really think she’s his type. He did ask if it was ok and I told him it was fine because I didn’t want to come off jealous or worried. But I am jealous and worried. Should I be or do I just need to relax and trust him?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I say relax and trust him. Unless you see some significant signs that there's something going on with them that shouldn't be, I see no problem with him having female friends and occasionally having dinner with them. My girlfriend and I both have opposite gender friends and are fine with that because we are confident that we are both committed to each other and that those people are just friends.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should relax and trust him. Has he ever given you any reason to think he is disloyal? If not, then this shouldn't be an issue. It's just dinner to catch up with an old friend, it's not a big deal and it doesn't mean anything. Try not to overthink it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You need to trust your boy friend if you love him you will let him do things that he enjoys and that includes spending time with friends if he loves you he won't cheat or do anything of the sorts so there should be nothing to worry about

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  • Platonic friend? Probably safe not worrying. Dated? Will depend on whether you trust him in general.

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  • What is she to him?

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What Girls Said 3

  • I do think it's a little weird that he wants to go to dinner alone with another woman. If someone else was there it would be fine, but one-on-one at DINNER is strange.

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    • I know a lot of people think that, but I disagree. Maybe dinner is the only time they could both be available. Even if it's not I don't think it's necessarily a problem. I've gone to dinner one-on-one with a female friend many times while in a relationship - always with the approval of my girlfriend or wife at the time. One of my exes attended my wedding (with the knowledge and consent of my wife) and even went on vacation with us (and my sister-in-law) once. Exes are exes for a reason and by the time I got married and we went on that vacation (a year or two after the wedding), I no longer had any romantic interest in that ex so she really was just a friend.

      I agree that not all guys could be trusted in that situation, but some of us can. My partners all know that I am a one woman at a time kind of guy so they trust me alone with other women.

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    • @CallMeDave I just don't think it's appropriate. In some contexts, such as business meetings or whatever, it's fine. But if my boyfriend said he was going out alone with one of his many female friends, I would be angry. I'm just not okay with it. That's all.

    • Well, if my girlfriend wanted to have dinner with a male friend and specifically said she didn't want me there, I'd be upset about that (unless there was some good reason for it), but it would be because she didn't want me there not because she was having dinner with a guy.

      So, for example, if she and I had plans to meet the guy for dinner and something happened that I couldn't go, I wouldn't expect her to cancel too - or if the guy was only in town for one night and I couldn't go that night, I wouldn't expect her to miss seeing her friend because he happened to be a guy. How would you feel about those situations with your boyfriend and a female friend if you were invited but just couldn't go?

      I think if one of my female friends was in town and my girlfriend said I couldn't meet my friend for dinner because she couldn't be there to chaperone, I'd be pretty upset that she was preventing me from seeing my friend and also that she didn't trust me.

  • You need to trust your boyfriend. She’s a friend.

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  • I gotta hand it to you for letting him go hang out with a female friend. I was okay with my ex doing what he wanted and gave him that freedom too (she was also older than him), well they slept together and you know how that ended. Never again for me.

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