Guys, Whys he come back?

A few weeks ago a guy I was talking to ended our chats.
We met on tinder, we have a few mutual friends and have spoken before a few years ago.
He works near me but lives about a hour away.
It was quite apparent he wasn’t interested in anything other than phone chat and we exchanged a few saucy messages etc. He did try to get me to do phone sex but I wouldn’t.
Eventually he politely wished me well and said he hoped I found someone who could offer me more that pics and chat. I wished him well too and that was that.
He messaged me to wish me a merry Christmas and I wished him too.

However he messaged me yesterday saying that he had been thinking about me.
I’m a little confused. If he knows he’d never meet me why he’s bothered to start things up again. I really did quite like him and was abit disappointing he didn’t want things to go further.
How should I play this with him?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • The ball is in your court. You can decide if you are starting the game with love love or match point. I hope you know tennis a bit. Just because he came and went doesn't mean anything. Do you like him? Go for it. Play it to win and you are far more likely to get what you want than if you sit around waiting for another partner. You can decide later if he does the same thing again or you notice something else

    • He never suggested meeting up which I what I’d of preferred. Before he disappeared he said he hoped I found someone abit more local. I said ok and that was it. I personally don’t see the point in just messaging never to meet. I tried to entice him but I didn’t seem to work. A hour is nothing really but he only wanted the phone thing. Maybe he just misses that!

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    • Since neither of you are really stating your interest, you are trying to read into the situation. Even if you do feel a strong connection, it can be hard to maintain without actually saying what you think directly. That can be scary because you don't want to scare them away. That is how it feels to me at least.

    • You could be right. I’ll just see how it pans out

  • It could be possible he has a list of girls to chat and from time to time he just refresh the list, hoping to find someone that would be more 'happy to help' him.

    The time spent to send a message is nothing if you can have another opportunity.

    I think that it depends what do you want exactly from him and what he want from you.

    • I don’t think he wants anything in the flesh. He said before he hoped I found someone more local. I tru d to entice him but he didn’t ever suggest meeting. Maybe he’s not got a phone buddy?

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    • He’s not married that’s for certain. He may be seeing someone but that does seem so either as I can see him on fb. Nothing indicates that. Maybe he just doesn’t want to go that far with it

    • Yeah, don't know him and I don't have him on facebook, but I hope I provide you some insight of what type of people you can find outside.

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