Can you really forget about the past troubles and mistakes in a relationship and only focus on the future and how to make it right?

My ex has come back for the fourth time and he tells me that he is forgetting all the trouble and mistakes in our relationship because he wants to make it right and just focus on the future. Is that a very naive thing to do?

Me on the other hand sees the trouble and mistakes as red flags and can’t let go also because I’m tired of heartache and crying every time we break up and then a week later he comes back wanting to restart again. He tells me to find empathy in my heart to try again , but that’s all I’ve done every-time we’ve tried to fix things.

What do you think? Can you really forget the past? What would you do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the kind of mistakes but if it causes you to cry a lot and have heartaches and breaking up multiple times.. I do not see how it would suddenly work if you try again and again. There is a reason you break up again, if you see them as red flags, he might be cute and loving but he simply has things or did things that you can't (yet) get over. In my opinion, how sad it may be, it is better to let it go for now, he had enough chances and you should not keep hurting yourself. Maybe in the future he can proof he has improved and learned, but for now it is more words than actions as far as I can tell.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel that if you truly feel like you can let go and move on to a new relationship then yes. But if you literally are exhausted and it causes you more trouble ten you probably aren't there yet.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like you already learned your lesson. You know, smart people don't do the same things over and over and expect different results. A variable needs to change. He's clearly incapable of change. So get a new variable.

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  • I've done that with my ex but we both have addiction issue once gone I knew we had something great. I loved her a lot still do wish we both had our shit together so we knew the real issues. Do you love him still. Past can be over come with love and understanding. Love is a choice at times

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  • U can't forget the past but u can use the experience to make the future better

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