How long to wait around before he commits?

I met this guy a year and a half ago at work, and we immediately clicked. We dated for 4 months (April-July), but we weren't serious. I knew he wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship because he had told me prior to us ending the dating. He told me we should just go see other people and we would just see each other at work and be civil. He was fired a month after ending it, and he texted me a month after being fired asking if he can take me out to dinner. We casually dated from September to November until he texted me the end of November telling me that he made a mistake saying that we should see other people and he wants to put effort into us. At first I was hesitate on going back to him, but I really did like him. So its been about a month now of us being together. Things are definitely more serious than the first time we use to be. We go out to dinner, he spent a generous amount of money for Christmas which makes me believe he wouldn't do that if he saw me as more than a hookup. He is a full time bartender so I don't get to see him often, at least once a week (maybe twice) which I am okay with because I am a full time student and work part time so I am busy as well. The only issue I have is he still doesn't bring up the commitment aspect to us. He knows that's what I want, but I don't want to bring it up to him and pressure him like I did last time. We have an explosive connection, where I do think there's potential to him being a life time partner. I just need advice on whether I should stick it out, or if it sounds like he's still not ready to commit.


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What Guys Said 2

  • What exactly do you mean by commit? If you're just hanging around because you want somebody to put a ring on your finger, you should do him a favor and leave.

    • Commit by asking me to be his girlfriend, not his wife. Also known as exclusive dating..

    • This is the best answer here.

    • I don't really understand the need to ask someone to be their girlfriend. If you spend most of your free time together, and you are emptying his balls on a regular basis, I think the position of girlfriend should just be assumed.

  • Girl what the fuck do you want from this guy? Marriage? It sounds like you're in an okay relationship at the moment and there's chemistry. You've known each other a long time but haven't been together seriously for long. He's not going to get on one fucking knee and marry you and put a baby in you. Wake up.

    • Haha, I never once mentioned I wanted him to marry me. Commitment as asking me to be his GIRLFRIEND. So thank you, I am awake.

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    • I care so I am not sitting here wasting my time if he doesn't see me as a long time partner. Don't know why you have to come here attacking, if you clearly didn't read my question.

    • Just ask him. He probably doesn't want to be your boyfriend though. If he's a bartender. He's probably fucking half his customers.

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't see a problem with bringing it up. It's been long enough and no reason to keep wondering


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