No im just curious. Dating is not for me. I just want to focus on my business. Im so busy i barely have time to sleep. But over the holidays i keep seeing a lot of couples meeting up and going on dates and i tey putting myself in their shoes and i get a weird feeling. Like unnatural. Honestly relationships are scary for me. I dont know why and thats why i asked the question. Im curious to understand myself.
I know a couple friends like that.
Ok. So what do they say abou it.
First of all what is it?
“it” is they don’t date and don’t have any interest in it, one guy, one girl. If someone tries to fix them up they want nothing to do with it nor do they want to talk about it.
So why is that
I don’t know for sure but the both of them seem a bit squeamish about the opposite sex. If someone talks anything sexual the girl’s face changes and the guy draws a blank. I think sexual smells and the thought of sexual body fluids would make them pass out. Who knows maybe they will come out someday.
Hahahaha im not a lesbian. Thats not the case. Im just shy because im still a big kid.
I was only answering and describing my friends, because you asked me, I don’t know anything about you nor was I implying anything. Sorry I said anything. out
Thats ok. No problem
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I think 'friends first' is a pile of crap that insecure guys talk about because they don't have the balls to go after what they want.You want to get to know someone? You can't have a better opportunity to get to know someone other than going out on a date, just the two of you, no distractions and getting to know them!
@Kkaos Its a bit different then that, it was mostly the fact that i need to get to know someone well before actually being capable of loving them so it takes me longer to express love that way. Where i went wrong in the past and what i will certainly do differently in the future is that i didn't express that i really liked her and wanted to see if we could naturally grow in these directions. I was afraid that saying it to soon would either hurt her if i turned her down or would ruin my chances if she didn't feel the same way.But you are completely wrong in assuming its because i didn't dare to express what i wanted, since in the end i did but i did it to late. It also wasn't that i didn't dare expressing it to her, it was mostly inexperience to when to say it. As fun as dates are, it takes a lot more to actually know a person then just a couple of fun days out. Bonds develop over time and i need a strong bond before i commit to someone.
That's fair enough. Just keep going on dates, take things slow, and commit to someone when you're ready. That's what I do. It's not dating that's the problem, you don't need to love someone or want to commit to someone in order to have a casual coffee date with them.
Yeah makes sense.
@Kkaos I fixed that issue with myself when i discovered the true thing i have been doing wrong all along. I have been bonding with women and showing them who i am, but i have always failed to express what i want from her so i naturally gained nothing. Next time i will confidently express what i want from her in return so the relationship and bond naturally develops and i do indeed plan to start actively dating next year if my health increases again and this time i let the girl know in advance what i am hoping to get out of this full of confidence because i shouldn't have any issue expressing what i truly want from someone if i am being genuine to her.
Yeah, it's all a learning process. Have to go through some unpleasant experiences unfortunately in order to discover what works and what doesn't. All the best with it.
So guys have feelings too
We do, and personally i know mine can be very deeply rooted judging the bonds i already experienced and the love i shared.
So how do guys feel when their feelings are hurt? And what hurts your feelings?
I don't think getting your feelings hurt has any difference between the genders.
Oh ok. Im just so confusing. I dont understand anything. It sounds weird and excessive for me. Like why do people plan to fall in love. I dont think you can force. I just want things to happen on their own. Planning to get to know someone is weird because you cannot determine their perception of you.
Thats why i like the natural approach better of just having a genuine bond develop first trough a normal naturally occurring friendship and then deciding to move on from there. Dating is essentially a planned meetup to see if your compatible or not which feels more artificial to me so i agree where you are coming from, but it does eliminate the doubt if someone likes you and allows romance to develop much easier.
But if its not natural its forced and love cannot be forced so even if you know the person likes you, they dont know if you like them. So now the expression format has to ne artificial. Ah this is too complex. Love isn't supposed to be complex.
Its getting late, but looks like this is a fun subject to discuss in PM tomorrow if your up for it :)
Sure bro. Take it easy.
Ok what if she isn't attractive
Then I wouldn't go on a date with her in the first place.
Hahahaha thats funny but not nice.
Lol, just being honest.
Yeah being honest is very important even if things are painful i would rather face the painful truth so i respect your honesty. Its very important in life.
I agree. I don't really care if someone doesn't find me attractive anymore as well TBH. Everyone has different tastes.
So what would you consider a date in your opinion.
I don't know i think dating and a date are 2 different thingsA date is when you meet up with some oneDating is when you keep on doing it because you are attracted to a person.
So a date can be anything
I mean dating
Dating is going out with people you dont know or are unsure of
How does that happen? And there are places where people meet and date?
just haven't had a lot of luck with dating
Where are you that they go away though?
I meant dating.
Wow that totally answered my question.
Lol really woooow. For real bro?
Mmhmm as real as chocolate milk.
Damn it dont actually make me look up if chocolate milk is real or not.
Don't worry here's a spoiler they're totally real.And here's another spoiler chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows.
Hahahaha ok now i got you. Nice sarcasm bro.
Hey I'll have you know that I've seen chocolate cows on TV once or twice before.
Lol you're funny.
Oh austin behaaave
Lol ok ill stop there or i will just make a fool of myself.
But gud one
Wait what's wrong with looking like a fool? Haven't you heard of this thing called tomfoolery.
Hahaha No not again. You are killing me. I will have to search it again. What is tomfoolery? What era are you from?
How dare you! I'm only two years older than you. How dare you insult my honor with such slandering words.
Hahahaha oh come on now. I was joking. Dont be so serious bro. Im happy you know austin powers. At least im not the only one who likes old movies and songs. Everything was much better than.
Oh ok I was about to challenge you to a duel, but I guess that won't be nescessary.Austin Powers yes I like his style.
Ok cool. Austin is pretty funny. Which one do you like. The first second or third movie
I like the first one ever made. Cause the robot girls are pretty.
The one when that girl pulled an umbrella out of his ass. I think that might have been the first one.
Ahahaha they were in a tent.
The second is the spy who shagged me. The third is the gold member one.
My memory is hazy all the scenes kind of just gets mashed together in my brain.
Yeah me too. I watched when i as i was growing up but its still one of my favorite comedies.
All right hellacray cray thanks for the flashbacks. But im gonna hit the hay now cause its late where i am at. Have a good day or night whereever you are.
Oh yeah there were a lot of funny classic films. I didn't even realize the mask had adult references in it until I rewatched it years later.
Good night hellacray. Make sure to remove the mask when you sleep lol. Otherwise the terror is upon cameron diaz.
Somebody stop me
Lol i wouldn't know cause i haven't been on one. But tell me why is it scary?
Well, I've never been on one, either, but going to meet someone you've only ever spoken to for, like 5 minutes is just scary. It's a fear of the unknown. What if she's a serial killer, or something?
How did you meet her? And why did ypu speak for only 5mins?
I haven't really been on a date, but I've had offers, and just felt really nervous and just ended up not going out. I only spoke to them quickly because I was waiting for a friend.
Lol ok. You're only 20 thats why
Thanks for that. Do you enjoy the dating process?
I've never been on one
We are on the same boat
Cool. Does the process scare you, or would you happily go on a date with someone?
I find it weird. it seems like a lot of pressure. I dont know what to expect.
Its not natural
Yeah, you're right on everything there.. :)
Yeah i know.
What do you think about that online dating?
What online dating. How is that even possible. You never meet the person. Come on virtuali? Lol is this a joke?
Apparently it exists. Those creepy websites where you chat to people before you meet up with them...
Huh do you use those sites
Nah. I overheard someone at work saying she'd set up an account on one...
Hahahaha nice one bro.
Thanks :) Seriously, though. This girl seriously said she was setting up on some site, and I remember thinking "what dude's gonna want to meet her?". She has a bit of a reputation, I discovered after she left...
Well bro just because you dont want to date her doesn't mean other guys dont want. Othwrwise she would not sign up for it right?
Yeah, you're right there. But this girl had a reputation for sleeping around, and she felt like the world owes her something..
Lol bro i think you like her so you're a bit jealous.
Nah, She's not really my type. She's a smoker, which is a deal breaker for me...
Yeah, random, I know, dude...
I know right
Nice. You at any parties for the 'new year'?
No im a stay at home with my family type of girl and party with them cause my mom is wild lol.
Same here. I prefer to be at home, and not at some crowded, loud bar...
Lol no way? you're not that type of guy im sure.
Yeah, I'm that sorta dude.
Really lol? Ok dude. Enjoy family / bar time. Happy new year in advance.
Thanks dude :) :) And you! :)
It's alright :) Make sure you have a wicked time! :)
I am. We were dancing. My mom was killing it.
Cool. Sounds fun. Is your mum a good dancer, or a terrible one? :) :)
she's funny. Lets leave it at that.
OK. Sounds interesting. What about you? Were you busting any moves last night? :)
Yes of course. I love dancing.
Wicked. How good are you at it? :)
And how about you? Can you dance?
Did you bust a move last night?
My dancing is probably best viewed while 'refreshed', shall we say. And I didn't really bust any moves, as I'd had a big dinner and I thought after the first few cokes that I was gonna puke...
Oh damn. Sorry bro. Make sure to eat less next time.
Thanks for that, and yeah, I'll eat less next time. :) How's today going for you? :)
Slow. I stayed up late last night hence i woke up late and ate lunch now im back in bed Im planning to get up shortly and do something productive.
Sounds good. What you planning to do? :)
OK. I'll delete that last comment I made...
Ok thanks bro.
Really no way?
Yeah that’s how I’ve always been lol
I dont know you tell me