Does this ever work out?

So a friend got a woman pregnant. She’s like 14 years older than him, it was a drunken mistake and he doesn’t seem to like the age difference. He said he is going to try with her until he rules her out. He said he didn’t want to be with her a few weeks ago however they are trying to work things out because of the unborn child. However, he said that after he rules her out he and I could be together. She asked him if he wanted to try things or be a single dad, which I thought was kinda messed up...
So if he has no feelings for her, already has it in his head he doesn’t want to be with her and just trying to work on things because of the baby, how will it work out?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It almost never works.

    This is something that bothers me a little. I understand that until women have universal access to "pro-choice" options, men's reproductive rights shouldn't even be on the table, but I have the conversation about unwanted pregnancies before I ever get involved with someone. I'm not ready to be a father, and I'm not interested in having huge child support payments for the rest of my life for a child I may never get to see, so I don't sleep with people who aren't on birth control or wouldn't consider abortion or adoption in case of an unwanted pregnancy. I'll have kids when I'm ready, thank you.

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    • Yeah well she said she was but obviously turned out to be a lie. Even he thinks that she lied about it. He doesn’t really want the kid but she is keeping it because of her age and her previous 2 attempts. So...

Most Helpful Girl

  • "He said he is going to try with her until he rules her out. He said he didn’t want to be with her a few weeks ago however they are trying to work things out because of the unborn child." = He hasn't decided that he doesn't want to be with her yet.

    "However, he said that after he rules her out he and I could be together." = he is guaranteeing you will be there if things go so wrong her and/or the baby so that he still has someone to fall back on.

    "So if he has no feelings for her, already has it in his head he doesn’t want to be with her and just trying to work on things because of the baby, how will it work out?" = he hasn't decided to leave her yet and he may fall head over heels with the baby when its born.

    This seems to be a waiting game until either the baby is born and he sees how he feels about it and/or she just tells him to go and never return and that what he does.

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    • No honestly I don’t think that’s it. I don’t think he’ll be able to be with with her. He has already told me he doesn’t want to be with her. But he wants to try with her for the baby. He wants to rule her out before he and I maybe get together. I’m guessing that way he can say he tried it with her and it didn’t work

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    • Exactly. Look at what he does not what he says so much.

    • Yeah that night he was so affiliated on me, he looked like he was a lion on hunt, he was so far up my butt any closer it would’ve been sexual, he found any way to touch me and every time I would say that a guy was hot where we were he seemed to get jealous and/or mad. So what are you saying?

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What Guys Said 5

  • The chance of it working out are slim. There is no real prior relationship. What they had in common was alcohol and sex one night. Having this kind of relationship would take a lot of self control and serious thinking, which doesn't tend to happen with people who get drunk and have sex with people who are 14 years difference in age.

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  • I suggest not to get into the hole he has gotten himself into. It's not worth it & it will never work out since the problem has already started.

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  • Why would you like a guy like that? Red flag get out!

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  • He wants you and will ultimately come to your side

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    • That’s what I’m hoping. I feel like he does want me but it mustn’t be as much as I thought. Cause wouldn’t he already have made that choice?

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    • Not sure why so many people think that way but it does more damage then good to the kid because they can sense when there parents are unhappy and don't love each other

    • Exactly. That child is gonna feel the tension and the force in the “relationship”. They need to think what’s best for the kid. Because it’ll make the child miserable. I know this. I told him coming from someone (myself) that went through that, it isn’t worth it. My parents tried to do the same thing and it ended up us being moved to another state and a bunch of court issues. And he goes but didn’t you want to see your parents happy together? Yeah but the fought all the time. He goes true. So... I don't know. I just ask myself if he shows all these actions towards me then why hasn’t he done anything yet you know?

  • Good nice lesson.

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    • It's good to leave the child than to make life of his vulnerable by a parents with relationships like this. i say never. Get him on to court marry him. Or else take care of it herself or leave it to charity. If I really find them I am really gonna kill them and kick the girl for misusing the god's gift to give birth.

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    • Yes. Speak with her even you think alike it the baby my ask you where is my mama and my father left her because of you. What will you answer. It's true. We have to have children with whom we love. He loved you and had children with another. Your thing can be undone but the mother and child cannot be undone. I am saying it for clarification in her descion. Because the law will say your guy belongs to her if she says I love him in the court. Your guy is not correct you will know it in future. She seems like that she can do anything for him. Your guy said no regrets to a mistake! Do you still say we should not care about the mother and child. I support her. I know what it costs a girl to leave the one who she loves. So speak with her or L warn you to keep B. P tablets in jacket. Your sensitive mind can't bare it. I beg you to speak to her. Or else your guy belongs to the child and women accordingly to law.


    • I got amazed. How can a girl marry a father? Are you in senses? I call you selfish, If you don't speak to her. She seems like a bitch be careful with it. If you marry him immediately you will be able to get rid of it legally. take care of innocent child. I'm one alike the child. You have true love on him. If you lie anything in the question you asked you are selfish.

What Girls Said 1

  • Why would you even consider a relationship with a man like that?

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    • That’s not what I asked. And why not?

    • He gets drunk and sleeps with a random girl. He isn't smart enough to wear protection. This wasn't distant past. This is present. And you are willing to be put "on hold"?

    • Obviously. I’ve waited awhile for this. Most of it being my fault cause I never spoke up. However, shit happens and it is what it is. We’ve already talked a lot about this situation.

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