Could our little car adventure turn into something more?

I'm 23, and extremely shy. I decided to try tinder, & talked with one guy for about 2 months now. he was trying to get me to visit him at work. I was always got to shy. he told me he did want to do things with me, but I also explained that my ex raped me 2 years ago & now im scared to try sex again& only have made out before he told me thats horrible but promised he'd never hurt me like that. on Friday I finally decided it was time to meet him. we both live with people & he asked if we could do stuff in my car. I said why not but I warned him we wouldn't go all the way. in the car we just talked for an hour & he could tell how shy i was & thought it was adorable. he just kept trying to get me to make the first move & and let me feel safe first. we finally got close enough where we kissed, and he told me he was so turned on he then came over and pushed my seat back and asked if he could take my hoodie off. he was kissing and his hands were all over my body. he kept saying how sexy my body was & its better in person and us snapping has been driving him crazy for the last 2 weeks. he then moved my hand over his pants & said it's really big hey & he started moving my hand so I was rubbing it. he kept saying how good it felt. he pulled his pants down & I was jerking it & then he asked if id suck it. I got super nervous but I kinda wanted to try, & I did & he just kept moaning & saying how I'm so good at it & saying my name. I think he really liked it, I stopped for a bit to Catch my breath & he said damn I think I need to keep you around & maybe I should wife you up. before this happened I said I was nervous this was a one time thing. he said no, and joked saying ik where he works & lives & talked about hanging next weekend. he couldn't believe that was my first time giving head, and he kept complimenting me. Could this turn into something more? I'm thinking if he just wanted sex, he could have gotten a girl that would immediately, and not me who didn't give in
Updates:
plus I do trust him more now, because he respected my boundaries and I think if he was going to be bad like my ex. he could have easily done that in the car while we were all alone. I asked him to hang out new years eve (today) but he told me he had plans already, and we'd hang out next week. I'm going to visit him at work sometime this week, so we can have more of a conversation and see what Happens. I really just want something more with him
I just don't have any guy friends... and it's been 2 years since I've been with anyone and I've never had a relationship other than my ex.. I'm getting sick of being alone, and I did want to make out with him too. my friends have had like one night stand and they turned into relationships so I'm kinda hoping that's what's going to happen

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He wanted sex too much and too soon. If you and he really want a relationship to develop, then you need to lay off the sex for a while, and let the relationship form. Having been assaulted, you may be finding it easy to substitute sex for a relationship without realizing that is what you are doing. Go slowly, take your time. If he's not interested in going slowly, and respecting your needs, then he's not the guy you think he is, and not the guy for you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t have a good feeling about this at all. I think 2 months isn’t long enough to know if he has your best interest at heart. You seem very vulnerable and I fear you will get hurt. If I was a guy and a girl confided in me and then agreed to all that other stuff, I would have a hard time taking her seriously. I’d think I could get her to go all the way by making her feel special. I would keep your guard up and stand by what you say. In regards to him being able to get a girl who would go all the way, guys like the chase. If you say no to things and he tries to coerc you or beg you saying how he thinks you are so hot and won’t hurt you like your ex that is a red flag. If you say no and he drops it and still talks to you and hangs out with you then that is good. Listen to your gut. It’s always right.
    -Jacqueline

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What Guys Said 3

  • he's a narcisisst. Look it up on google. He will eventually devalue and discard you.

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  • Well you have got to do it at some point. I wish you a happy trip full with sex.

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    • I didn't read the whole story to be honest. Sorry about the rushed answer. If you are afraid don't do it. You should be relaxed when going with someone on a trip.

  • It could

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What Girls Said 4

  • He did get what he wamted though which is something sexual. And my bet is he will get uou to have sex pretty soon. Just because someone is not a rapist does not mean he's a good man or that he respects you. Please don't feel like you have to give your body to him just because he wants it or compliments you. A guy who truly likes you will change his plans for you or at least include you.

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  • I honestly think he may have just been horny in that moment... but I do think he cares about you. If he didn't, he would've not made plans with you and keep talking to you. Granted, I'm only a teen but I have been sexually assulted multiple times and I am sorry about your incident. if you ever need someone, I'm here.

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  • My fear here is that because of your bad experience previously you see anything that's not as bad as that as a good enough thing, even if it's not actually good, but just purely because it's not as bad as your previous experience. That leaves you quite vulnerable still and are open to guys using you, I don't just don't want you to get disheartened and thing that all guys are terrible if this doesn't work out. I agree with many of people e guys here that he was still quite pushy for sex, if he truly respected you there's no way he would have tried to push you like that before you were ready.
    Guys can still be dicks about it even if you made them wait, some just like to prove that they're up to the challenge regardless, plus there's no guarantee he hasn't seen another girl who gave it up easier while in the process of working on you (if that's his game - worst case scenario). I'm not saying he is that bad and I don't want you to think cynically at all as you need a healthy mindset for any really relationship to occur, but please just don't be too naive either, go into it with some wisdom so that you can formulate your own opinions based on what you see yourself. Good luck, I'm so sorry you had to experience such a dreadful thing previously, nobody deserves that, but I truly wish you all the best as you deserve to be happy.

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    • I have to say though if that happened to a friend of mine I'd advise her against going out with him again in any kind of situation where sex can occur. That's the first test. See how he acts when you just want to get to know him more instead of just having sex.

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    • Yeah it's because your bar is too low (no real fault of your own as you're having to learn the hard way through experience as many do). Just don't jump straight in next time until you've got an idea of what separates the more decent guys from the careless users. Ps. Sorry to hear that too as I know it sucks.

    • Just look at it like a lesson learned! At least now you know exactly what you don't want! And not all men are that bad, just make them earn it and you'll be fine.

  • I would stay away from this guy. He sounds dangerous. You can tell from the story that all he wanted was sex. It may seem like he cares about you now but he sounds like he doesn’t truly care about how you feel as long as he can persuade you into satisfying him physically. He sounds like bad news. I would suggest not to meet up with him again

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    • If sex is al he’s thinking about and talking about on the first/second date he’s bad news

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