She was a beautiful girl, exactly my type.
Smart, she had a degree,
Talented, she could play any instrument.
Hard worker, worked full time, got promotions, had a side business playing violin at weddings...
She was funny, cute, very caring on the surface.
We would talk a lot, and even text all night, about work or her life.
I asked her out, and she said she would let me know... Which I thought was a no.
But she continued to talk, I know it's corny but I could tell from her eyes she liked me, we just had that eye contact...
Anyhow she invites me to a party, but at this party she hugs a guy friend... I thought he was a boyfriend and was heart broken.
I stopped talking to her, and a week later she admitted to having a boyfriend, they were supposed to go to a party together but he bailed on her and she was upset.
I was upset too and we stopped talking.
She ended up breaking up with him after 3 years and dating a new guy a few months later.
I tried to talk to her a couple times for closure/wtf happened... But she didn't want to talk about feelings, but small talk or friendly talk was fine.
I really wanted closure, so I told her I'm sorry if I ignored her or anything, I told her I had feelings for her and gave her an option to talk about them.
She said it was okay, and declined to talk about them.
We just said well talk to each other later and never did...
That is what happened, I just loved her so much and I feel horrible for losing her in my life.
I feel like a complete failure, I feel so down, my confidence has been gone for 1.5 years and I just feel like a shell...
I just go to work and sleep.
It's been 1.5 years since she broke my heart, I know I'll never love again. But I can't even get a girl if I tried.
I'm so lost and don't know what to do.