What's wrong with me! Everytime a guy likes me, I end up hating him?

I've always been this way. I like a guy, but when i find out that he likes me back, I get put off. The only time I wouldn't get put off is he's out of my league or if I really love him. I don't fall in love easily so that's rare.

Lately this guy I thought was really cute seemed to be really into me and I just felt defensive and stopped wanting to be around him.

Why am i like this!!! I can't help it

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Most Helpful Guy

  • And this is the type of shit that kills all the fun in liking someone. So now I no longer date and avoid women. Inevitably you’ll step on hearts and really hurt people. After a few of these women, you stop wanting to be hurt. So now I will live my life alone.

    Good job ladies. Don’t bother to get your shit together so we can all wind up feeling like shit at the end of the day.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing. You just don't really know what you want and need to do. I understand how you feel because it's like a tug of war with yourself. Your overall being led by emotions of strong attraction. And you may like that feeling or not. But at the same time, your not OPEN to a relationship right now in your life. And you're torn because you want the experience, but at the same time, you may be AFRAID of the experience. Or, you don't necessarily look at it as an experience. But something to cherish and it shouldn't be fleeting. And you hate yourself for it. You have a conflict of the heart vs. mind, body vs. spirit.

    You don't know these guys. Your only looking at the physical, and they're doing the same to you. In a way, it is both a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing because you're not allowing that lustful ways and behaviors they display control or dictate what you secretly know is right for you. But at the same time, its bad, because if you found somebody whose genuine, your conditioning yourself to reject anybody who comes your way. If you don't want a relationship sincerely, then all you can do is handle this healthier. But if you do, then you need to figure out what are your fears and insecurities that are holding you back from forming a potentially good relationship. I know my reasons, but now you have to know yours. And it starts by asking yourself the right questions. By knowing yourself.

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    • Honestly this is the most accurate thing anyone has ever said. You're right about wanting it to be more than an experience. Wanting something I can cherish.

      It's really difficult. My body wants affection, attention and everything but my mind needs that to be sincere.

      I feel like guys that fall in love fast don't know how to cherish something like this.

      I feel like I'll keep looking for the one even though I'd be dating a guy if it was casual. Can only commit to someone I feel a true connection with. At the same time I want some experience because it's good to have experience. Until something sincere comes

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    • I feel like if they fall in love fast, they're falling in love wit the people version on me not the real me which comes out later on when I'm comfortable with someone.

      I know there's no 'the one', I meant someone special enough. I thought it's good to have experience so you learn more

    • Don't fall for that lie why you think a lot of people have relationship issues and marriage problems? Because they don't know how to truly love their partner because they chose to fool around with other people. You don't want to be that type of woman who experienced many men and now you don't know how to take care of the guy that you have or want. That how you becomes so conditioned. And why so many people have issues finding the right partner, due to their lack of assertiveness.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Because you don't care about love, you love the idea of it, for now at least.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Its a sickness really. You are going to have a miserable life unless you change your perspective. No offense but women like you are the ones who automatically assume a $400 purse is better than a $40 dollar purse. Or a $150 pair of jeans with a designer label are better than Levi's.

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