What do you expect to find on dating websites/apps?

It seems to me that the expectations of both genders as to what they find on dating apps is a little... optimistic.

Women complain about men who are thirsty and low value or somewhere on he autism spectrum.
Men complain about women that are flakes, never respond to their endless charm or are ugly.

Im sitting here thinking, all the genuine relationship material girls and guys are already in relationships or at least are surrounded by other eligible people in their lives already through work or social circles (although this is anecdotal).

So what type of people do YOU expect to match with you on a dating site? Why do you feel they should “choose” you?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have had relationships from them before, when i used them that is exactly the only thing that i was looking for, but there are so many desperate strange people that use them it hard to actually find something genuine and worth while, i'd never used one you pay for so i don't know if they're any better or not assuming they might be.
    I never expected to get chosen :P i just hoped i'd meet someone i clicked with, which i did but it didn't last and it did take many months before i found that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've used three websites. Never worked. BS to me. I thought I would fine her. But nope. Just crap. Wasting money on the net.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 22

  • I thought I would meet someone like myself. Similar background, similar education, similar values, similar interests. I know it can happen- my best friend is engaged to a guy she met off of a dating app. He was the fourth guy she talked to. I've talked to at least... thirty guys in the last year... and it's been a fail. So I'm off apps entirely. As for why I feel someone should choose me, well... I feel like there has to be somebody out there who wants what I'm selling. Lol. I don't think I'm that bad.

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    • 30 😱 wow that’s over one a fortnight... I know you mentioned it was hard in person, but there isn’t a single one who comes close who you interact with frequently?

    • I didn't go out with all of them, that's too expensive lol. I'm older than most of the guys in my class since I got my masters before I started med school. The older guys are either engaged, married, or married with children. My classmates are who I interact with most frequently, and so, it's kind of a bust.

  • The only reason I use them is because I lost touch with my early university and grade school friends and don't know too many guys my age that I find attractive.

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  • I want to meet someone with similar interests and passions. I would like to be able to have an actual conversation with a person about different topics.

    I can't respond to every guy that sends me a message. I just don't have the time or energy.

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  • People that have tried everything else already.

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  • Nothing it leads nowhere

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  • I've never tried it, for the simple fact that you don't always fall for your "type." And so punching in the 'perfect answers' into a site for your ideal woman/man is such a stretch for me. You simply cannot force the idea of what you think you deserve, sometimes its totally different to what you really need.

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    • Cracking answer 👍

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    • Yeah, I’ve never done it either #grewupB4Tinder. I just watch a few friends go through the whole rigmarole of it and end up nowhere. It’s like each requirement you add narrows it down exponentially.

    • And that right there is the problem with it... we all get so finical with our choices, that you end up narrowing it down to none. Because the sketchbook in your mind does not exist. When you meet someone authentically and fall for them, those flaws that might have excluded them on a dating site, suddenly become part of why you love them. Its not that I have it in for dating sites, I just think it makes us all very shallow, and suddenly every girl is looking for Channing Tatum, and every guy: Jennifer Aniston. This fake perception of what we want. Everyone logs in looking for supermodel looks, who went to Harvard and owns a Bentley.

  • I don't use dating apps, that whole thing is absolutely not for me, even though my best friends used it all the time when they were single (one of them is dating someone from tinder now).

    If I did seriously use tinder though I wouldn't have much expectations of the guys to be honest. I find it seems to be hard to get into deeper talks on tinder as far as I've seen when my friends are on it, after all many are just there for hook ups, not actual dating.
    Also I have noticed that whenever I go for my ultimate type (especially looks wise) he never ends up being what I need or good to me. I met my current SO drunk at a house party, I would probably have swiped right on him on tinder because blondes and me just hasn't been a thing (he's not unattractive don't get me wrong)... 😂 But here we are and he's so so much more than I could ever have imagined, it's just that when me met there was this instant chemistry which can be hard to feel over dating apps I think, but this allowed me to get past the "my type" thing.

    Normally when I meet guys all they see is the outer appearance and can't give two shits about my personality, which is disheartening to me because I have so much to say and I'd say I'm pretty down to earth too. Fortunately I managed to find it the normal way. But that isn't what tinder/most dating sites is about, since it goes almost purely by looks.

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  • Someone who is not completely ugly and boring would be nice.

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    • I take you to be a rational person (I think) ... so there must be *some* guys who are passably attractive and mildly entertaining? What stops you both from forming a relationship?

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    • Attractive looking people don't need an app to find someone to date.

    • Tbh Asker, most people are boring so I’m not really looking too hard if you know what I mean.

  • I can't download a dating app because my lerning disabilities and my college will not allow dating apps. I am met my boyfriend when I was in high suck online dating. More then one way to get a dude. PS I only want on a dating app called meet me just make friends didn't go very well. Lot of pissy guy's there.

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  • Some of the people on dating sites are exactly what you described! I had to pass by a lot of thirsty guys before I finally met the guy who would eventually become my boyfriend, and initially, I thought he was going to be like all the rest. But we kept talking and finally went out and we're very happy together!

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  • I feel like a man who uses a dating app is just want to fuck with anybody. So I don’t use it

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    • I’m guessing you’re already in a relationship, or know a few men who would make good partners?

    • Hahaha yes I’m in a relationship. But I have few friends who have dating app because of pussy

    • Ahhh makes sense I expect that’s the main reason for anyone tbh.

  • I'm thirsty lmao but so far have had 3 guys message me. One was so worried about why I stay home and the other asked me to close my dating account. Hmmm

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  • I think given my previous question dating apps where people actually pay for them are generally result in actual relationships whereas free apps like tinder results in hookups. It all comes down to the simplicity as well:

    a free dating app with which you can talk or meet with people with just a swipe of the finger would generally appeal more to people looking for a hookup because of how easy it is.

    A dating app for which you have to pay for, I was on eharmony, has a lot more features. It has a facility for you to fill out a questionnaire and then it matches you to people that would be compatible to based on your answers, it also shows a percentage for how compatible in specific aspects, like religious values, physical intimacy etc and that feature generally appeals more to people looking for something serious because they want something that lasts.

    So a straight answer to your question would be it depends on the site/app and the intention of the people using that site or app

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  • Dating sites are a waste of time. I don't trust them.

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  • I try dating apps but all the guys in my area have not been on those apps in forever!

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  • If I were to join a dating site and answer so many questions, I'd expect to find perfect matches. Why do I feel they should choose me? Because they read my profile and liked it.

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  • First of all i dont think its nice to label women on a dating site as ugly becauser i think a persons charm goes further then their looks. I see total opposites everyday. Guys are thirsty becrause wr live in a sexrually deprivating society. And the truth is everyone is going through a transitional phase where thetyd feel depressed and even being nothing more than a friend goes along way. There are also women and men who are lookingf for a real love relationship however they often meet the wrong guy.

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  • Horny dudes or people looking to waste your time. A. k. a nothing really.

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  • So ur. wife left you already, didn’t take long

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  • I never used dating sites

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What Guys Said 17

  • Disappointment at myself for thinking this was a good idea

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  • I went in looking for a relationship. 3 relationships, 1000 tinder matches and several hook ups later, I pretty much started using pretty much for my own personal amusement. Occasionally I'll still meet up with someone but she has to really stand out education-wise, morals-wise, etc.

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  • Seriously... Why can't women just relax and enjoy sexuality. They're all so serious and uptight about "casual sex" and that there must be love involved...
    Hello.. It's 2018 get over it already. Just enjoy life and its simple pleasures and drop the drama... No wonder so many men are just giving up on women and switching sides...

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  • Most of online dates are done either for a kick to do something new and exciting or when a person is really tired of meeting people offline. ... That's what I have realised and to be honest most online dates are really interesting as they try to work it out

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  • Girls have their pick of guys contacting them everyday. Women I find can be too picky.

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  • I expect to find messages not replied to and no matches

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    • Chin up fella, how’s the engineering job going?

    • Yeah really good thanks. I actually started at a new company in London on Tuesday. The commute is so much easier. How is yours going?

  • They should match with me if they find my physically attractive, and agree to meet me in person if we’ve been hitting it off and we both wanna see one another.(and one of us asks)

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  • Just a bunch of chicks looking for a quick ego boost.

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  • I've never had any great expectations, but I've found East Asian women (China and the Philippines) to be the most responsive on dating sites (I used one designed for Westerners to meet Asians), but although I made some very nice acquaintances and had some great conversations, I didn't meet anyone with whom the connection was so great that I felt was worth me flying there to meet. I've yet to meet a woman living in a Western country, including anyone local to me, using them.
    I'd like to meet someone with similar interests, and I think that, plus compatible personalities, philosophies, and values should be why we choose each other.

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  • It's true, most people who can be in a happy relationship are in one. But not all, and it only takes one. I started dating online after I got divorced. I mostly used match. com, which is a pay site, so at least the active members are serious about wanting to meet someone. This was before there were popular free sites like Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid, Tinder, etc. Sure, most of the women I wanted to meet were already married. But it only takes one, and there are some wonderful single women out there. I met quite a few of them when I was dating, and ended up marrying one.

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    • by "already married" I meant they weren't available (and hence not on dating sites).

  • Stay away from women with tattoos, their booty stinks. Something has to do with it.

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  • Diarrhea for sure

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  • Depression, mostly.

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  • Lots of text bubbles and weird irrational stuff.

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  • mirages

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  • nobody should choose me

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  • Honestly, I’m just trying to get laid. If i Fuck around and get a friend out of the Deal, that works too

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