Why does my boyfriend disappear during arguments?

He will just not replying to my messages for several hours. Sometimes, he will say “you clearly are not happy. So just break up with me”. But, that isn’t what i want. Also, sometimes he will reply to me the next day, acting like the argument never happened. This confuses me so much? This also frustrates me. I know he is using his phone though. Because he will use social media

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You clearly are not happy. So just break up with me" he's pushing you away before you have the chance to do so with him. It's a defense mechanism. Albeit sounds a bit like a pity party but it's mostly defensive. He probably just doesn't like confrontation.

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    • He has mentioned it so many times. Sometimes he says “ok we’re done”. And then I’ll say “if that is what you want. I understand”. Then he gets mad at me. And says “no, this is what YOU want”. Which is not true !!

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    • He gets defense when i try and say “x y and z happened. It made me feel hurt”.

    • Doesn't seem like he wants to fix problems, just avoids them and hopes they resolve themselves. Don't put up with bullshit

Most Helpful Girl

  • When I'm angry I tend to say things out of anger that I don't mean so I would usually ignore my partner.

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What Guys Said 5

  • He sounds like he's garbage at communication.

    Not much you can do there other than firmly explain to him how important proper communication is to you (and all healthy relationships) and if he's incapable of at least making the effort, then you WILL break up with him.

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  • Either he gives you time to cool down, or himself, or both. Mabye he just dont wanna say something he'll regret because the heat of the moment. And to be honest, who wants to resume an argument anyways?

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  • Most people have a fight or flight response.
    Maybe he’s a flight person - doesn’t like confrontation.

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  • He's insecure and has trouble justifying that he deserves to stay with you. This is a cry for help.

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  • He gives you time to cool down

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What Girls Said 0

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