I am not sure if he is just in a bad place. We got into a drunken fight on NYE and some hurtful things were said (i was very drunk and confused and not sure what i was saying. He told me i said things that i didn’t even remember saying). Anyways. I tried to get him to try again. But, i feel my efforts aren’t working. I love him a lot, and i messed up a lot and i wasn’t always the kindest person. He said to me “you are only wanting to work on it because I’m ending it. You don’t mean this”.
But i do mean it. Because i had been trying to be a better girlfriend and person (be less jealous and more understanding and stop trying to always be right). We were together 1.5 years. I am not sure if i should give him a few days to cool off, or to accept it.
Most Helpful Guy
Go an entire month without drinking. On February 1st, tell him
"I know that you thought I was only willing to work on being a less toxic person because you were ending it. I feel terrible about what happened and gave up drinking in order to become a better person. I'm still working on myself. Can we give this another try, because I miss you."
The thing you have to remember about our differences, is that men hurt less in the beginning of the breakup, and then a lot down the road. Women hurt a lot in the beginning, but get over it much quicker.
So wait the month, Valentines will be coming up, and he'll be missing you the most. Those are your ideal conditions.
In the meantime, work on yourself. Take the time to examine why you have been toxic, and work towards correcting that. Best of luck to you.