My boyfriend just ended the relationship?

I tried to ask him to try again. One last time. But he won’t accept that. He said “I’m sorry. All i see is the toxicity”.

I am not sure if he is just in a bad place. We got into a drunken fight on NYE and some hurtful things were said (i was very drunk and confused and not sure what i was saying. He told me i said things that i didn’t even remember saying). Anyways. I tried to get him to try again. But, i feel my efforts aren’t working. I love him a lot, and i messed up a lot and i wasn’t always the kindest person. He said to me “you are only wanting to work on it because I’m ending it. You don’t mean this”.

But i do mean it. Because i had been trying to be a better girlfriend and person (be less jealous and more understanding and stop trying to always be right). We were together 1.5 years. I am not sure if i should give him a few days to cool off, or to accept it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Go an entire month without drinking. On February 1st, tell him
    "I know that you thought I was only willing to work on being a less toxic person because you were ending it. I feel terrible about what happened and gave up drinking in order to become a better person. I'm still working on myself. Can we give this another try, because I miss you."

    The thing you have to remember about our differences, is that men hurt less in the beginning of the breakup, and then a lot down the road. Women hurt a lot in the beginning, but get over it much quicker.

    So wait the month, Valentines will be coming up, and he'll be missing you the most. Those are your ideal conditions.

    In the meantime, work on yourself. Take the time to examine why you have been toxic, and work towards correcting that. Best of luck to you.

    • We had both become toxic to each other. We had good times. But, there were ups and downs. The break up was sparked by a grievance i had. He took it as me implying he can never do anything right. Or he is always mistreating me. Which, sometimes i had felt mistreated by him. But, this one i brought up today was about how i felt ignored when we were at a friend’s house before the party. And, apparently something i said when i was drunk hurt him a lot too. So, he said “to prove to you i was with you for more than you thought. Let’s break you. Right now.”

      And then i spent the next hour or so trying to convince him to try again. I mentioned how our friend who saw our fight and has seen us fight. Said “if you love each other. You can work it out”.

      But, i left him with this message “i still believe there is enough love and hope for us. Let’s take some time and see if we want to start over. Please take care of yourself...”

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What Guys Said 3

  • This is out of your hands, it's not up for you to decide what your relationship is. Like it FUCKING sucks, but he made his decision. It's time to start the process of moving on

  • Give him a few days then go talk to him he should be over his mad spill. he may even call you.
    Chin up

    • He broke up with me, because i had mentioned how i felt he was ignoring me at a friend’s house while waiting for her to get ready. My boyfriend talked to our friend’s mom really enthusiastically, and then when she left and i tried to talk to him, he didn’t really seem he wanted to engage with me. I let this go so we could enjoy the night, and we talked and had a lot of fun. Then, we got into a drunken fight. Mean words were said and there was crying. He broke up with me by saying “you think i am always out here to hurt you. Or that i don’t truly like you. And you try and justify it these things you bring up. And plus what you said during the fight, ‘i am only with you because i need someone to marry me’. So to prove to you. It’s done. I can’t make you happy”.

      And then i tried to convince him to stay. It did not work. He seemed set in his ways. :/

  • Move on


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