Are there really some guys who women have to ask out and make the moves on?

I was on a New Years date with this guy. He told me that he's never asked any girls out, pursued them, and in fact he's never asked anyone to ever marry him. He says girls have asked him usually. I was the one that asked him out New Years and who started talking to him. Are there really guys like this? I've always been told if a guys interested he will persue you that you won't have to persue him. What are your thoughts? Anyone have any experience with guys like this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I recommend for all girls to learn how to both appreciate guys who are confident and behave and pursue you AND also, take advantage of paying attention to the majority of guys who don’t do that, and adjust.
    Girls have been conditioned to think they are to be noticed and appreciated, and if a guy doesn’t pursue you, well, he must not be interested. This is so far from the truth it’s not funny. It’s complicated because girls find guys who know what they want and confident to be sexy. On the other hand, the majority of guys who overtly approach and flirt on girls, well, it’s not personal, they are behaving that way as a habit and way of being. This is why so many girls say “I seem to attract all the wrong guys” what they are really saying, I wait to be noticed and approached, and the guys who do that, do it 24/7, and are jerks. To get what you want, anything worth getting, you have to work for it. Even if you are a supermodel

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex, who pursued me because I'm the most aloof human under the sun, told me he'd never have to actually go after a girl before since they all went after him. I remember taking him to formal that year and all the girls were immediately in love with him so i'm not surprised. But it's apparently true

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What Guys Said 24

  • So was he a fun date? Did he act shy and nervous? I do know of guys who never date, or feel comfortable starting and continuing an interesting conversation without a overloading from self esteem issues. So that is a yes. I actually think that girls are just as welcome to ask a guy out or lead a conversation to ease the butterflies. I think that the guy should take the reins after that, so as to not lose what self esteem and confidence they might have left.

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  • "I've always been told if a guys interested he will persue you that you won't have to persue him." - This statement is definitely false!! Certainly not with all guys.

    Myself, while I have asked out women, very few, and haven't in years! I'm ALL for women making the first move and honestly think they SHOULD! I think women and the relationships would be so much better if they did, because women are actually interested in the guy, not just going out with one because he asked her.

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    • We have all the same thoughts, feelings and insecurities women do, yet we're "expected" to make the first move. How fair is that? It's a pet peeve of mine actually.

  • "if a guys interested he will pursue you that you won't have to pursue him"

    That is as about as accurate as every girl will get a prince on a white horse. It's bs.

    Yes some guys are shy and don't want to ask women out. We aren't really that much different than you. Neither sex usually wants to do that. Women just get that privilege.

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  • Since we all learn that we must do this and that etc. Inorder to get a girl. Logic dictates that I'll be number 427 who approached the girl exactly the same way like the previous 426 guys. I stopped chasing girls/women 20 years ago and let them chase me. I'ved been in 2 Long relationship for the past 16,5 years

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  • honestly I would prefer it its nice to know a woman can decide what she wants and take it A nice change of pace and takes what is most likely the most complicated thing for us and makes it nice and simple

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  • Yes there are plenty of guys who don’t throw themselves at women. It might be because he doesn’t enjoy the chase, find those situations unenjoyable, or other reasons.

    Why should the man make the first move? Why can’t women ask men out?

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  • Eh guys usually are not like that. Usually they're the pursuers but occasionally getting asked out by a girl could be nice

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  • The higher quality men don't have to pursue women because women pursue them.
    I don't even consider myself a high quality man and I never had to ask anyone out.

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  • Im thr exact same as him but i dont get women chasing me. I dont know how to initiate, how do make the first move etc.

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  • If you don't mind initiating, initiate. Just be careful with Mr. Never Initiates. If he's into you, he needs to find a way to express that.

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  • Some guys are so high value that yeah, they get women approaching them all the time.

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  • I am like that or rayher became like that bcs of past experiences

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  • We all get tired of being rejected, hence why we stop chasing

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  • "are there really guys like this?" Dood U just dated one

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  • Does anyone here can relate this question to 'slut walk'?

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  • Some guys are too afraid to make the first move.

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  • Yes i am. the same

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  • Yes, we exist

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  • Hé stupid

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  • I'm a dude I usually don't persue

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