I got kind of drunk, and sort of wasn't being myself. I was nervous and was sort of acting uninterested at first because I have no experience in dating and have just came out of a 5 year relationship (6 months ago) . And because I wasn't sure what to chat about with him because we had talked SO much via text.
When we got home, I decided that he is kind of nice and I would see him again. And we had sex, he said to me that he liked me and thought I was 'lovely'. He told my friend this too the day afterwards. (oh and he also told my friend and her boyfriend that we had sex, which is kind of disrespectful)
Then the next day we briefly chatted and said it was a fun night. Then I asked what his plans were for NYE and got no response. My friend said I should maybe say sorry as I was kind of drunk at the club and maybe that was why.. So, I did and I said I was sort of nervous to him.
Then he replies saying that he thinks I am really nice, and nice to get to know me. but his head isn't in the right place for a relationship right now.
Like.. I am just kind of hurt as if I have been used. We were texting for 2 months and he seemed like such a great person, a lot in common.. He is 25, I am 21.
I feel so upset. :(
Most Helpful Guy
I understand you're going through a lot of pain right now. This man was a tool, I'm sorry to say. I dated my ex for 11 months before we had sex, she was a virgin. She even asked a few times and I declined, wanted to wait for a more special moment. If a guy wants you, he won't try and have sex with you cause he wants you to know thats not all he's after. Go out and try with another guy. Date and talk to new people. Or what makes me feel better (currently 2 weeks since i seperated from my ex) is working on myself. Tonight I was feeling bad and did 91 pushups and felt great afterwards. I know what you mean by texted so much you had nothing to talk about... 50% of my 2 year relationship was texting and i was mostly quiet in person and she hated that about me... i was most of the time just listening to her which i liked... you'll get through this. You learned so much from this, the pain is a learning experience if you want to look on the bright side of things. you're going to meet so many men who are better than him ten fold... i promise.
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Most Helpful Girl
I'm sorry he behaved that way. I'm not entirely sure why he did it, because talking to someone for 2 months just for a one night stand seems like a bit of a stretch. So in this case, if I were you, I'd maybe actually believe him. The date was messy to say the least, so maybe he just got scared and figured that he's not ready yet. I don't think he used you on purpose, like his intentions weren't to just have sex but he realized afterwards it's not what he wanted.
Just be glad that he realized that now, and not a few more months down the road. Also, maybe next time don't go to a club for your first date with someone. Getting sloppy like that on the first real meeting isn't exactly the best first impression. I don't think it's the only thing that made him pull away, and he might have pulled away later anyway like I said, but for a first date it's definitely not ideal.