Do you find it more difficult to ask out a friend or to ask out a stranger/acquaintance?

Between asking out a friend (i. e., someone with whom you're comfortable and on good terms) and asking out someone you don't know very well/at all, which one have you found or imagine to be more difficult to do? As in, which one would make you more nervous, require more mental preparation, etc?
Do you find it more difficult to ask out a friend or to ask out a stranger/acquaintance?
And by 'ask out', I mean ask to go on a date with you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I didn't really have much trouble except for my first few times. Other than that, it didn't matter if she was a friend or an acquaintance. I am 0 for about 900 through my life and only been on four dates- three of which just kind of happened and the fourth was set up by my aunt. I have never actually had a "yes" when i asked out women, two were strange answers : 'That's nice' in which she considered it a yes but i did not, she backed out the day of, while the second was : 'I suppose so. when she actually wasn't available (she and her boyfriend were on a 'break' but never officially ended it).
    I've since decided that it was not really worth my time to pursue.

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    • Hold on. You've asked out 900 different people in your life?

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    • I'm not super well-versed on this subject, but I do think that getting to know someone is a better idea, just because it gives you a better idea of how to approach them. I would appreciate getting asked out by a friend or someone who took the time to get to know me more than I would appreciate it from a stranger. But, then I'm weird, in that I think people should go through a friendship stage prior to a dating stage.

    • Okay i will keep that in mind

Most Helpful Girl

  • Definitely a friend, because the stacks are too high and there is so much more to risk.
    While with a strangers you can just walk away like nothing happened and you won't miss them if things went bad.

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What Guys Said 195

  • Definitely would be harder to ask out a stranger. You know the friend much better, meaning you know what they want and need and how to approach them, which is probably not be that obvious with the stranger.

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  • I'd say they're hard for different reasons

    Asking out a friend is hard because I'm worried about also losing a good friend. Also mutual friends fuckup if things go south.

    Asking out a stranger / acquaintance is hard because you have very little to base whether you guys would be a fit or not.

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    • That was my thought as well. I was just wondering if people consider one to be harder than the other.

  • Considering a friend with whom I am comfortable enough... It would be harder for me to ask a stranger becuae i will try my fbest tgat our riendship won't be affected if I ask her for a date... @Quintessence. What is difficult for you?

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    • Well, I've never had romantic feelings for a friend before, so it's hard to say. But, I do know that I have difficulty approaching strangers; I'm quite shy. So, hypothetically speaking, I think for me it would be harder to approach a stranger. With a friend, I'm more able to gauge their reaction and feelings towards me. And since I know them, I have an idea on how to best approach them, or if I even should. But, who knows? Maybe with feelings added into the picture, it'll become more nerve-wracking.

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    • Easy to say, when you've only seen my writing, but never heard my speaking. I'm nowhere near as talkative IRL as I am on here.

    • Yeah... I know that feeling... Here u can write paragraphs... but IRL the moment u complete one sentence... Someone will interfere in between and spoils the feeling... and then prefer to stay quiet... thinking... it would only lead to quarrel or unnecessary arguments... !!! @Quintessence

  • Asking a stanger out is really easy. If you ask and they so no I've lost nothing.

    Asking a friend out I'd risk losing a friend. I'm one of those who doesn't think you can be friends with someone you fancy. It's unfair on both of you if the feelings are one way. By the time I asked a friend out it would be a way stronger feeling them someone random.

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  • 6 of 1, half dozen of the other. Friends are easier to approach in general because you know them, but the sting of rejection is much more lasting because you have to see them more often. Strangers are harder to approach, but if you get rejected you'll probably never see them again so that pain is much shorter lived.

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  • I'd find it easier to ask out a stranger, simply because there's be nothing to lose even if I'd get rejected. But if I asked out a good friend and then gotten rejected, it would make things between us VERY AWKWARD and maybe even lead us to not being friends anymore...

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  • If it's for dating, a friend. Crossing that line and want to jump into the other is complicated and can result in the end of the friendship you got. With a stranger you take your risk, not caring much cause, it's a stranger, and there are thousands of strangers you can ask out,

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  • Stranger hands down. Because who cares about them? They don't know you so who cares ic they say no? Your intention is to get to know them better anyways. But for the friend is someone that has been in your life and matters. Asking them out can cause a serious rift in the friendship and although people maybe pretend everything is cool to be mature, both sides know it's different afterwards.

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  • I have an easier time asking out a friend because I've taken the time to develop attraction, and rejection is less likely than if I ask out a total stranger. If I ask out a total stranger whom I know nothing about, it feels like I'm shooting at a target blindfolded.

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  • I find it easier to ask out a stranger simply because I won't fear getting rejected. They will say no and it will be less stress than asking a friend out and than having the friendship be awkward whenever we hang out.

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  • Probably a friend. Like about equal, on one hand, it might be a bit easier for a friend because you know them somewhat, but on the flip side, you're also risking that friendship as well, at very least, things will be different between you.

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  • Well, there's potentially more to lose by asking a friend out, but you also have a much better steer on whether or not she'll say yes.

    I don't get massively intimidated by doing either, to be honest.

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  • I think it would be harder with a friend... Yep. Imagine urself asking out a stranger, even if he said no u could still talk to him tomorrow, it could be a start of friendship or u could even escalate things later, but if it was a friend i dont think i'll be talking to her again... Even if she said she wants to remain friend... Its just... different

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  • In my personal experience i believe its harder to ask out a friend given the fact you may not know if they simply would just want to stay friends and asking them out could ruin your friendship. Where asking a stranger may be easier because they are a stranger. Not a friend. You're losing a stranger if it goes bad

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  • Asking out friends, most of the time u will know it's will not be the same no more after u guys date. Going from strangers to friends then back to strangers again. Messing up a friendship is what I fear if we date

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  • Asking a stranger or an acquaintance is much easier because there is no attachments or investment whatsoever but while asking a friend out means risking the friendship and all the good memories together and might just kill the relationship between us. So being rejected by a stranger is okay compared to being rejected by a friend or even breaking up later because you will lose them.

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  • Asking stranger is straightforward easy for me than to a friend. I need much more thinking because it can change things drastically.

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  • It depends on how long you've known that friend for instance if you've known that friend for let's say 2 years it is going to be much harder for you to ask them out rather than if you've only known them for about a month but and another instance it depends on what kind of person you are because I don't have any problem asking out my friends

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  • Id say both. You could potentially end a friendship at the worst or just make things awkward at the least. But if it pans out, You'd have a great foundation to build a relationship on. On the other hand if you're self conscious then its probably going to be very hard to ask a stranger out. Unless you have had a few drinks, that might change.

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  • In terms of afraid being humiliated ask out a stranger/acquaintance is better decisions because if you he/she reject what we ask, we can just "ok, nvm" and not talking about it anymore until he/she became friend. And ask out a friend, if only he/she were not talk to much (i. e., when you doing some weird stuff, she/he were not talking about it to anyone) then ask out a friend then. This opinion is only in terms of get humiliated because she/he won't to go date

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What Girls Said 80

  • 100% harder to ask out a stranger for me.
    as with my friends i'd be more comfortable, though i've never really been in a situation where i've been sexually/romantically attracted to a friend, its either we go straight into dating or they're my friend, i've never had a in-between situation, so maybe i couldn't say for sure.

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  • I don't ask people out - ever - I let them know I like them not through words but through actions and behaviours and I let them decide what they want to do about it.

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  • For me it's easier to ask a stranger - there is a lot less that you can loose by asking a stranger (less fear of rejection). Only thing to contradict my answer would be if I have been crushing on that person for a very long time and overthinking the whole scenario which would make it way hard to ask.

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  • I find it difficult to ask anyone out 😂
    Asking out a stranger is probably easier as there's less risk. You're not connected to them and if they reject you, you never have to see them again. Where if you ask out a friend you are risking ruining the friendship.

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  • Go on what type of date? Like to be my "bf/partner"? I mean if i'm just asking him to go to a formal/party, my guy friends are definitely easier to approach.

    If you're asking about asking him to go out on a "offical date" then id also say friend... because that would feel weird and awkward for me

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    • Yes, a date in which by asking him out, you're making it known that you have a romantic interest in the guy.

  • I'd find it more difficult to ask a stranger out. I'd never just approach a guy , without knowing anything about him, and ask him for a date. I'd need to know him, even just a little, before I'd consider asking him out on a date.

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  • I'd put them in this order
    Acquaintance
    Friend
    Stranger

    A stranger would be the hardest because I don't know them at all, the others I do. But with an acquaintance you aren't attached to them yet but you still know them do it's perfect.

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  • A friend because that can ruin anything that you already have at least with a stranger/ acquaintance you don’t know that well and have nothing to lose than gain a possible relationship as where with a friend it’s a gamble of everything you two got already!

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  • A friend cause you might not get the same relationship you did before. Strangers aren't relevant to your life at the moment so it'll be easier but hard to approach.

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  • Asking a friend out is a lot harder. Because if you mess up you’ll still see them around sometimes and it’ll be much more awkward.

    If you mess up with a stranger, you’d just be like “okay! Cya!” And never see them again.

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  • I've never asked anyone out but I feel like it would be more difficult to ask out a friend since you know them and there's a more likely chance that you'll see them more often than if they were a stranger

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  • I think a friend is harder cause *true story* you can ask them out and they say okay and never speak of it again leaving you in silent agony for 3 years then tell you about other girls they're into though they know you're into them

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  • A Friend, Because If You Ask Out A Stranger And They Turn You Down You Don't Have Nothing To Lose And You Don't Have To See Them All The Time.. But With A Friend If They Turn You Down Things Maybe A Awkward And You Guys May Drift Apart Because Of The Shame

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  • When i start getting interest for someone i always like to get to know them better, looking for some flaws, just to not too idealise the person. If I had to ask someone to go on a date with me, no matter how much I care for a friend, I would rather ask a stranger. That friend probably means a lot to me when I'm even considering him. I would be so scared of his rejection and losing him.

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  • Thanks for asking this question!!
    I've always wondered because it seems like I get asked out more frequently by strangers but my acquaintances just seem to never strike while the iron's hot

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  • Strangers. I normally end up falling for my best friends, so I've gotten pretty used to proclaiming my love to friends. By that point of our friendship, even if they don't like me that way, they still love me so it still works out.

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  • Asking a friend makes it so your more certain they'll say yes bc you know them but I find it harder to ask them bc I don't want to lose a friend or make things awkward between us if they decline

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  • A friend, a stranger I can ask out and then brush off if I get rejected while friends it's awkward if there is a rejection no matter if your the rejectee or the rejector

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  • Both are equally hard for me. I'm nervous I'll embarrass myself. The last time I asked a guy out he completely cut me off and avoided me for months. Didn't think it was that serious but okay.

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  • It's definitely more difficult to ask a acquaintance out because you don't know their personality and you are not comfortable with them.

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