Thoughts on dating an Atheist (non-believer)?

I grew up Mormon (LDS) and I went through a faith crisis (which ultimately led to me to disregard the idea of religion in general).

The ironic thing is that at my college, Brigham Young University, Utah, dating is so hyped up that people sometimes get engaged only after a month.

But, I've struggled in terms of pursuing a serious relationship with girls here because I know that I don't plan on staying LDS after school, and I wouldn't want to knowingly be deceptive on that front.

I'm just a simple guy tryna graduate, and I'm not interested in picking religious battles with anyone (too much work).

TL;DR:
Is it just a Utah thing, or is someone's lack of belief a deal breaker when dating?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually started going to LDS at age 12, I still go when I’m home because my mom and stepfather are very active but I want to take my name off the registry. I’m dating a non-denom Christian and it’s not a problem because I respect his beliefs, despite not sharing them. I wouldn’t date anyone at BYU if you don’t want to date a girl who expects you to stay in the church and marry in the temple, because right now everybody has been talking in my ward about how “it’s okay to date a non member but remember they’ll make it tempting for you to stray” yadda yadda yadda. Utah in general is really devoted to Mormon beliefs, and since it’s the central place I’d say they’re a lot more strict about religious differences.

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    • Yesss!!! You're preaching to the choir rn!

      There's so many gray areas when it comes to groups of people that don't fit the ideal church member definition. For example, we are not discouraged from having doubts but, for some reason, people eventually expect you to have a great conversion story, and get to where they're at. (This makes the choices on makes pointless if the result is the expected to be the same in every case).

      Thanks for your insight. It's always refreshing whenever I meet someone who evaluates a person independent of their beliefs. (In this specific context.)

    • Exactly, it gets hard to navigate! I’m always glad to be helpful.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are in a religious Mecca so to speak. There are plenty of atheist/agnostic people out there that will accept your views. Sadly though, I think you are in a bad situation for dating when all the girls are religious. I commend you for not wanting to be deceiving and pretend to be something you aren't just to date women. Go online, or out of state to find someone.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • It definitely depends on where you live. Religion is definitely a bigger deal in more conservative areas, where regions with more liberal viewpoints will be a lot different and generally more accepting.

    Also the type of area you live in (metropolitan vs. rural, big vs. small) will certainly play a role as well.

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  • It's definitely where you live. Here in Melbourne, Australia, most of the people I know are either non-religious or just non-caring/non-practicing Christian. It's more of a oddity to see a legitimately religious person. I feel like it would be similar in certain metropolitan areas around the US, eg. NYC, California, Chicago etc. where there are more people that share your beliefs.

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  • Thatvisnt just a Utah thing. I wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with someone who didn't hold at least similar beliefs as I do.

    At any rate, good luck next semester, and good luck in the dating efforts.

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  • I'm Christian and would not date a non Christian.

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    • That's fair. But, if the person has the same (moral) values as you do, what is there to be worried about?

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    • I've never thought of it like that. I actually enjoy Christian music, I listen to Hillsong, Lecrae, and I'd attend church with my s/o because there are services that are fun!

      One of my sisters is very religious, but we've found that there is so much that we have in common besides being Christian.

      We talk about anything really, even conversations about how God blessed her on that day.

      So, I know it's unconventional, but I think it could work.

What Guys Said 5

  • Most of the people I willingly associate with are atheist. You may want to use the term “non-indoctrinated” rather than “non-believer” too many people think faith is a virtue.

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  • It ultimately depends on how close their relationship with god is. If they are deeply religious, that is a deal breaker.

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  • Atheists are becoming more common, and most of my friends are non-believers, or light practicing Christians. We're all human.

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  • I would avoid it, but it's not off the table.

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  • Don't bother

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