Is it normal to mostly attract men who just want sex?

I don't think I come off promisuous in any way and I'm not putting out sexual vibes. I've had people tell me I'm kind of innocent.

But I keep attracting men who just want sex. They're super nice and interested in me in the beginning but after I tell them I'm looking for someone who wants more than just sex they back off.

There is a guy who I think is everything I'm looking for; he's handsome, helpful, kind to everyone, funny, he's going for a job he wants and doesn't just think about money, he cares about himself and his appearance. He has goals and plans for the future. He's not obnoxius. I had a serious crush on him! But then I found out he doesn't date black girls (he's Guatemalan) so I don't have a chance there. But he's the type of guy I want!

Yet I have a guy in my heels now that wants to have sex with every female he finds, he's arrogant and is a lazy worker. And he tells me my expectations are too much for my age and that I need to lower them if I want to find someone.

I want to stop attracting men like that and more like the guy I'm totally in love with.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, kudos for having high standards and expectations.
    Probably 99 guys out of 100 are just interested in sex or a casual relationship, and when you tell them up front that you're looking for more, they aren't willing to commit to that. Don't be discouraged because of that. High quality partners of *either* gender are difficult to find.

    As far as your crush, I don't know him or his principles, but I wouldn't give up just because he doesn't like black girls. I typically don't date black girls, either, but I've known a few over the years who were among the most elegant and dignified ladies I've ever known who I would have dated given the opportunity.

    So my suggestion is this: Be yourself and don't compromise or lower your standards. Put yourself out there so that decent guys can find you, and don't hesitate to shut down these guys who are skirt chasers. You'll get a reputation for not being 'typical,' which will help catch the attention of the guys you like.

    And just to be clear, the guy who told you your expectations are too high is just trying to get you in bed so he can add you to his list of conquests. Forget about him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It’s normal

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What Guys Said 11

  • Well I would have to say probably your beautiful that's your first strike, second strike, you're probably friendly, and third strike have you ever heard of pheromones we all put out a scent and I have to say yours is probably pretty good so it almost doesn't matter what you do men are going to be drawn towards you.. even women

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  • Well its totally normal.. Lots of men and women spend a part of their lives searching for sexual partners or friends with benefits and spend a good time living like that until they decide to just settle or they just dont ever wanna commit in a relationship.. Its normal

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  • All men want sex. Some just have little control over their impulses. The instinct of man is to breed. We've evolved as a species but that instinct is still there whether we realize it or not.
    It has nothing to do with you.

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  • You can't help who you attract, it's them being attracted to you, not you to them.
    Not really sure on any advice to give, I don't really think there is anything you can do except get your intention across straight away.

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  • You have to work on your mind. The way you think about your life, your appearence, the way you feel other people. And let me tell you, if a guy tells you that he doesn't date black girls or white girls etc. don't date him at all. Not only because of racism, but also if a person looks at things only from one way, he or she won't achieve anything valuable in life.

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  • Most men like innocence, including the men who just want sex. The difference is those are the guys who are better at approaching girls because they just tell them what they want to hear

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  • Yes it’s normal.

    If you’re not getting any men wanting more it’s an issue. But you will always have more wanting just sex

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  • It depends on where you're meeting these guys. If you're meeting guys at the bar or club, they'll likely be interested mostly in sex.

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  • Yes a lot of us men are like ravenous vultures sexually speaking

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  • Your past record is bad so you will never attract good men.

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  • Yes it is if that's all you really have to offer...

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What Girls Said 0

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