But I keep attracting men who just want sex. They're super nice and interested in me in the beginning but after I tell them I'm looking for someone who wants more than just sex they back off.
There is a guy who I think is everything I'm looking for; he's handsome, helpful, kind to everyone, funny, he's going for a job he wants and doesn't just think about money, he cares about himself and his appearance. He has goals and plans for the future. He's not obnoxius. I had a serious crush on him! But then I found out he doesn't date black girls (he's Guatemalan) so I don't have a chance there. But he's the type of guy I want!
Yet I have a guy in my heels now that wants to have sex with every female he finds, he's arrogant and is a lazy worker. And he tells me my expectations are too much for my age and that I need to lower them if I want to find someone.
I want to stop attracting men like that and more like the guy I'm totally in love with.
Most Helpful Guy
Firstly, kudos for having high standards and expectations.
Probably 99 guys out of 100 are just interested in sex or a casual relationship, and when you tell them up front that you're looking for more, they aren't willing to commit to that. Don't be discouraged because of that. High quality partners of *either* gender are difficult to find.
As far as your crush, I don't know him or his principles, but I wouldn't give up just because he doesn't like black girls. I typically don't date black girls, either, but I've known a few over the years who were among the most elegant and dignified ladies I've ever known who I would have dated given the opportunity.
So my suggestion is this: Be yourself and don't compromise or lower your standards. Put yourself out there so that decent guys can find you, and don't hesitate to shut down these guys who are skirt chasers. You'll get a reputation for not being 'typical,' which will help catch the attention of the guys you like.
And just to be clear, the guy who told you your expectations are too high is just trying to get you in bed so he can add you to his list of conquests. Forget about him.2
Most Helpful Girl