Why is he avoiding answering my question about the status of our relationship?

So there's this guy I've been knowing for about a year. We only hook up from time to time & have never dated. Just a week ago i visited him, but had to cut my visit short because of an emergency. Right before leaving he hugged me & kissed my forehead. Shortly after i left him, he text me to say that he was missing me already. Im confused smh.
Sometimes he jokes about me hooking up with other guys too.
Just now i text him to ask exactly "what are we doing?" No response & it's been over a hour ago. What isn't he answering my text?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because he knows what you want to hear, but can't tell you that.
    Honestly - and you won't want to hear this, but it's a good thing. He isn't lying to you at least.

    Don't pressure him cause you'll lose him quick. If things are going good let them. If you're looking for something more, like commitment (and don't ever use that word, it scares guys, use something like "exclusive" they mean the same thing)
    Anyway if you're looking for more and he's not at that point yet then you decide to either wait and remain positive, or move on. Don't feel bad about it and don't dwell on it either, if that time comes don't give him an ultimatum. Just inform him you're interested in meeting new people. He may at that time take a closer look at your relationship together and decide if he's going to do something about it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • how about try communicating i your communication? that was pretty vague &cryptic as if written by someone who isn't ready to talk seriously. which will dissuade him if he wants to and encourage him not to if he doesn't.

    just tell him what you want exactly, and if he doesn't want anything, leave it.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I'm not sure what his circumstances are but in my experience (admittedly from doing this in the past which I am now ashamed of) there's a possibility that he's stringing you along. Wants something physical but maybe have other commitments if you know what I mean. Like I said though, I don't know his circumstances so that could be incorrect.

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  • It's only an hour!!! He might be stuck in traffic next to a police car, or in the bath, or in a meeting with his boss. Don't chase an answer. if he hasn't answered by this time tomorrow then call him.

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    • Just seen the percentage splits between men reading this and women. Ladies how can you be so pessimistic? 1 hour... seriously? lol

  • It could possibly be that he feels comfortable where he is right now between y'all and maybe doesn't want to ruin it

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  • He probably hasn't answered cause u made the question wrong. You have to tell him : hey I am interested in knowing what's going on between you and me cause I feel this romantic conection with you but don't know if it's one sided. In others words... BE STRAIGHT FORWARD! 😂

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  • First of all, what do you want out of this? Do you want there to be more? He may take that question the wrong way. Just asking "what are we doing?" may sound like an aggressive question to some.

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  • well he is either 1. scared or too nervous to hop into something or 2. he doesn't know how to express that he doesn't want to date

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  • Your question is too vague he is probably not sure what you are referring to.

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  • "What are we doing?" Well we are going to the movies next week.
    That doesn't seem like asking a question about your relationship.

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  • For me the third option is I have no fucking clue. It's very confusing and I hope you get an answer.

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  • He could be not Interested maybe start asking him questions.

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  • Wait longer he could be busy or not have got it or is thinking of what to say

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  • Most Likely don't want a relationship but likes you sounds like

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  • He's either busy or avoiding. Sounds like he wants more.

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  • Wait more than an hour before unrest

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  • Maybe not interested but I can't speak for him

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What Girls Said 8

  • If a guy is interested in you he will make you aware if it. If you texted him asking him that and its been a length of time he may be tied up. Secondly some people like to talk about serious things in person. Wait and see what he does or says but if it takes awhile or if he avoids the subject cut him loose. He won't make you guess, or wonder.

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  • Omg is this my mom? she's goin theu this exact same thing. Literally everything u just said but her guy is newly divorced. Ima tell u like i told her, he's not lookin to commit. He just wants to be friends with benefits. He specifically told her he's not ready for a relationship but doesn't want to be alone. However he confused her cause at the end of that sentence he called her “baby”. Dont let this guy mislead y'all. Its happened to me before too but theyre no trying to commit

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  • It's possible that he didn't even know what you meant- "what are we doing?" is kind of vague. I'm not sure I'd have any clue what someone meant if they asked me that, without providing any other details. So it's possible that he's just confused. Also possible that he is busy and simply hasn't had a chance to respond. Other possibilities: he's actually not sure what your relationship is or what he wants. Or he knows but he's nervous to say, either because he's worried it'll upset you or worried that you won't want the same thing.

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  • Uhh maybe he is busy! Or just thinking On what to say

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  • He doesn't sound interested. It seems you're friends with benefits.

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  • Guys hate talkin bout stuff like that

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  • Not interested

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  • Because probably you are not in a relationship

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