Why do guys give such crazy mixed signals?

Like when a guy says he likes you and wants to date and meet your family but also doesn't want it to get to serious.

Or treats you with care and respect in person but after he lives he won't talk to you for 2 days and when you ask he says your clingy? It's just confusing and honestly a turn off. Plus they say you're the confusing one! 😅 You think y'all could fill me in?

Updates:
Him and I were friends with benefits on and off for over a year. No emotional connection besides lust, well from my end. Then a few months back he comes outta nowhere and wants more. I didn't, I thought it'd be messy and stressful. I enjoy the single life. Well he started showing me that he wanted more then sex and wanted an honest relationship. Well I thought why not? But then I probably messed up by not being emotionally available myself... when I told him he shut down. But now I know what I want...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is responding to your actions. You are obviously rushing things and he wants to take it a little slower than the pace you are setting.

    The talking thing.. sometimes we are busy. Life comes first.

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    • Look we were friends with benefits on and off for over a year. I never felt anything but lust from him. Then one day out of nowhere he says he wants more, says that he wants to show me he's not in it for sex etc. Me being me, I'm like that's a bad idea, I still didn't like him like that. But he wanted to show me and he said he'll keep coming back even if I don't want him to. Now I feel like the roles changed. And i personally feel turned off and confused.

Most Helpful Girl

  • b none if that stuff IS serious. it feels good in the moment but its nothing you ant check out of. he wants the fun & intimacy of a relationship with an exit key.

    itys not mixed. its just there are these odd symbols of convention where you do such & such when its at a certain level, but really you an do anything at any time independent of levels.

    he's saying he likes it now but doesn't want to have to e obligated to continue it if he doesn't like it anymore. which is what dating is. you try all these things and play at relationship and it other works or not. if you just want to date as well there's no problem here. if you want something more committed then you guys are not suitable.

    HOWEVER, I wouldn't persue things if he's disrespectful. wanting to trey things out is one thing but playing hot & cold is not part of that. he's just being a shit head.

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What Guys Said 25

  • The term "emotionally unavailable" comes to mind but when said out loud most women say "fuck does that mean?"
    It means he likes you, and probably genuinely, but he ain't ready to be in a relationship.
    Seriously, he's not.
    If he was he would be taking those steps with you. I don't know his full story but it sounds like he's keeping his options open. Still looking around.
    He might only be looking to date, and remember when people use the word date (which is open to interpretation these days I think) dating means dating (actively and with multiple people). This used to be called "courting"
    Where the term "going steady" now is referred to being exclusive. But people don't really say these things anymore they are just assumed at some point. So your interpretation most likey got crossed between dating and being exclusive which freaked him out cause he's (*ding ding ding) emotionally unavailable.
    I say don't talk to him and keep your own options open. Let him come to you.
    If he does but you get the feeling he's only playing it for the physical fun then Id just stop answering. You don't owe him anything.

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  • We're not giving signals at all.

    You're overthinking everything and trying to infer deep truths from insignificant gestures that don't mean anything.

    You know why men sometimes go two days without talking? Because we don't have anything to say! Do you have something to say? Then SAY IT! And maybe we'll have a conversation.

    Also, guys don't go through massive mood swings every six hours, so if a guys says he loves you, that's how he feels, and if he doesn't say it again, it's not because his feelings have changed, it's because they haven't. Your last update is still current.

    We don't feel the need to constantly repeat ourselves or talk just to fill up the silence. Sometimes we really like a little solitude. Before you came into our lives, we were loners, living on the edge, not tied down to anything, with no roots and no stake in the world. That's what it means to be a man. We're not connected to the world automatically, we have to go out in the wilderness and come back with something to earn our place. A woman already has her place, she was born with a place. A man has no place in the world unless a woman takes him in. And he had to earn it through years of struggle and sacrifice and by winning battles that nobody else even knows about.

    Living that kind of life gives you a lot of memories in a short amount of time, it's not like living a safe, quiet life where everybody always caters to your every whim, protects you from any hardship, and everything is always magically taken care of.

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  • Im pretty sure its the other way around. Girls are the ones that give mixed signals. If a guy wants you, you'll know. Or vice versa.

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    • The point I'm trying to get across is one moment I think I know what he wants but when I say something wrong he just clamps up and changes.

  • We live in a society where men's thoughts and feelings are second in priority to women's in dating. It sounds like you want a full relationship on the first date and he wants to know if you are a good fit before he wants a relationship. Consider his feelings as much as you want yours considered.

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  • Because girls like to read more into things than they should instead of taking it at face value.

    Guy: I'm hungry.
    Girl: *thinks of 1001 he could possibly mean by saying that EXCEPT that he's hungry*
    Girl: Why are guys SO complicated?

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  • Women just don't understand men; once this girl in my class said men were complicated, and I said a dude's mind is like the genetic mass of a tomato, just to mess with her; This is what that metaphor means, tomatoes contain more proportionate genetic mass than humans but they have a very simple genetic structure

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  • I think you are both worried individually, you wonder if your partner is gonna make you or break you. But at the same time, you can't find yourself but be attracted to each other because you both feel the same way.

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  • It sounds like he's testing the waters. He wants to be with you but doesn't want to come across too strong so he throws things out like that just to see how you react. Your reaction will determine how he plays out the rest of the convo or situation.

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  • Because ur dating an ex fuckboy who never loved and has no self control, it's obvious :v u picked the wrong guy, srsly, who would fall in love with a FWB? Dats why i hate hooking up : P

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  • He's either playing games or you are misinterpreting the direct comments. The former you should ignore completely, the latter you should not interpret. This all depends on which guy is which type.

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  • That is a very difficult move from being friends with benefits 2 dating and developing a healthy relationship. It's completely natural for both parties to experience confusion about the relationship.

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  • Ask yourself why do women give such crazy mixed signals... I'm thinking it's the same answer... when you figure it out tell the world, cause we all want to know!

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  • Mixed signals by you both means a messy affair. Do a reset and re-evaluation if you want to make it work. Otherwise, enjoy the blender.

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  • Wherein lies the mixed message?
    Everything you've written is perfectly linear.

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  • You two were friends with benefits. Thats the problem there. Both parties cannot develop feelings, if one does, cut it immediately. If he left it was because he probably got another woman beside you. He thought things would go good and things backfired so he went back to you and is bullshitting you with the whole feelings crap simply to keep you there.

    Source: i went through the same situation. I was being confused by my friends with benefits. She would leave and come back. Tell me she liked me, etc. Then once she would leave, she would go talking to another guy she wanted to go out with. She obviously faked feelings to get me closer but i caught her little by little that this "like" was bs.

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  • It probably means he liked you first, then stopped liking you for some reason

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  • Really? I thought it was the other way around. At least from my experience.

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  • Because I hate you! But I really really love you.😘

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  • He start catching feelings the sex and your personality is a plus

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  • That's girls jobs not guys

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  • Sounds like you were also sending mixed signals

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  • Why do girls do it?

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  • Because our brains works differently 😂

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  • It's the same way with girls

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  • Because we're gay

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ignore men. They want to drive you out of your mind so they can call you crazy.

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    • Naww just the ones that you deal with are driving you crazy

  • I think when guys say 'don't want to get too serious' girls perceive that as NEVER wanting to become serious, they tend to just think he wants to take me for a ride until he finds someone better, so they write him off. Guys if what you mean is you just want to take things slow, then plenty of girls want that too, just just have to make it crystal clear!!

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