Who has more tools to use in attracting a partner of the opposite sex, men or women? Why?

I believe men have more tools than women in attracting a partner of the opposite sex. Besides appearance or looks, what can a woman reliably stand on to attract men to her? Likewise, if a man isn’t good-looking or is deemed hideous, he can rely on his personality, character, charisma, status, job, kindness, etc. in securing a mate.
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  • Women
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Alright, first and foremost, appearances aren't the end-all-be-all for EITHER gender. One can compensate for appearance with other traits, and this holds true for both genders.

    However, I do agree with the notion that, for a woman, it is more difficult to rely on non-appearance-related factors. In general, women have to work harder to rely on these factors or need these factors to be better-polished to use them effectively than a similarly-situated man would.

    However, a woman has more "tools" at her disposal when it comes to appearance-related factors than a man does. Clothes, make-up, even surgical enhancements are far more available and geared towards women. To that end, even if a woman is sorely lacking in other departments, she has more tools inside her appearance toolbox than a man does in his. AND, it is much easier for her to use these tools to enhance her attractiveness than it is for a man to enhance his using the tools in his non-appearance-related toolbox. Charisma and salaries are harder to change than outfits, after all.

    That's the first part of my food-for-thought spiel. The second part is this:
    Regardless of who has more tools to use in attracting A partner, the amount of tools necessary to attract a QUALITY partner are definitely closer to equal for both genders.
    If a man is relying solely on his social status to attract a partner, sure, he will attract A partner, but will that be a QUALITY partner?
    Likewise, if a woman is relying solely on her looks to attract a partner, sure, she will attract a partner, but what could be said about the quality of said partner?

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    • I like what you said about quality partners, a few days ago I was in a conversation about a what makes someone a quality partner. A female was going off about there being no quality men, etc. etc. etc.

      After a while I got tired about her ranting, and asked her how she seriously expected to get a quality man when she was not a quality woman.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Men have more tools. He can be funny, nice personality, super confident, high social status, good job, etc...

    Women have their looks and that's what men care about. A guy doesn't care about her social status, what kind of job she has, whether or not she's funny, etc..

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What Girls Said 28

  • I think its about equal actually but its done in different ways, because obviously men and women are attracted to different things.

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  • So a girl has no dating value if she isn't hot? Guys aren't attracted to intelligence, wit, humor, a bubbly personality?

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    • Not nearly as much as women. Also, those things have singularly attracted women, whereas the reverse is not true.

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    • iam asking a simple question, are their gfs hot

    • Either way, the reason why these differences exist is biological in nature. It’s not merely false opinions, but observations about how and why men and women choose their partners.

  • So are you saying a woman can't use her personality, character, kindness, charm, self-confidence, maturity, etc. to attract a partner, and she can only rely on her looks? wat?

    I personally don't think there is a specific gender with more tools to attract a partner, but I do think it all comes down to the character of a person.

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    • All I’m saying is that, I’ve never heard of a woman use her personality or status to get a man, ever. Biologically speaking, this is a fact. It’s a fact that men do not choose women for those reasons, but for appearance and youth. That’s why women wear makeup and try to dress more youthful.

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    • @bookworm234, You should reread my comments. You’ll find nowhere that I’m telling women what they should and shouldn’t wear... Do you even know the argument or point I’m making?

  • Women can also rely on personality, intelligence, wit, humour, clothing, hair, jewelry, natural makeup, good skin care. A mature man will be attracted to more than what's on the surface. Plus women have shoes!!

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    • I’m talking about the majority... also, throughout history and biology, my belief has been true.

    • A man will see a woman he finds physically attractive and be interested in her, but unless she suits him personally and emotionally as well, the interest will not remain.
      It's very uncommon for a man to be interested in a woman he doesn't first find beautiful. And the same goes for women as well to a certain extent.

  • Girls have these big standards where they have to dress in a certain way and look in a certain way and having to be in a "perfect weight" but for guys it's like they don't have to be too ugly and have a girlfriend or whatever lmao

    And i kind of blame men (NOT ALL OF THEM) for us having to be like that otherwise we won't go anywhere in life rofl

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  • Men go further than just looks, My friend is dating an ugly chubby girl. Explain that

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    • Well, explain homosexual people then... You can say that the natural order of things for men having sex with a woman to make another human being, but there are undeniably homosexual people out there. It doesn’t mean the formula for producing offspring doesn’t exist. Likewise, just because you find outliers, doesn’t mean that it negates the historic and biological trend

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    • Finally someone worthy of upvote

    • Thank god. This means I have hope

  • What kind of a question is this?
    Women have the same tools men have. In fact we have more then men. We don’t act desperate. I don’t consider myself conceded but I do have enough confidence to pick and choose my mate. You’re saying women NEED to be attractive in order to find a man. I disagree with you 10000000%. A guy could have all the tools you stated and I still wouldn’t date him if he lacked in one department I valued in a mate. Plus very few men possess the tools you stated. I’m not a feminist I respect men very much. I don’t think picking a mate should be a comparison between looks and tools.

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  • Society beautifies females- in photos, in makeup, clothing, even shoes to make your legs look more slender (heels).
    If men had these beauty tools, they’d be as attractive as females. But these men are called “metrosexual” or even “gay”, without even looking into the situation.

    So men HAVE to rely on their personality/skills/wealth to attract women, because they don’t have as many beauty tools as women do.

    So who has more tools, I’d say it’s 50/50, because females have more beauty tools, but men have tools in other areas if they’re not physically attractive.
    Also, a pretty girl with a trash personality is not gonna attract a partner, only a friends with benefits or a one nightstand. So females have to also rely on personality, not just looks. They need to have both. Men only need to have one of the tools to attract a female (looks, or wealth, or personality, or all of the above).

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    • Well, the threshold or standard that a woman needs to meet is just to make sure she isn’t a homicidal maniac lol. I’m certain all women can meet that standard, but it’s still not something she can rely on in attracting a mate. I believe the reason why this is the case is due to biology. Men always choose based on the physical, while women wanted more beyond that. Women valued more traits because those traits protected her and the offspring and those traits meant success in life as well.

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    • Again, these are for casual sex reasons. Women won’t choose ugly men to have sex with- that is almost 100% guaranteed. But a man who is good looking (he doesn’t have to be super handsome) with good social skills? Definitely.

    • And again, if we’re talking about relationships - men DO look at personality unless they’re FWBs or something. But if they wanna actually be with that girl because they seriously like her, sure the looks are a good thing, but what makes them want to BE WITH them is her personality, combined with her looks

  • If you think the only tool a woman has to attract men is her appearance/looks, sounds like you're spending way too much hunting for pussy at the club/brothel.

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  • what do i use to attract hot boyz? my dazzling personality of course

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  • umm.. exactly all these things are what women also have.. pretty obvious. du-uh!
    or maybe you wanna imply that men are shallow and dont go beyond looks of women? wow

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  • I ask myself that question too because as a girl, I'm not the best looking apple in the room. I have a personality but men see the face first.

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  • lol i guess with my own experience i have to go with men

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  • Men have more overt tools.
    Women have a lot of subtle tools to read and seduce a mate. A lot of guys won't even understand whats happening, just that their in lust with a women.

    Girls will know exactly what a man is doing to draw them in. They'll simply weigh their options and make a decision.

    Think of it like birds. Females will draw males with their pheremones (subtle & irresistable). Males will come with their bright fancy feathers and put on a show to try and get the female to accept him.

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  • Well everyone has the same tools different people are just more likely to put emphasis in different areas. it tends to be most common that men go for looks, personality, and history primarily. And women more often choose based on personality, status... But what each of those entails can vary wildly. We tend to use past experiences to say away from what we don't like and lean towards what we do so saying for example, status, is important can either mean they want a politician or movie star, or it can mean they don't like that and only go for blue collar guys.

    The 'tools' are the same how people use that is different.

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  • So basically you're saying men are shallow.

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    • Yes, but women are too. Just in a DIFFERENT way

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    • You are right and I am wrong.

  • 50/50 split

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  • Woman can give the exact same things

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  • I guess men

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  • titss

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What Guys Said 47

  • Women way more tools. Women can have status, charisma, kindness too you know. I think it goes both ways.

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    • I don’t think any man will be drawn to a woman’s status in life. It’s a fact that women are attracted to men in high dominance hierarchies and not the other way around. Meaning, women do not need to have status or high positioning in life to attract men

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    • @lumos all the men i know couldnt give a shit if she's high status or not, in fact they find it a turn off, and if she's not attractive they aren't interested in getting to know her, i have turned down many girls for not being pretty enough.

    • Thank you SmoothDude... Finally an honest man.

  • I think this varies by the individual, but as a group, I think women have the upper hand, particularly because they can always talk to a guy first if they want, and them taking the initiative has a greater impact than when a man does.

    Women also have personality, character, and the same other things men do to offer when attracting a man. A related factor is the number of dateable members of the group-if there are significantly fewer dateable women, they have an additional tool in their arsenal.

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  • Men have more tools available, because Evolution has demanded it. Men need to demonstrate intellect, humor, ability to protect, ability to provide, etc, etc, etc. A woman needs attractive breasts , a nice ass and an available vagina.

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  • I feel like many women exaggerate the standards they think men have for finding them beautiful. It really doesn't require that much. As long as she takes care of herself and doesn't look too old or unhealthy, that will probably be enough. It's not like we only go for the girls who look like supermodels. You don't need to have a perfect face, big boobs, wide hips, small waist, beautiful hair and everything. Just don't look like a troll and men will see you as beautiful.
    But I disagree that all women have to go on is beauty. Yes, physical attraction is important from a biological perspective because it means that a person is healthy, but like I mentioned, most women will look good enough for a man to be interested. But men also like women who are kind, gentle, soft, empathetic, and nurturing, because all those things are also important for a mate. So no, looks isn't everything a woman has to go on. If a man had to choose between a supermodel who's a bitch and an avarage-looking woman who's kind and sweet, he'd go for the avarage-looking girl any day.

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  • Women because women smell good, feel good, and are great assets in "clandestine operations." Women can learn languages better. Women are viewed as the "weaker sex" , so they are less likely to be tortured.

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    • That’s cool and all but I’m asking in the context of attraction and securing a mate.

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    • If a guy looks at pictures or even close-up of a wet vagina and he is not gay, then you will "see his elongated attraction." How can you tell if a woman is attracted? She might smile and have her clitoris increase a half an inch in size.

  • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-shrug(d).gif

    Men have more tools but women's tools are better and far more effective.

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  • Females think I'm ugly, so they think my personality is also ugly to.

    So I'd say females just have to be a female in genral and look nice to get any kind of male attention.

    But for a guy, we have to look toned, nice abs, fast car, a fair bit of money etc, or we don't get any female attention without those things.

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  • I've never thought about it like that but I would say men.

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  • Is that really a question? Men have zero tools. Women have everything. They also control sex in the beginning of the relationship and men ultimately fall for that. Women are WAY WAY more likely to be ok with a guy that is less then attractive to her because of his "other qualities". I have never met a man that would do that ever... She has the looks and all the right equipment. Guys don't have much to put up against women.

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  • I think men have more because girls look at the stuff on the surface of a guy then over time other stuff too. Looks and personality at first then his job and financial situation and etc

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  • See after reading most of the opinions here I've come to the conclusion that this sort of thing heavily depends from person to person for example what maybe an attractive quality to someone, may not be attractive to someone else therefore the number of usable tools variable based on the person being dealt with

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  • Well considering even rather unattractive women can get asked out simply by existing I would say women.

    You would have to be very confident and look really nice as a man for a woman to ask you out unless she had a dominant disposition.

    submissive men are dime-a-dozen while dominant while dominant women might as well be diamonds.

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  • My reasoning for voting women is the bigger choice of sexually provoking clothes. Sure, a really fit guy wearing a tanktop can be sexy too, but it takes more than just some clothing for men, in comparison to women

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  • Girls have make up, tits, ass, and they usually dress better

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    • Those fall under one category: physical/looks. Men do not choose women based on their personality, character, or status in life. I believe this is biological.

  • Biologically speaking: men. Men tend to have to peaks of sexual marketability; one shortly after 20; another closer to 40. This is purely down to the fact that around 20 a man is at his peak attractiveness, while around 40 he is at his peak wealth.
    Sexist as it may sound, women care more about the resources of their partner than men and it’s purely biological. Because of this, women typically only have one sexual market value peak due to health and attractiveness.

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  • That's one way of looking at it, to say that men have more "tools". But really they just have more requirements put on them. You can't just be young and good-looking, you also need talent, experience, success, money, ambition, etc.

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  • Neither have a advantage on the basis of gender alone. The gender doesn't determine who you are, everyone has to figure that out for themselves, everyone has their own tools and methods based upon who they are.

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  • Women however once a women falls in love with a man she will do anything for him no matter how badly she is treated. So men win in the end

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  • All a girl has to do is wear a g-string and I will fall in love with them.. its so easy for them

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