My boyfriend and I started dating around 2 years ago. We had this thing where we'd pay for our ownselves, because neither do we earn but rely on pocket money. Now he obviously gets a lot from his parents, while I get enough money to pay for myself on three occasions at max. He never ever offers to pay for me and even if I have no money I'd stay hungry because he wouldn't be welcoming me with open arms. Even if I have made him pay once I have to immediately return the money. I've paid for him quite a few times and never take a penny back. Additionally, I save up for months and get him pricey things from time to time, while I barely get anything. I've told him I'm not materialistic and a rose would do, but I've received just one in two years because he finds it a hassle. Today, I was hungry and I asked him to order something for me costing around 3$ and he refused and said do it yourself. I can't even imagine doing that. No matter, how much I'm earning in the future. My traditional mindset says that I'll feel a sense if femininity if my husband takes charge of most financial expenditures. I already do too much for him and I can't gulp how he says no to me. He's a brilliant boyfriend otherwise mA but this is a deal-breaker for me. how do I let him know?
Most Helpful Guy
This will always be a problem. Women are indirectly and subconsciously fed all of the feminist narrative, the strong, independent and empowered woman...
... then they get with a guy that actually expects them to always pay for all of their food, and suddenly it's ''My traditional mindset says that I'll feel a sense if femininity if my husband takes charge of most financial expenditures.''
If you were honest with yourself from the start, this wouldn't have been going on for 2 years.
Then you get some of the guys in the comments section talking about how the guy is not a gentleman... but that completely ignores the fact that a lot of society has been screaming against men for being exactly that.
At the end of the day, the problem comes from inconsistency. You want it one way when it suits you, and another way when it doesn't. You want to be treated in a traditional way in some areas, and a non traditional way in others. This is why there will always be a problem.
Dump him, move on... and you will find a different set of problems because you aren't being congruent within yourself.0
Most Helpful Girl
Communication is key here, you need to talk to him about how you are feeling, at the end of the day there are a couple of things that you can do. Find a way to make more money for yourself so you can afford to go out, and buy the expensive gifts. Talk to him and say how you can't afford to do gifts and trips out all the time so somethings going to have to give.
You could break up with him if you don't like it, however COMMUNICATE first explain that you don't get much money in and sometimes it would just be nice if he treated you how you feel you deserve to be. But when it all comes down to it if you don't like it and nothing changes, leave.1