Can a boyfriend have a female bestfriend?

My boyfriend has a friend that is a girl and there friendship is very close. They snapchat a lot and I am friends with her as well and she has a boyfriend. My boyfriend knows that I feel insecure around her but he insists that he loves me and even asked me to move in recently. He is amazing to me and says that he wants to be with me forever and start a family one day. I have insecurities and I am scared that he will leave me for her. He swears that I am the only one for him. But he thinks I am selfish for asking him to stop seeing her. Am I crazy? Why does he not understand?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he was good friends with her before you guys started a relationship then you have no right to ask him not to see her. It would be difficult, I get that but 1 of the worst things people in relationships do is the "it's me or them, you need to choose" scenario. If she is a long term friend like a sister then you have nothing to worry about. Insecurities can ruin relationships so try to get passed it.

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    • He met her after we started dating. We are in a serious relationship and they met when he switched jobs. We have hung out and now he is skiing with her and a group of friends. While I am at work. (I couldn’t get the day off) they all carpooled and I hate that she is there are I am not. I got snapchats from him and t bothers me that she is there especially when I see her in the snapchats. He tells me all the time that she is like a sister. I am trying so hard to be supportive of this, I snapchatted him telling him to have a good day and that I love him but it hurts so much on the inside.

    • I can understand your point of view, I'd probably feel similar but it's not worth ruining your bond with your partner. Maybe try talking to him about it.

    • I have talked to him about it. He understands but he thinks it is selfish of me to ask him not to see her. He tells me he loves me and that I am his world and that he wants to be with me forever. He always tells me that he has nothing to hide and he is not like the other guys. I don’t want to have to keep having this conversation with him because he won’t change his mind and neither will I. She is thin with perfect skin and she’s beautiful. I don’t feel that way about myself. I don’t know why he chose me instead of her. She can get any man she wants. I am so insecure when it comes to her. She makes me be this crazy insecure girlfriend and I hate that about myself. I hate that she thinks it’s ok to constantly text and snapchat MY boyfriend when she should text her own.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you're being insecure.

    My SO has 2 best friends that are female. They grew up together and are really close. To begin with I felt a little threatened, but once I got to know the girls and understood the dynamic of their friendship, I was appeased. Now I'm friends with them too, and they're amazing people to me.

    I think you need to get to know her better. Honestly, I'm amazed he's been so chill about your insecurities. If my SO told me not to see a male friend, I'd see major res flags.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I have a best friend who has a boyfriend and trust me there is nothing wrong with it. I have become more like a relationship consultant for her. I always tell her to stick to his guy and try my best to make her faithful in her relationship. I guess this sort of jealousy or insecurity is fine, but don't overdo it.

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  • If the only thing is that they're friends then I don't see a problem. I've had really good female friends - at times in my life, I've hung out more with them than any of my guy friends without anything romantic going on.

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  • Actually its depends. U know about ur boyfriend.. how much he is.. evn i think u can read his meantality.. if u fell that ur boyfriend is hoest.. then u sould feelll easy. But if u think that . Ur boyfriend character hv any doubt . Thn u need to take some step.

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  • I have! It's normal as we are just friends and I never had anything else, than friendship. I know her for almost 20 years and I'm married for 10 years already. She's just friend of mine, that's all. My wife was worried and it was difficult to accept and believe in it. We have spent time together and all issues gone.
    That's why I believe that could be the cause.

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  • My closest friend is a girl, our relationship is somewhere friends and siblings I guess. Nothing to be jealous about but plenty to worry about since she is the hardest person for my girlfriend's to get accepted by.

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    • If you don’t mind me asking.. has this caused strain between you and your gf? I like the girl that he is friends with but I am scared that they will eventually fall for each other even though he says that he will never hurt me. I know if I keep bringing up the subject to my boyfriend he will get upset and resent me but whenever they are together and I am not there I feel like I am being kicked in the stomach.

    • No it didn't cause any strain between us. Maybe because we are so secure about our positions so no one even thinks about it. It was actually my friend who introduced me to my girlfriend.

      All relationships builds on trust, if there is no trust between you or the trust is broken, then what's the point? Well that's my two cents

  • If you can release your insecurity, you should do well. Do you ever spend any time with the two of them?

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    • I do. She is a sweet girl. They work in the same department and they have inside jokes but she always tries to include me in them. I know she has relationships issues of her own as well. I trust him but I over think a lot and do not want to be naive.

    • It all depends on his level of insecurity. This is the critical part. If you become increasingly insecure, it will show in how you treat him and will make him insecure about you and drive him away. If you can make yourself secure, you have a far better chance of holding him close, exactly where you want him. What you want to watch for is suspicious behavior from him. That will tell all.

  • Sure he can, as well as her. It's also preferrable, considering that in case you both have a fight, you need someone to talk to, and best friends are (or should be) always there for you.

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  • Maybe she is more like a sister to him... have you no male friends you would never dream of going out with?

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  • I don't think you have anything to worry about- relax.

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  • I wouldn't trust that crap. If it's not a serious relationships than fuck it get some guy friends and see how it goes

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  • You are trying to control him (selfish), and he doesn't want to be controled.

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    • Yeah I understand he is allowed to have friends as am I. I just don’t want to fall into the trap of “she is just a friend” i mean he tells me all of time how much I mean to him and I know I shouldn’t worry. It is just really hard. He is flirty in nature and he does not realize it.

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    • I consider his feelings in everything. I encourage him to go out with his friends and watch sports and do activities that make him happy all the time. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. As important as it is to be together it is important to do activities separately too. I understand I am being dramatic I guess I am overprotective of my feelings and do not want to get hurt. You think I should relax and let it be unless I notice any obvious red flags in the future?

    • All I can say, is a lack of trust towards one partner in a relationship is just as damaging in the long term as cheating is in the short term.

      Men remember these incidents. And more importantly they never forget. And if they don't stop, he will eventually alter his behavior in a way that doesn't tell you all the details as a reaction.

  • Yes. Stop asking him to stop seeing her. That's possessive and immature.

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  • A boyfriend can have a female best friend if he's gay.

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  • My Best Friend is female, has been since I was in high school

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  • the fact she has a boyfriend makes me think that you are probably perfectly okay.

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  • It’s insensitive of him

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  • Yup he can have

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  • Yes most definitely

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  • unfortunately, no, they can't

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What Girls Said 4

  • For the first time maybe, someone in G@G made me cry behind this screen (Please pardon me for this super sensitive eyes at the moment like this). God, I dare to swear that I feel you on this. How is this pattern is the exact same but maybe the outcome could be different. I wish he is honest with you.

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  • Unless they have had a previous intimate relationship, in my opinion, there isn't a reason for him to stop being friends with her.
    If you ask yourself if you would feel this way if she were a he, and the answer is no, you need to let it go.

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  • Huh?

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  • Of course they can wth

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