Why don't western men appreciate a woman who cooks and cleans and caters to them?

I've dated guys from various cultures. But I noticed that western guys (Caucasian) in particular aren't really appreciative of a woman who caters to them. It's like they either think it's overly pleasing (needy? Or validation seeking) or just don't care about that. Why? Or do they just don't believe the woman when she says that's how she is?


0|0
326

Most Helpful Guy

  • Programming since age 6 in their first years of kindergarten. Taught that traditionalism is inherently bad.

    This leads to polarization, beta males who are not attractive, or jerks who were supposed to be removed by the program. The nice guys find it hard to resist and either polarize or drop out entirely.

    Some however have resisted but they have a hard time coming out of hiding. I am not perfect but I do appreciate what you describe and I'm still trying to improve.

    Neomasculinity is the buzzword to look up though.

    1|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's appreciated at first but then it gets taken for granted.
    It's just like everything else.
    Appreciation is so important in a relationship.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Any white guys I've dated except the oldest one, always tried cooking for me. It was a bit ackward from my own history etc. They certainly cook great but it just seems unimportant to the average western man.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • I honestly think its just that he doesn't believe her. We are told non stop that traditional gender roles are bad (even though they are not and statistically people who are traditional are much happier then non traditional people) and so they probably don't even realize that's what they want because they have been told that they should hate that as well as simply not believing that any woman now a days could possibly have those traits as their has been a fifty year campaign to remove them from women.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Look, Caucasian men in the West have been made to be sissies and feel guilty for a man being traditional and masculine and for supporting traditional gender roles.

    A lot of Caucasian men in the West are kinda screwed up and soft in this era.

    1|1
    1|0
  • I dont want a woman to cook or clean for me, I can do that on my own, I dont need a new "mother".

    All I am interested in is, if she loves me and if I love her. If one of these conditions is not met, no catering can fix that.

    3|0
    0|0
    • It's not a condition but part
      Of it. It's nice you don't require that. Has nothing to do with needing a new mom.

  • I'd appreciate it... But I'd want you to work on a job... This how it has been in my country for for over 50 years now... Only my grandma was a Stay at home mom at the start but then she had to work too. My parents both worked while I was young didn't affect me at all.

    1|0
    0|0
    • What country?

    • Show All
    • Is the tax like 1/3 or 1/2 of the income? But isn't education free?

    • 1/3 at minimum wage (Around 30%) but tax increase more and more and more depending on what you earn so at around 4200$ you pay more than 40% and the its goes even higher and higher... education and health care might be free but it's far from "Acceptable"... We have the longest waiting times for healthcare in Europe my own grandpa had to wait more than 2 months more than what you should for getting treatment for CANCER. He is at the last stage now... School is literally shit... My own fucking school had to pay a fine of 45,000$ for not fixing the issues they failed on school inspection. Which they were told to fix 3 times over a span of 2 years... Yet they bought some fucking solar panels which won't help the problem.
      Some of our teachers are literally breaking the law... Wtf... They only good schools are the private schools... which get pretty much the same amount of money as the public...

  • I think many (me included) do appreciate. But feminism has scared us and so we do not show it πŸ˜‰

    1|2
    0|0
  • In West are gender equality, which doesn't mean that gender have roles. which is completely opposite in eastern cultures. Without roles they can't appreciate it, because they can't understand it anymore

    1|0
    0|0
  • I love it, but feminism is screwing with life.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Most men do appreciate a woman who cooks and cleans for them, initially. I think after awhile we become accustomed to it and we don't so the appreciation.

    If you reverse rolls and say why western women don't appreciate when a guy opens the door for them or when a guy pays for the date.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Maybe its because you are trying to use that as a way to 'one up' him
    So in return we might just say, i rather not be expected to owe you something just cause you put on the wifey suit

    Do it more authentic genuine without making it as if you did something oh so amazing
    Just cook to eat and feed or be fed

    I don't see why they need to gravel at your feet for it lol

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't try to one up anybody. But it's nice if they like it. My ex loved that fact is make his lunch every night before work in the morning. Other guys not so much

    • Show All
    • So its like turkey on saturdays. Eggs and pancakes for mornings and home baked apple pie for sundays? Lol
      Thats you?

    • No I cook different stuff. I can't everyday cook elaborate stuff. I work and go to school

  • I'd appreciate it

    1|0
    0|0
  • I call bullsh*t on this one.

    0|1
    0|0
    • It's not. This is my experience.

    • Show All
    • Nobody likes things not working out. But really it's a observation. I like pleasing my man this way. Makes me happy. It's like the feeling a woman gets when she gets her man off.

    • Well obviously if your past relationships didn't work out they were not good at communicating. It shouldn't be surprising that they didn't communicate appreciation.

  • Don't know what you're talking about I'm a white guy and I like the good wifely type of girls.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If they think that is equal to working a job then I wouldn't appreciate it because it is much less work and easier.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Wow that's not all of us. I cook and clean quite well for myself but deeply appreciate a caring and even doting lady. But in return I open her door, pay her check, and act like a gentleman. Oops I just gave my age away.

    1|0
    0|0
  • May be their upbringing is that way

    1|0
    0|0
  • They're retarded animals

    1|0
    0|0
    • What the f**k. You're retarded for saying that. Different tribes different behaviours. Keep yours to yourself

    • My dad has never shown any gratitude towards my mom, ever. And that's something I can't forgive him. She's not a slave.

    • Sorry for that. But that's your dad. It's not the way of life of every single cauc

  • I don't know. I know I appreciate a woman who take care of her man

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm a western man. I don't believe that a girls job should be strictly cooking and cleaning. It should be equal. If you want to cook for your man, do it but it shouldn't be expected.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Does it turn you off if she prefers to take that role and be more submissive?

    • Show All
    • No I'm just saying alright lol.

    • Oh ok. πŸ˜‚

  • It's considered sexist over here in the states.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You just got bad men we all aren't like that

    0|0
    0|0
  • Where are you from?

    0|0
    1|0
    • I have never seen this attitude hence my question sorry. In my experience in the UK and Europe where I have lived and worked, most appreciate anyone who cooks or panders to their needs, even on shared activities. Maybe with you looking at it through a racial microscope as it appears you see it differently.

  • Because they love a homemaker

    0|0
    0|0
  • Western Men don't appreciate that? No offense but maybe your cooking and cleaning is subpar?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Fuck no. I been cooking since I was a kid. I cook Greek, Algerian, Moroccan, Russian, Italian, Hungarian. I clean good to. The guys I come across just don't care about it. They try to cook for me instead!!

    • Show All
    • That is true what you just said

    • But he should be taking care of you and taking care of him should be the reward for him taking care of you.

  • In my experience that's not true. Most guys I know, myself included, much prefer a woman like that over a "modern woman".

    Men are always lamenting the fact that most women today don't know how to cook and tend to be very self-centered compared to women of the past. I think men today appreciate women like you more than ever because they are so hard to find now.

    I hope you find a good man who appreciates you because you deserve to be appreciated.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I hear that and I know it's rare. But I find ones who dont. Mind you I always end up with really narccistic guys...

    • Show All
    • I'm very giving... sometimes to a fault. Give to many chances. Too much empathy

    • All those are good things, not bad. They make you the best kind of woman in my opinion. You sound like my wife and I feel like the luckiest man in the world the she is like that and she is mine.

      I don't understand why you think that's why you end up with the wrong kind of guys.

  • I would appreciate it and I’m white, maybe those guys are just so used to career women that don’t do it

    1|0
    0|0
    • You are also a bit older. The only white guy I dated who appreciated was 19 years my age

    • Yeah that’s close to mine too, I’m 51 , I guess I’m old school too

    • I am too. But if you try to do these things for guys it seems like it's odd to them.

What Girls Said 2

  • I know some do alot! I feel like everyone appreciates someone who can cook, but then again a lot of men have had their mums cooking from them until they're adults so it may just seem natural lol.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I think some guys can't appreciate anything. Maybe guys who never left home can't.

  • Because the have moms

    0|0
    0|1
Loading... ;