How is tinder any more different or superficial than approaching people in real life? To me it’s the same?

Say you go out because you’re single and are looking. Most people dress up because we do think appearance matters, showing off our best versions to prospective mates. If you see someone, your decision to approach them is completely dependent on how they look. It’s your first take in, eye em up from head to toe, make assessment on whether to approach or not. When you see someone you don’t know anything about them other than their looks, it’s just the truth. I don’t see how this is different than tinder because tinder is the same but just in photo for at online. I see users say “can’t believe people take this seriously” or people comment you won’t find your SO on tinder... but honestly real life is just as superficial. Granted when you’re out doing things you enjoy you can find others that do similar things (but that’s what bios are for, no?) ... I just don’t get why tinder is frowned upon for meeting random people to see if you click, not sexually, but personality wise. I have known people who married someone they met on tinder. I just don’t see how tinder is different than going out in the town for a night to see what’s out there.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the biggest problem with Tinder is, we can't all agree on what it's for. I personally don't think the platform was made for anything other than hook-ups (too fast paced, and location oriented). I'm all for Tinder as it was created to be used, and think it's a necessary, and helpful tool for someone who isn't looking to hop right back into a relationship. There are plenty of dating apps you can use if you're looking for a deeper connection, quit trying to ruin a good thing

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What Guys Said 20

  • I am too much introverted to approach women in real life.

    With tinder I enjoy the fact, that I can freely like or dislike someone, without them knowing and contact is established, after both liked on their own.
    There is no "Am I good enough for her?"-fear, which is really relaxing.

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  • That's a good point, when you think about it there really is no difference. The opening stages of dating will always be superficial

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  • I agree that meeting could be similar but not exactly same. When you're seeing a person inperson you could be attracted in many ways like the activity he/she is doing or her smiles at that time her body movements all these intotal forms the real life meeting withsome. while in tinder you're wholy dependent on some selected pictures one wants you to see.

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  • It allows you to be rude to people you match with with little repercussions.

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  • I think it's better to go out than meet online. There are more fakes online. Tinder is more about hookup than relationship. There is nothing wrong with that either. It's all about what you are looking for.

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  • In tinder it's virtual and anything virtual may not always be real, you know. Online, people can be anything, they may show something and be something totally different. Putting much filter on the reality.

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  • Only difference is that you're sure that you will not be bothering the person you want to talk to on Tinder, since you can only talk and meet people who are interested ^^

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  • People lie in bios
    You can't look into their past
    And you can't find SOs on tinder because no one on tinder is there for anything but hookups
    As simple as that

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    • I’ve met a virgin on tinder. One of my best guy friends is on tinder and he is looking for something real. I think it’s extremely dependent on the person.

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    • That is true, you can get a better feel for people in person most definitely.

    • And who says that you have to fall for him or jump into bed with them on the first day?
      Be friends, try to get to know each other, analyze , look out for red flags and then decide if after knowing everything if you still like the person, if you do, go ahead
      If you don't, precaution is better than cure.

  • Because you can't see body language through tinder I guess... While in person you truly have the full experience of how the person is

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  • Hahahaha defs not the same. By a long shot. One first off i doubt you would be able to just walk up to a guy and start a conversation 2 its a fuckboy app and an approach can be either.

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  • Approaching people in real life can make them feel uncomftibule sometimes and tinder gives to that kind of people comfidence

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  • Approaching people is indeed quite superficial.
    But a lot of people don't approach or get approached, they typically find partners through day to day interaction.

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    • That is true. I mostly meant going out to look for someone.

  • If tinder were the only dating app or website it might not have its reputation.

    However there -are- other online dating methods and tinder’s niche is hookups. People do meet and date from it but it’s a hookup first/dating secondary focus while some other online tools are dating first/hookups secondary.

    This is sort of like saying a singles group that meets in the day might lead to a hookup and chatting up drunk people at last call at a club could lead to a relationship, but the singles group is more relationship oriented and the club at last call is more hookup oriented.

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  • It's not but you get to read faces and body language in person

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  • People will always find one reason or another to be elitist in regards to others.

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  • People can lie easier when online and it takes courage to talk to someone in person.

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  • There are a lot of problems with Tinder. There are a lot of fake accounts which just mess with guys. There are a lot of stories and situations in which people just meet up purely for sex and not really looking for a relationship, which makes things difficult for guys who actually are looking for something real. It seems like you have to be really smooth talking or the woman will just give up and stop messaging you (not unmatch you, just stop talking). Also, once you get to the stage where you want to meet up, women tend to be very skeptical of meeting up with someone they met online.

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  • Only difference is your selection

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  • Tinders a waste of time nobody responds to you and you never hear anything back but im a coward if i was to ask a girl out in real life you kind of have a safety net

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  • Tinder removes the sting of being rejected to your face and in front of other people.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not different, just easier because you migjt not meet these people in real life. I know i don't go out very much so I definitely wouldn't meet anyone haha

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