Yes, people who do this are the biggest pieces of shit and can get hit by a bus.
One girl I dated, invited me to her place again on the 3rd date, told me to go to her room and i found an empty condom wrapper ON THE FUCKING BED. What was even worse was she had the nerve to turn it around on me by basically saying fuck off and never talk to me again, blocking me on social media and then accusing me of stalking her when I'd see her at concerts later on, despite that we had similar music tastes, and that I was with friends and on one occasion another girl I dated.
That shit is really messed up and can really fuck with you. Fuck gaslighting but more importantly fuck people that do it.
I didn't know what gaslighting was until months after this happened. My friends did say that she sound manipulative and like a sociopath which are definitely affiliated with gaslighting.
What pissed me off the most was I never got an apology and I was treated like I was the psycho/asshole. I guarantee you that if the roles were reversed and I brought some girl to my place with an empty condom wrapper in my bed used on another girl, id be fucking crucified and would be hearing about it nonstop. Rightfully so though.
I do remember people trying to gaslight me. As an asexual guy, I do have people trying to gaslight me... Most of the time, it usually doesn't work because I'm a very confident guy who knows himself. Maybe when I was a kid, somebody may have gaslighted me to think I'm not good enough at something.
Yes. I had 3 people using me a comfort animal, they would only talk to me when bored. This went on for almost 10 years until I had finally had enough and called them on their bullshit.
I even travelled for work and had several opportunities to meet them in real life but they refused every time. There was one I really liked but I told her to fuck off since she couldn't respect me enough as a friend to meet. I've had problems ever since because when I cut them off I want MGTOW and deleted all my female friends with the expecation that by removing myself from the friendzone I would open myself up to actual romantic interests. That never happened so now I'm miserably lonely, women won't approach me because I'm MGTOW, and I have an impossible time considering women to be friends when I don't have anyone of the opposite sex that I trust anymore.
Ex friend liked to do it, I keep a paper note she wrote that said someone told her online I wanted her to die and hated her and thought she was shit to remind myself that I’m stronger now. She’d run away or make me feel like I was neglecting her. It took me a year to realize what she did to me, and a year to seek therapy, and this is the first year I’ve been fully separated and recovered from the residual trauma except nightmares.
I'm glad you've posted this to spread awareness of it, it's like advanced guilt tripping and victim card playing. I've fallen for it before but I've grown to be aware of it.
I probably have been before without knowing it, but everyone that is regularly a part of my life is decent enough not to do that. I also have a good amount of self confidence, and have resisted gaslighting before. I can imagine that the only time it’s ever worked on me is if someone did it without my noticing.
My daughter keeps telling us what an amazing memory she has, coming up with (unverifiable) anecdotes from when she was 3-4 years old. Equally amazingly, her memory only works with promises we've apparently made to her years ago, never the ones she made to us this week.
Ex-wife did this. She would change things she had done/said in the past. I thought it must have been me, she was so adamant that I was wrong. It continued for 20 years, she then divorced me and I finally got my balls back! I stood up to her and found a way to know I wasn't starting arguments/being awkward/ in the wrong. Completely reversed my self doubt.
Yes I have. I believe society gaslighted me because society at one point made me believe it was normal to believe in God - saying I don’t know the way only God knows the way, I am a wicked sinner, and the Message is full of contradictions. I spent a lot of time being an outcast - because if you actually try to live biblically snd belief biblically your self esteem and social standing will go way down
As surly most of people here, I was gaslighted by an ex and he does sometimes try to get in contact with me but I blocked him totally. I was a run down to Hell. Fortunately I'm way better now even more than the before meeting him. Sad part, gaslighting is in every aspect and I'm unable to help à family member who is being gaslighted by his boss at work to make him work for almost nothing.
Not heard of gaslighted before but I totally agree with @Quintessence comments my ex used to guilty trip me but I knew what she was doing lucky enough, and I've seen friends doing it to their 'current' partners it's pretty much mind games, I have a pretty strong mind... Or just very stubborn 😂😂😂 so my only got away with small thing when she played these mind games
My parents. Until late high school I thought it was a legitimate way of arguing. I just assumed whoever had the best memory won. So I'm realky good at remembering things verbatim now haha
Yes , its so sad. Makes you doubt yourself and thinks that i am crazy. Lol but Thank God i am weak emotionally but very strong mentally. Even sometimes i have a total melt down i always hold myself not pass it to other people.
I often hate to admit it but there is apart of me that with out doubt can easily manipulate people and this way is one of them but i don't ever try to do this on other people i have actually tested this out on myself and it really trippy but other than that i don't believe I've eve been gaslighted cause I'd probably know it was happening right away unless done by someone really good at it
Yes. There are common tactics that make it quite clear. Usually, to point out that you see through them is enough, though sometimes a bit more forceful intervention is required. I watch mostly for logical errors. straw men, ad populum, begging the question, non-testable hypothesis, that sort of thing.
@SweGot a straw man argument is an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument. An ad populum argument is "everyone believes it, so it must be true"
I've never heard of it until now, it's funny that people have to give a definition to everything as an excuse to their own mind's fault, it's probably your problem when you obsess over wanting to meet someone, if they don't want to meet then just make a reason of it and move on.
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Yes, people who do this are the biggest pieces of shit and can get hit by a bus.
One girl I dated, invited me to her place again on the 3rd date, told me to go to her room and i found an empty condom wrapper ON THE FUCKING BED. What was even worse was she had the nerve to turn it around on me by basically saying fuck off and never talk to me again, blocking me on social media and then accusing me of stalking her when I'd see her at concerts later on, despite that we had similar music tastes, and that I was with friends and on one occasion another girl I dated.
That shit is really messed up and can really fuck with you. Fuck gaslighting but more importantly fuck people that do it.
I've been meaning to do a take on it.
I didn't know what gaslighting was until months after this happened. My friends did say that she sound manipulative and like a sociopath which are definitely affiliated with gaslighting.
What pissed me off the most was I never got an apology and I was treated like I was the psycho/asshole. I guarantee you that if the roles were reversed and I brought some girl to my place with an empty condom wrapper in my bed used on another girl, id be fucking crucified and would be hearing about it nonstop. Rightfully so though.
I do remember people trying to gaslight me. As an asexual guy, I do have people trying to gaslight me... Most of the time, it usually doesn't work because I'm a very confident guy who knows himself. Maybe when I was a kid, somebody may have gaslighted me to think I'm not good enough at something.
Many times, till I found the answer:
How to handle being a non priority ↗
OMG it's my good friend Susan Winter... love the vid!
Awesome :)
she is the best... someone I look up too in this field for sure.
Yes. I had 3 people using me a comfort animal, they would only talk to me when bored. This went on for almost 10 years until I had finally had enough and called them on their bullshit.
I even travelled for work and had several opportunities to meet them in real life but they refused every time. There was one I really liked but I told her to fuck off since she couldn't respect me enough as a friend to meet. I've had problems ever since because when I cut them off I want MGTOW and deleted all my female friends with the expecation that by removing myself from the friendzone I would open myself up to actual romantic interests. That never happened so now I'm miserably lonely, women won't approach me because I'm MGTOW, and I have an impossible time considering women to be friends when I don't have anyone of the opposite sex that I trust anymore.
Ex friend liked to do it, I keep a paper note she wrote that said someone told her online I wanted her to die and hated her and thought she was shit to remind myself that I’m stronger now. She’d run away or make me feel like I was neglecting her. It took me a year to realize what she did to me, and a year to seek therapy, and this is the first year I’ve been fully separated and recovered from the residual trauma except nightmares.
Good for you !!! This shit fucking sucks ass... thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks! I’ve found talking about it makes it easier to think about.
I'm glad you've posted this to spread awareness of it, it's like advanced guilt tripping and victim card playing. I've fallen for it before but I've grown to be aware of it.
Thank you.
I probably have been before without knowing it, but everyone that is regularly a part of my life is decent enough not to do that. I also have a good amount of self confidence, and have resisted gaslighting before. I can imagine that the only time it’s ever worked on me is if someone did it without my noticing.
My daughter keeps telling us what an amazing memory she has, coming up with (unverifiable) anecdotes from when she was 3-4 years old. Equally amazingly, her memory only works with promises we've apparently made to her years ago, never the ones she made to us this week.
Oh, you should check out what's been said on the BBC about gaslighting recently:
http://www.BBC.co.uk/news/stories-42460315
Awesome thanks for the link.
Ex-wife did this. She would change things she had done/said in the past. I thought it must have been me, she was so adamant that I was wrong. It continued for 20 years, she then divorced me and I finally got my balls back! I stood up to her and found a way to know I wasn't starting arguments/being awkward/ in the wrong. Completely reversed my self doubt.
Nice... good for you... you definitely aren't alone.
Yes I have. I believe society gaslighted me because society at one point made me believe it was normal to believe in God - saying I don’t know the way only God knows the way, I am a wicked sinner, and the Message is full of contradictions. I spent a lot of time being an outcast - because if you actually try to live biblically snd belief biblically your self esteem and social standing will go way down
As surly most of people here, I was gaslighted by an ex and he does sometimes try to get in contact with me but I blocked him totally. I was a run down to Hell.
Fortunately I'm way better now even more than the before meeting him.
Sad part, gaslighting is in every aspect and I'm unable to help à family member who is being gaslighted by his boss at work to make him work for almost nothing.
Not heard of gaslighted before but I totally agree with @Quintessence comments my ex used to guilty trip me but I knew what she was doing lucky enough, and I've seen friends doing it to their 'current' partners it's pretty much mind games, I have a pretty strong mind... Or just very stubborn 😂😂😂 so my only got away with small thing when she played these mind games
My parents. Until late high school I thought it was a legitimate way of arguing. I just assumed whoever had the best memory won. So I'm realky good at remembering things verbatim now haha
Yes , its so sad. Makes you doubt yourself and thinks that i am crazy. Lol but Thank God i am weak emotionally but very strong mentally. Even sometimes i have a total melt down i always hold myself not pass it to other people.
I grew up being gaslighted every day, by my stepmother whom i lived with from ages 4-15. I even thought I was legitimately delusional.
Wow, I am so glad to have learned this term. It definitely has happened but it is nice to have a better idea of what it is in order to avoid it.
Yes, but in a very minuscule way... which also, have to mention it, didn't work for them because I have excellent memory...
*an excellent...
I often hate to admit it but there is apart of me that with out doubt can easily manipulate people and this way is one of them but i don't ever try to do this on other people i have actually tested this out on myself and it really trippy but other than that i don't believe I've eve been gaslighted cause I'd probably know it was happening right away unless done by someone really good at it
Yes. There are common tactics that make it quite clear. Usually, to point out that you see through them is enough, though sometimes a bit more forceful intervention is required. I watch mostly for logical errors. straw men, ad populum, begging the question, non-testable hypothesis, that sort of thing.
What do straw men and ad populum mean?
(English is not nt mother tongue)
@SweGot a straw man argument is an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument. An ad populum argument is "everyone believes it, so it must be true"
I've never heard of it until now, it's funny that people have to give a definition to everything as an excuse to their own mind's fault, it's probably your problem when you obsess over wanting to meet someone, if they don't want to meet then just make a reason of it and move on.