What do guys really want from online dating?

I have been back on online dating for a couple of months. You can be having really nice conversations then they just go quiet or the topic turns to sex. It is very disheartening.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Situations below are in order of rarity. First situation is the most common and the last one is rare.
    1. You try to talk to a guy and he comes off as some person who is hungry for sex or his life is all about sex
    2. You try to talk to a guy and he seems like a nice guy, but it ends up in topics related to sex.
    3. You try to talk to a guy and he seems nice, you even go on a date but turns out someone fake.
    4. He turns our to be the same guy on date, but he seems a little awkward or his personality is little different from the man you talked online.
    5. Finally, a genuine man.

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    • I tried online dating but here most girls that I found online are often prostitutes who just give me their numbers to book them, girls who give me their Kik to buy their nudes, women who look for hookups (these are rare) and girls who are looking for relationships, but it gets very tough to find them and I don't have time to look out for them. I try to meet girls in my real life like in my university or in my social circle or maybe some religious or community place I use dating apps these days for only sexting. I am the guy on #2 on my list.

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    • There is no reason to hide it because I have met some girls on here who do the same and they are not shy about it so why I should be. Personally, I think online dating has become a means to an end which is sex.

    • Thanks for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there like two weeks ago and was on it for like a year and only just found someone who is very sweet you just need too filter them and be very picky you'll get someone if I can you can XD. As for your question I geathered just sex I have no idea why they choose a dating site and not a ex trolling site.

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    • Yeah I have spoken to nice guys then they just go weird. I have been picky too. Hopefully I will have the luck you are having now. Thanks

    • @DivAngel
      Picky in what ways?

    • Honest, caring and easy going. But you find very people that are that where I live so it is considered picky.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 32

  • I tried online dating several times, but with the intention to meet a girl with similar interests, or maybe a relationship. I didn't look for a quick hookup or one night stand at all.
    But like you it starts with nice conversations, for about several days/weeks and then when it comes to the 'lets go out on a date' question it goes all quiet. Its always the same, it doesn't lead to anything but frustration

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  • Trust me, the same thing happens to me too. Most men on there do want sex, but there's some good ones on there. Quickest way to filter a fuckboy is to wait till marriage. Straight up.

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  • I usually stop chatting if I see there is no real progress, usually because the lady I'm talking it doesn't talk about herself or shows any interest in who I am as a person. Sure its nice and friendly, but I don't see anything going past that. I'm not really someone who is looking for friends on a dating site, I got plenty enough friends in my real life and online.

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  • Depends on the guy really. But most online are looking for sex, or Skype calls and mutual masturbation. I think a majority of online relationships fail because of this. Sex gets boring quick when it's just online.

    I have had terrible luck online. Had a girl I wanted to marry but she didn't want to move from Europe. I think it needs to be discussed for meeting up at sometime in the future, otherwise, it will be all about sex.

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  • I know for me I don't want to chat for days and weeks and months. I have this site and others for that. I want less of the online and more of the dating part. I want to meet up and see if we click in person. What's the point of you aren't going to meet.

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    • When looking for a LTR (serious relationship not just sex), what is the youngest age a man is willing to date? or age gap?

    • Umm for me I usually look for 25 and up. I would give anyone I'm interested in that's 21 and over a chance so to speak, but I feel like out of college is a good start (or that age).

  • Finding a girlfriend?

    Problem is that on dating apps, most girls choose a guy by his appearance. There are tons of guys who are nice but not top models, and are ignored because of it.
    I'm not talking about since i'm a mess, but others could be boyfriend material, but girls doesn't even consider them.

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    • You are totally right! That makes it more frustrating

    • Add that on top of the fact that most of the women on dating sites are fake profiles of scammers. For the guy it quickly becomes a fruitless time wasting effort.

    • Yeah but there's nothing wrong at all with us boys having high standards of physical attraction. It's completely normal.

  • How soon do they ask for more pics? If they are more interested in your physical appearance and want only to talk about that then... You know what their after. I stay away from physical beauty and focus on their goals and interests. I showed up to my last date with a rose tucked in my inner sport coat pocket, after I determined their was some chemistry. I revealed it to her and that's all she'll talk about now. Gentleman take the gentleman approach and it'll pay dividends I assure you =)

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    • One guy asked for pictures on the second day of talking, nothing rude. It just went from him talking lots to just pictures. I think you want to have an initial physical attraction then you get to know them and see how well you get on, if you click and if there is that spark that tells you they are the one. Aww that is sweet she is a lucky girl 😊

    • Sadly it didn't work out, all she could talk about was how tall I was which was fine for the first date but the 2nd and 3rd date eh... Physical attraction is very important but it cannot be the foundation of the relationship.

  • Eventually sex should be a topic also if you're talking to someone since we are adults

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    • Of course I am no prude but not after 5 minutes

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    • Just wanted to make sure you don't call Jett, Jo

    • Of course and it is noted 😁

  • One the one hand, I understand what you mean about having good conversations and getting to know each other, but on the other hand, sex is part of (most people's) relationship, so...

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    • It is only part of it not all of it. And I can't have sex with random strangers. I need to have some sort of emotional connection with them. Which is not going to happen after 5 minutes. They wouldn't have the balls to go there if you did meet them in real life and not through online situations

    • I'm not suggesting that you have sex with random guys. Due to the way the statement was phrased there's va certain amount of ambiguity about what you meant by dating for 2 months.

    • When guys starting asking questions about your sexual likes and dislikes on the same day they started messaging you it is a bit much.

  • We need to see your date profile to give you a clear answer.
    Otherwise if your here in melb australia i'll put a ring on it.

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  • The exact same thing we want from NON-online dating: Sex up front (physical attraction), then secondly a good personal connection with a charming, smart, caring, great girl.

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  • Because its hard to keep an conversation going with lack of in put on both sides thats why mine always slowed down or stopped

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  • Maybe you are talking with the wrong guys with different intentions than yours... I would say 90% of guys are looking just for sex

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  • Searching a girl who understands me in all respects

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  • I really hate online dating because most girls just talk for Weeks or months and many times it fades after a while they kill you talk...

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  • most guys just want sex first and then find out if they actually wanna stay with the girl xD if you haven't learned that about men by your age, then what have you been doing with your life? xD just cause a man touches a sexual topic doesn't mean that he just wants sex. he just wants to see if you're generally open for it and if you're a sexual person cause that's what they need to know about you before they can even start to be interested in anything else... so why don't you give them a little tease like talking about it or whatever. just so you have them know that you're up to that if you feel they're the right one to do it with? cause that's really all that is about.

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  • I have been on online dating sites.. and believe me.. i have always wished for sex where the girl is willing and open.. and nothing more

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  • Haven't tried it. Been a bit nervous to due to people I know having bad experiences..

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  • I want meet a girl for true love and relationship. Don't know if it would
    happen on a dating site.

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  • What do I want from online dating?
    Someone to actually date would be a nice start.

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    • When looking for a LTR (serious relationship not just sex), what is the youngest age a man is willing to date? or age gap?

    • That's going to depend on the individual man. As long as both are of legal age and there is a connection I think age doesn't matter.
      Better chances though within 10 years of each other.

  • Most guys on there dont care about dating they just want sex

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    • Not necessarily true... Sex up front, but plenty of guys for whatever reason also want serious dating too.

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    • Yeah I mean I think that's a common misconception. Just because we're always down for sex and want it first doesn't mean we ONLY want that. It seems like that's what girls accuse us of, all the time.

    • Yea its sad to say but even main stream media accuses us of ALL being sex crazed/ craving on dating apps or sites. I only said what i said was do to talking to multiple "friends" and thats the answer they gave.

  • Not to be rejected.

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  • nudes

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  • Nothing- have ZERO interest in it

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    • Then why answer if you have no opinion on it haha

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    • Yeah well when everyone in your work life or personal life is attached you need to find other ways. And I doubt a 35 year old is going to find a boyfriend by going to clubs or pubs. So if you have suggestions on great places to meet guys I am all ears.

    • I attach not trust to the Net. There are no places per se in real life. It is more a case of right place. right time. Even just catching a train from London to Brum. Or at a poetry club in Cardiff. Or in the aftermath celebrations for an Aston Villa win :)

  • Nudes i guess lmao

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  • Find dates, share my love

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  • A chance to meet.

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  • Sex or just attention

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  • The same as offline dating... 😁

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  • they want to drill fore the gold between your legs

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What Girls Said 4

  • It’s depends on the guy and the dating site you are using as well— Some are known for hookups and others are
    More geared to relationships. That being said you must get to know the guy first before you believe anything. Always as to meet immediately so you are not catfished or waster
    Your time on someone who has old pics posted that don’t look like them now which happens all the time.

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  • Talking to people.

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  • Sex. That's what they want. Sex.

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    • Yeah. So? I mean it's not ALL we want, but we want it yeah. Do you not?

  • Sexting

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