What are your thoughts when you are pursued by someone who is totally out of your league?

Why would a man who is pursued by models and 10/10 girls ditch them and pursue an average girl instead?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, maybe average is beautiful to him.

    Like a magician mentioned that he got his start as a teenager performing magic at a strip club or burlesque/topless show. So, boobs and butts don't really phase him now because he was so used to seeing naked or partially naked women being around him. He's a one woman at a time type guy. They just don't have that draw.

    I knew a guy who was great with women. They rarely phased him because he grew up around a lot of Las Vegas showgirls. Again, a naked, beautiful woman... it's not like "so what?" But... "eh, I've seen it before... now what do you have going on in that mind?" THAT is what made him interested. He was great with women because he wasn't obsessed with seeing them naked or getting them into bed right away. And some he knew that were gorgeous were not really all that great conversationally, or they were messed up... and so it was more personality. And he was surrounded by beautiful women, so he got really good at flirting because it wasn't the same as most guys.

    Maybe he just thinks this girl that you might think is average is actually gorgeous. Maybe they have a lot in common. Maybe he's got ugly duck syndrome, where he thought he couldn't get gorgeous women, so he likes to go for someone who he thinks is more his type or speed. Maybe he's dated gorgeous models in the past, and swore them off because some cheated, or were too high maintenance, or had huge issues, so he got tired of it. I don't know... there are a lot of different reasons why any guy might be interested in a woman many would consider average.

    Me, I'd probably go for gorgeous if they seemed to be interested, and interesting... but average girls or girls that were a little quirky might peak my interest more than someone who's a 10 out of 10. I grew up with a lot of those "model" types being cruel. Many secretly on drugs, or huge alcoholics... many now being barely able to construct a decent sentence because the drugs caught up to them. They could hide it pretty well in high school, but it often pickled their brains in college or soon after. I've learned to be cautious around the ones most guys consider gorgeous. I try not to judge right away, try to get to know them. But there is a little bit of that... suspicion or cautiousness around women who are really popular with all the guys, because I've met so many who just were nasty people underneath.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It’s better to get a yes from a 5 then a no from a 10.

    Was going to use celebrities instead of numbers but people’s opinions vary.

    Mostly I think it’s out of fear of being rejected or strung along, or the reacher in the relationship, so they think it’s better to date a less attractive woman where they’ll be the settler, and more secure in the relationship.

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    • It's opposite with us. He is chased by 10/10 girls.
      I don't like him in that way though.

    • Us? Can I have some context please?

    • Me and him.
      It's not like he is afraid of getting no from 10/10 girls, because he is very desired by them.
      However he knows he's not my type.

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What Guys Said 85

  • Does that actually happen in real life?

    The average girl must be doing something right. Maybe she is a good listener?

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  • Without knowing the particular circumstances, it might be because he's attracted to more than just superficial beauty. And attractiveness is subjective anyway, so the "average" girl might just be very beautiful in his eyes, especially if she has a great personality and character.

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  • It doesn't matter if the girl is the fairest and best of all, some of us guys tend to stick to the person we love and not regret it our journey of LIFE!! :)

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  • Because regardless how attractive a woman can be, that doesn't mean she isn't boring as hell. I've switched 10/10 to 7/10 because the 7/10 was exciting, was able to speak, had plans for the future, while the 10/10 was boring as hell. I prefer someone I can talk to, instead of watching a boring silent painting all night.

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  • Because average people tend to believe that they (10/10 people) might "realize" that they are just average.. Someday.
    And they dont want to take the risk.

    For me, no one is out of my league. Maybe Im out of others. Best way to live your life.. And the wisest.

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  • Well, there is the reason that you possess a quality that they don't.

    There is also the possibility that it's just that since you don't want him, that he wants you because of that.

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  • I despise the band and I despise that song and fuck you for making me use these lyrics that I can barely get myself to write but "you don't know you are beautiful, that what makes you beautiful". Again, F-you for making me use that. I felt physical pain and nausea writing those words. I need Kratos to balance this out.

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  • " Leagues " are limiting beliefs for a start , also very outwardly attractive women , can develop huge egos, arrogance and an " up myself " type personality , in addition to being plain dull personality wise , character is FAR more important than mere looks , these girls have been sucked up to ( mainly by males ) and they rely far too much on looks , rather than developing character , I would expect this is why.

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  • 10/10 in what way. If you are not interested in a person intellectually or socially then looks mean nothing not if looking for a relationship.

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  • There's a reason why many men don't have meaningful relationships with super beautiful girls. They are usually pretty bad girlfriends. When you have a cute girl who adores and respects you, your life will be much happier

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  • Hm... I was pursued by someone once that I just didn't like. I wouldn't say "out of my league", but i understand what you mean.

    Well... I just didn't like her back. It was more of a personality thing. I don't want a girlfriend that i can't bear. That didn't stop us from chatting and being friends though.

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  • Is this a question for guys or girls? Very few guys are lucky enough to have that happen. Few guys have the luxury of 'out of league' thinking. Thats the honest truth.

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  • I don't believe in that phrase "out of my league*. I've dated a wide variety of woman from very attractive to not so attractive and the question is are we a match? Not, is this person out of my league or too good for me. Why shoot yourself down like that.

    But if I find a really attractive girl pursuing me, i get flattered.

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  • The only people "out of my league" are the people who absolutely refuse to date me.

    There are plenty of people who I would consider more attractive than me who have come onto me. If I actually got out more then such instances would increase in frequency.

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  • Because looks aren't everything. Why do you think some guys have sex with some girls and never talk to them again.

    The cover up the book is just one thing. The pages in the book are much more interesting.

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  • That's happened with me. You like to be with model or 10by 10 girl but then a average girl would love you more, give more of attention and more importantly would always be more loyal

    I feel more happier with girl next door

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    • Um.. not true. It’s stereotypes like this that are the problem.

    • Show All
    • You don’t know all the women on the planet...

    • Thats something I have to agree with you... 😁😂

  • There is a fear that the ten girl would leave the guy down the line or is simply playing the guy for attention. It is very rare that a ten girl goes after a guy as they usually get pursued by guys on their level.

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  • as fuck up as it sounds a man that is a 10/10 as you say & is pursued by models is probably constantly performing & being someone he's not. if he's pursuing someone average he feels comfortable around them & can be himself.

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  • Well, i would rather date average looking girls than girls who are gorgeous. It could be that the average girl has a great personality
    and that's what usually happens with me.

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  • It depends on the man.

    If he's not a manwhore looking for another challenge, a different challenge.

    He'll be looking for a proper woman, honesty, sincerity etc.

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What Girls Said 27

  • Some high status men date lesser status woman cause they don't want to get cheated on or think the less attractive woman will love them more than the hot girls.

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  • Dunno, I've never been pursued by someone out of my league in terms of they were too good. I've only been pursued by guys who don't have shit going for them.

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  • I've never felt like someone was out of my league. I dont believe in that shallow thinking. The only people who feel like they're too good looking for someone are egotistical. If someone feels like theyre too ugly for someone they have low self-esteem.
    Its basing too much on looks. Obviously attraction needs to be there.
    Personality and connection is why they ditch "10/10". Looks dont keep someone for the long run. Its not enough.
    I never liked shallow guys. If looks mean 50% or more to the guy then i dont want him.
    Also what you might consider average other people won't. What you look like doesn't change the type of looks you're attracted too.
    For instance. My husband hates perfection. He occasionally talks shit on it. If I'm commenting on how beautiful I think a woman in the mall is, he'll look up and say not really. When Id ask him why he doesn't see her like I do he has said "because she's trying to photoshop her appearance with make up instead of embracing her natural beauty." So women that look beautiful because of contouring, fake eyelashes/hair extensions/etc, and needs their eyebrows on fleek are unattractive to him. But a lot of people consider perfection 10/10.

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  • Great question Ms Pocahontas!
    Here's what happened to me when I pursued someone that was out of my league...
    True Love! Is It Ever Attainable? ↗

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  • Happened to me once, I couldn't wrap my head around it. I met this 12/10 man at a club, he had literal models sticking to him wherever he went, and yet he approached me. It felt kinda like when the hot guy goes for the awkward quiet girl in all those cheesy teenage movies. It was really surreal, I couldn't understand what he saw in me. Anyway, we hooked up, I felt like a queen and it was awesome.

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  • This happened to me like 2 or 3 times before. I was insecure at first and wondered if i was a rebound or a filler or something. But they really liked me and were all like 9/10. It made me more confident as well. But distance tore us apart.

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  • 1. He probably thinks the "average" girl is one of those 10/10 models and finds her attractive.
    2. Scared of being rejected by those 10/10 looking girls and goes for the girls who look safe enough to approach cause he lacks confience, shy, or just plained scared.

    But um... I don't know, I don't get approached by men and I never been approached by an extremely good looking guy who would be labeled out of my league, So I don't know what I would think since it hasn't happened before.

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    • Also a lot of men have this belief that extremely attractive women must be stuck up, sure it's true but not always. Most of the time it's jus them jumping to conclusion and giving themselves and excuse to not approach her cause they are scared of being rejected.

  • I had this guy that was waaaay out of my league pursue me for 3years. The kinds guy i always thought i never could get. I felt so lucky and special but at times, i was more insecure then not. I always feared i would lose him and i did. Its been a year since and i still think of him. Not even the average guy would pursue me. Hardly any guy at that besides them wanting just sex. But makes me wonder if it was even real or just too good to be true... *sigh

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  • Never experienced that before and still don't believe in a thing such as ''out of my league''. There is no league actually it's just being attracted to someone who is different from you and that's very usual.

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  • there is a difference by the way someone you feel like you "should like" because of what society values vs. who your heart is authentically attracted to

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  • What do you mean by league anyways? Physical beauty is not the only factor that determines attraction. I know, in my case, that I will never be attracted to a guy who can't have a serious, deep and meaningful conversation with me. No matter how physically attractive he may be. Even if it was just a friendly relationship (non romantic), I prefer my friends to have a good character rather than a nice body.

    So this guy who chose the "average looking" girl is probably mature enough to realise that she can bring a much richer relationship. Rather than a girl who's top priority are her clothes and make up..

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  • Well if it was me it would be shocking and almost surreal but thinking and realizing that guys are just humans who fart and shit no matter the appearance, I know that they have feelings too and I would treat him like he's a real person, not like he's some big ass celebrity and won't be all shy and try to be perfect for him. just be real if you're experiencing that. He probably just realized that appearance doesn't matter much since he must've dated a lot of pretty girls. He's probably looking at your HEART, and THE ACTUAL YOU, not just what you look like.

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  • If I am not attracted, I find them clingy if they keep pursuing me even after I have said no

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    • I am attracted to him physically but nothing more. He's not my type. It is just that he makes me feel intrigued.

  • I would be afraid it was a prank or some bet. But I would be happy if I like him

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  • Maybe because they're PERSONALITIES aren't similar to his.

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  • I would think they were either playing a trick on me or some ulterior motive.

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  • Hey, I would love it! Don't let him slip away. If he`s interested in you take it as a compliment!

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  • I was never pursued by anyone who I thought was too hot to function. So I can't relate.

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  • And why would a woman who is pursued by models and 10/10 guys ditch them and pursue an average guy instead?
    Does that actually happen in real life? I doubt most people at the top are interested enough to pursue people who are below their league.
    If it were to happen to me, I'd be surprised at first but I would pursue him back if I'm attracted to him as well. I wouldn't expect him to settle for me. I wouldn't expect much so I won't get disappointed in the end and I could have more fun instead. It's just an opportunity and I will take the opportunity cause I'm an opportunist like any other normal human being.

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    • I don't know about women but for men, of course it happens every day in real life!!

      Plenty of male reasons why.

      And no, not everyone is that greedy, selfish or opportunistic in humans.

      We're not all animals.

  • In his head, he must think she's beautiful.

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