When going for a first kiss with someone new, should you just go for it or go 90% of the way and wait for it?

And when would you expect the first kiss, first/second/third/etc date?

When going for a first kiss with someone new, should you just go for it or go 90% of the way and wait for it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can normally feel it when someone wants you to kiss them.
    But things to pay attention to is
    If during the date she looks at you a lot, like she can't take her eyes off you.
    She touches you a lot. (Your hand/arm. Walks every close to you, to were y'all brush up against each other. If she's touching your leg in a flirty way or anything similar, she wants more than a kiss or is thinking about more than a kiss at least. lol)
    The things you talk about during the date. How personal does she get with you.
    Have you ever felt the mutual attraction? A "moment". That's when you know a kiss would be good. Start out as a sweet kiss and judge by her reaction if she wants the kiss to be deeper. First kiss there isn't a rule for most women. First, Second, Third, it doesn't really matter, it depends on chemistry. Sometimes it takes a few dates to really feel it and sometimes it's right way.
    You could go in 90% it won't hurt. If she wants to kiss you she will.
    Normally after a date the guy would look at my lips and up to my eyes, almost like asking for permission to kiss me. It was very obvious. I'd step closer into him and he'd go the rest of the way.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Lean in 90% of the way and hold. Let the tension build for a moment. Then one of three things will happen:
    1) She'll object and then you STOP
    2) She'll go the last 10% and kiss you
    3) She won't do anything in which case you then proceed to kiss her.

    You're making your intentions known, but she has the opportunity to object and you're not "Asking permission" like a male feminist cuck which only ruins the mood.

    Also some women just don't kiss on the first date, so don't take it personally.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 39

  • I just go for it 😊

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    • Haha, that one I could have guessed :D

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    • Yeah I usually only would do it if I can tell they’re not going to reject me lol, or yes I agree that is never a nice feeling and makes things Awkward 😊

    • When I was younger I couldn't do it even, if it was smack in the face obvious she's interested..

  • When you are tenderly together and talking lovely kiss just happens, sometimes without words just by heart ❤
    Umm though... I think I would look at him sensually for tease waiting for his kiss if he was a new date 😚
    With my boyfriend I just kiss him with puppy eyes because I want it and he's teasing me already >w<

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  • There's this guy I thought was my friend. We were hanging out alone, by the water, and suddenly he kissed me. I thought we were friends.
    We've been together ever since that day, two year ago of today.

    I'd say go for it. Just go slow so that they see it coming but dont stop. If you're unsure than they will be unsure, and it will create discomfort. So just do it. Worst case, you dont end up together, but you still stole a kiss from them ;)

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    • I wish I could do this in my part of the world

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    • @gps181
      Culture, religion and law do the same thing in general, that is: regulate the behaviour of people. If you live in a culture where it is not ok to kiss in public, than maybe kissing is associated with some kind of misbehaviour. Misbehaviour comes usually from bad intentions.
      I do not encourage harassment at all. If someone is trying, and persisting on kissing a random stranger on the street, of course the victim of that harassment has all rights to denounce this behaviour.
      Places where kissing in public is accepted got to be like this because the majority of people in those communities behave out of good intentions when it comes to kissing.

      I know nothing of the place you live in. I think it would be a good exercise for you to analyse WHY? HOW? WHEN? did kissing become some kind of trespassing in this place.

      And when you answer that, know that there is nothing you can do to change things other than give the righteous example.

  • When it feels right is when you go. The girl will hesitate to leave after the date or look at your lips and in your eyes often. Go in for the kiss and pause. Close to her face. Then kiss her if she stays and doesn't pull away. If she does pull away don’t jump to conclusions. She may just be nervous

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  • I'd say go for it 90% of the way, wait, if she doesn't run away, you can go the other 10% (if she hasn't done it herself already).

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  • i prefer it, yes,. go almost all in then stop bc I've been accidentally 'attacked' just bc the guy thought i anted to kiss & went all in with no warning.

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  • Just go for it. If the first date went well, a kiss is appropriate.

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  • I mean do it when it feels right

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  • I like when guy kiss first 100% if she’s looking at your lips face a lot your close and it’s been obvious she likes you she’s probably been waiting a while kiss her!!! If she pulls away nervous laugh and just say I’m sorry

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    • I've had too many situations where I read things the wrong way to want to take a chance. I usually just directly ask her if I can kiss her.

  • Haha, go all the way! That'll impress them. I'd say not the first date, but by the second date is usually when I kiss him.

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  • It depends on the situation. There’s times where I’ve waited a while for a guy to make a move, so when I think it’s going to happen, I want him to just go for it. If I’m definitely into him and we’ve been working up to it, but not for as long as the first scenario, then 90%. If we haven’t known each other for very long, then 60%, because if I’m not into it, it gives me a chance to get out of the situation.

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  • Go 90% of the way and wait

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  • Go for it.

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  • @hasrett posted a video which makes me say go 90%. With some girls, though, you’re gonna have to go 100%. They will just stare at you.

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  • It all depends on both parties. I would go for the big one!! 😉Lol.😁 but if the other person didn't want to, then I'll respect that, may be the relationship isn't as strong yet for a physical touch can be reached out. My views only.

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  • If your not sure don't.. you'll know when the moment is right don't worry :)

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  • 90% would be better so that it can be mutual but it could also be awkward without the right mood

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  • I think you have to sort of be in the moment. I can't answer either way.

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  • Just go for it.

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  • go for it

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  • Go for it!

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  • The last 3 guys I dated, I kissed before the end of first date. Prior to those I waited a bit more.

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  • When it feels right that's when you go in for the kiss.

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  • Go for it!

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  • Go for it

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  • If it feels right from both ends go for it. Current guy asked me fora a kiss first on first date. I can still remember it and feel it over a year later.

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  • Personally I prefer the 60-40 rule for the first time because it’s easier to come out of and it also makes it a lot more obvious to you if they like you and want to kiss you because they have to come almost as close as you’re going to them!

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  • Try to figure out your partner's mood.

    If they are in to the kiss as you are go for it.
    Try to drop some hints about a kiss, and gauge their reaction.

    Go according to it.

    And please use Listerine.
    😁😁😁

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  • Like most have said if it feels natural and right then go for it 😊

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What Guys Said 74

  • Don't go into a date with expectations of what's going to happen that date. The best laid plans of mice and men. You'll just set yourself up for failure if you try to aim for something that's supposed to feel intimate in the moment. Dates aren't formulaic. Just kiss her if it feels right, provided you know she'll be okay with it. If it goes wrong, just say you're sorry and thought it was the right moment. Body language is everything.

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  • The first kiss is often awkward to build up to. The girl is usually nervous about it, and the guy doesn't want to strike out.

    This is one way that I have used many times when the girl is particularly nervous. I take her hand, say, "Stand up." Then she is standing up, we are looking into each others eyes. Then I say, "Close your eyes". She immediately knows what is coming next and she is like, ok, I'm ready for it. Then I put my hand under her chin and kiss her. After that, it is anything goes.

    This occurs the first time we are alone, which could be while standing next to the car at the end of the first date (without the needing to stand up part first). It could be when we are in my hotel room on the first date.

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  • I say more like 95% of the way there. So your so close that your almost touching. She will either run or if she has not kissed you by then. She will think for a few seconds and then go for it.

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  • I don't think the distance is relevant, at least in my experience.

    Usually I just look into their eyes and smile and if they go "ew gross" with their eyes then yah they don't want a big ol' smooch.

    If she smiles back and start moving in then you're golden.

    I aim to have the smooch on the first date but it's not important if it's not.

    One exception was after a jazz club and she was really into it. Looked at each other and both went for it.

    But yeah, make sure the date went well first.

    TL;DR, it's easy to tell if she wants the smooch

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  • It can go either way. Just feel it. Also be sure that you're ready. The second (actually third but long story) girl I kissed, I had wanted to kiss for a few weeks. But then she told me she was at the hospital because someone she knew OD'd. Bad timing, but I kissed her while she was outside, waiting for news. She was in too much shock I think then. But she let me kiss her the next day, so I definitely got lucky there (she was also wanting to kiss me).

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  • you actually should go 90% of the way. Have it so your nose is slightly touching hers. Let the other person go the rest of the way. If she doesn't seen interested, act like you're playing with her or just received a text and continue the conversation topic casually like nothing happened. If she wants to kiss, she would usually put her hands on your chest or around your neck. Usually the first kiss comes on the 7th to 15th date, or you both feel in a deep romance. Don't wait too long or she will think that she's just your trophie or fell like a close friendship. She might even eventually lose interest.

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  • In the past I've always just went slowly through the first part to see if there's any obvious signs she wasn't into it and it gives a chance for either of us to bail, before just kissing her and that's worked fine so far.

    Recently, I've been thinking that asking to kiss someone is actually romantic so I was thinking of doing a go 60-70% of the way then pause and ask kind of thing. Reading the other opinions written here, I'm starting to have second thoughts about that, lol.

    I think the first kiss should happen at the end of first date if it goes really well and by the second date for sure. I also don't think it's obvious when a first kiss should happen if you're the one initiating. There are just moments when it's typical expected or when there is a good opportunity and tons of ways to repeatedly communicate non-verbally. Non-verbal communication doesn't always work though.

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  • Well, the last time I was on a first date I hesitated on the same question. Then when I looked for a cab for her, I looked to the left and right, then ooops, she kissed me... for five long minutes. It was awesome. So when you're meditating on a question like this, also calculate the possibility that you won't have any control over this action at all. Just a hint about this wonderful possibility. :)

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  • You make it sound like a virgin from the 90's on a cheesy episode.
    You just check her with some (physical) respectful gestures, and if she doesn't show any slight rejection, you're getting closer and closer (lets say by kissing her cheeks first.. Or whatever you feel like)
    Till you reach the lips.

    And kisses are like genitalias. There is no perfect formula of getting it.
    Could be 10th date, could be first.
    Depends on the chemistry and the personality of your partner.
    Sometimes there's even no date. Just better not doing it at all.

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  • I recommend going 90% of the way, and then letting her decide to do the last 10%. As a guy it can be too easy to get into some sexual weirdness with women these days. If you show her that you want to get close, she can make up her mind about whether or not she wants to kiss you. This way, it's her idea.

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  • You go 90 percent, this way, you can tell if she wants the kiss or not, if she pulls away or starts talking, you know either she's not interested or it's not the right time. you have to get into an intimate situation like at a park bench in a nice area, or at a gazebo or something, build enough sexual tension and rapport and then look into her eyes deeply, look at her lips and lean in, if she leans in too and starts closing her eyes and tilting head or something, that's golden that you go for it, never ask a girl if she wants to kiss, even if she does, she'll say no because you ruined the moment

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  • 99% and it depends on the person and how good the date went.

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  • If she look at you in the eyes, then she look at your mouth and she look at you in the eyes again. That means she's ready for a kiss.

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  • Depends on her, if she is shy go for it, if she has big self-esteem go 95 and wait... first kiss at the end of the 3rd date, just to be a gentleman

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  • If we are talking about adults here then yeah by the first date otherwise you lose the one you like or out your league being slow.
    Other then that go 2nd or 3rd if sus out fridgit or baggage etc doesn't matter.
    Sure people will defunc what I say but that's my experience so be confident not cocky. Create the right mood 1st time round and its the guys role to make the lead then there's your 90% 1st day kiss. Of course 10% ones with baggage.

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    • Haha just realized talking about strike rate kisses on first dates. If your talking about leaning in slow or the sudden jab to her mouth same thing applys.

  • I go for it, but i think you need to kind of telegraph it. If she takes it great, but you might want her to have time to take it or turn away.

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  • Well go 90% and wait so that u get to know that the other person wants it too

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  • It really depends on her interest during the date. During my first date with my current girlfriend, we were sort of cuddling on the couch, and it was clear that she was really into me, and the date was going very well so I came up with a goofy pun involving kissing, and then I kissed her. It was amazing. I'd say read up on body language and signs of interest, and you should know when the time is right. If there doesn't seem to be a right time, then she's not ready

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  • I'll just kiss her. No big deal.

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  • I'd wait

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  • I'd say go 90% and wait for it, as for the second part of your question I'd say it depends on how much you're comfortable with your partner

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  • You got to wait foir the right time. And I don't mean sit and wait fo r it. It will just feel right. When you see her get into her space and see how she likes it

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  • Real life is not the same as in Hitch. Trust your guts. If you feel like the girl/boy liked you, just go all-in. Don't rush it or get over-excited and headbutt that other person, just go at a normal pace. In the worst case scenario, she/he might avoid you, in which case, its either shyness or you just didn't click. Just don't stop midway and wait for the other person to cover the distance, that's stupid.

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  • I mean that's really finesse, I'd just go 100%. If drinks are involved first date, if no drinks depends on the vibes it's play by play.

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  • Just do if it doesn't work (see image)

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  • First time I heard this was from the movie Hitch, decent movie. I like the thought behind it.

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  • Go 50% don't want and sexual harassment charges in the future. If they like you they'll go the other 50% not taking chances. Not going to jail for no one

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  • Go for it if the other person's a bit shy, otherwise go 90%

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  • Watch out she might scream rape. Ask first.

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  • Wait for the moment then go in

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