Would you go out with someone again if they cried on your first date?


Sad movies, unexpected car accidents, you bringing up their mother whom you didn't realize had just died, aside, if your date was crying on your very first date, would you be inclined to see him or her again or would you be thinking, "this" is too much for me.


Would you go out with someone again if they cried on your first date?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Aw I'd feel bad. But if I liked her, and the reason seems legit and its not some weird emotional freakout over nothing, like if im assured she's emotionally stable, then yeah sure.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Context is everything here.
    Crying over something can be just as much of a sign of an underlying psychological issue as NOT crying over something. It really depends on that something.

    For example, if they had just received some devastating news, were in the process of sharing some heart-wrenching story with me, or we'd just witnessed the death of a cute puppy, crying would be totally acceptable. In fact, it might be more of a cause for concern if their affect was totally flat in that scenario.

    If they just burst out sobbing for no apparent reason or for a reason that would not warrant such an emotional response in a healthy individual, I would be concerned. Inappropriate affect is a symptom of lots of mental disorders, some of which I would be understanding and tolerant of, but others (e. g., histrionic personality disorder), I would not be able deal with.

    Needless to say, if they were putting on crocodile tears, for whatever reason, that would make me disinclined to see them again.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Generally not. However, motive matters. If she just learned that day that her brother had terminal cancer or something, a tear would make sense and I would even find it modestly attractive - a degree of warmth and humanity.

    Also, the type of crying matters. A tear, or maybe eyes welling up. That's one thing. Sobbing, on the other hand, tends to be over the top.

    So it ends up being contextual, but I would say the default position is "No."

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  • The crying aspect would never put me off. I can deal with that. What they're crying about might change my mind. If the crying made them just seem like a brat for not getting their way, or if I could tell it was the manipulative crying theeen... yeah that'd be a no go.

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  • Yes, but anyway, to be realistic.

    It is rare that someone who suffered a vital loss (like his/her mother died) would be in the mood to date anyone.

    Crying watching a movie is not a crime, but on a first date it is only allowed for women according to the International Agreement on How Men Should Behave in a First Date (IAHMSBFD) and against the policy of the Treaty on How a Man Should Not Cry During Bambi (THMSNCDB).

    All in all, crying is good. I clears your spirit and shows your vulnerabilities, which makes us human. We'd rather date a human being than a psychopath. Just make sure the reason for his/her pain is genuine and not some made up shit.

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    • I've never lost a parent, but I have friends who have had both or one who have passed, and "just died" for them could be 3 months ago or a year ago. The pain can often be very real whenever that button is pushed, and I'd never fault anyone for dropping a few years, even if it was 10 years later in that regard.

      Now, have you ever cried on a first date? Have you ever had a date cry on the first date outside of like a sad movie? Are you or they a psychopath? I definitely want to date human beings that have actual emotions, but day one? Crying is good, but you also need to know when to keep it together... like on a first date... when you're trying to make a decent impression. Weeping into the soup is not exactly a good first impression. It would be the same thing like weeping during a job interview for a corporate job. Time... and place.

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    • It takes a lot for me to cry, but I cry unlike other men who get aggressive.

      On a first date? No way. If there were external factors that would make me cry upon a first date, I would not date in the first place (therefore, my previous point).

      I'm very sensitive and not afraid of showing my tears (as a man I am) during a relationship if things call for it (but the variables involved have to be punitive and cruel to my feelings, like a cheating SO with no remorse). First dates are thought intended to be pleasurable events of exploration and seduction.

      A person (a girl in this case) crying in a first date out of nowhere logical (like a sudden loss) would scare the shit out of me, as a lot of people carry traumas that affect them psychologically through life and these can and could become persistent over a relationship without you having any control over them.

    • Yes, basically. It's a first date! If you're weeping into the soup, things are NOT going well and are definitely NOT going to get better. This is why I'm over here scratching my head like who are all these people who are just saying yes point blank, rather than at least, an "it depends," especially since most have never had anyone cry on a first date... because that's weird within the context, and not something that tends to leave a date going, that's the man or woman for me. And even sometimes with good reason for the tears, you don't want to have to be the one to take on someone's life problems day one. You can always be their friend, but day one, week one, month one, things are usually supposed to be light and care free.

  • If they cried when they saw my face and realised it wasn't like my profile pic, then probably not. But otherwise yes.

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  • Don't women cry all the time and it's meant to be perfectly fine? And guys just accept it

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    • Some women cry all the time. And we're not talking about 6 months into your relationship... I'm talking about date one. You don't know this person, you're meeting them for the first time. Aren't dates supposed to be happy, fun, or at least awkward, but crying on a first date outside of like the examples I listed... is weird... well, to me anyway.

    • Well no, Disneyland dates are supposed to be very happy - but this is stuff sold to Disney princesses (which, granted, most women believe they are).

    • What?

  • Totally depends why

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    • Finally---a sane answer. As I said in my example, if someone is crying at a sad movie, no problem, but if they are crying because they like miss their ex, or they are devastatingly emotional about everything, or they are dealing with something personal that you aren't a professional psychologist enough to deal with at present yourself, I don't think a second date should be a thing.

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    • Wow. I'm going to screen shot that. It never happens.

    • Lol you exaggerate girl. Of course, If he cries because he killed all of his family and noe the police is after him - don't go on a second date. But as you see, this is an exaggerated situation, just a bit more than your examples here. If he cried+there's a reason not to date him, don't date him. Those are the cases you describe.

  • I would probably give it another shot. Depends on the reason. If i ordered a hamburger and she cried, I'd ask for my food to be wrapped up to go, and I'd leave on the spot.

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    • I'm guessing, she's probably a hardcore Vegan, and you've just shown that you enjoy the slaughter of innocent animals, LOL

    • Exactly! Life isn't meant to be one dimensional. We can all interact together while having different beliefs. Why should I eat a vegan meal in front of her if I'm not a vegan? And vice versa.

  • Uh uhhh ,,, no no no, if there is one thing i have learnt through life it is read the freekin warning signs!! And that is one of them)

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  • Depends on the context, but it can be kind of a red flag if they seem "unstable".

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  • It can teach you about their heart and integrity. Someone like this cares about people.

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    • Why do you assume that? Tears do not mean someone cares about someone. People can cry when their angry and upset at someone or something or they could be crying because they are obsessive about a person, all kinds of other reasons for tears.

    • But what I mean is that they have integrity. They get sad when others are hurt, die, or are cheated on. This gives them some credibility according to faithfulness to you. It means they have some belief in right and wrong. Meaning that cheating on you might be wrong to them.

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What Girls Said 14

  • In most cases, probably not. I'm very emotionally controlled and prefer those types. There would be exceptions, like if someone JUST died (but if they did, why tf are you trying to date? worry about your personal stuff first) or if they found out someone died while we were actually on the date.

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  • Depends on why they are crying, but sure.
    A sad movie or recent tragedy, understandable. It shows their sensitive side and as long as the rest of the date went well, I would go on a second date.
    A seemingly random outburst or crying over an ex, I probably wouldn't consider another date.

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  • If any of the things you mentioned happened and he cried then I'd be thanking my lucky stars that he isn't some macho/he man. It's reassuring that he's able to feel so deeply, especially if his mom died, we got into a car accident, we say a heartbreaking movie. I wouldn't hold it against him, but I'd try to move past it.

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  • I guess so, but i guess it depends why though. Like he cried cause he saw his ex with a new guy on our date, then no I wouldn't go out with him again. If he cried cause he saw a good movie then sure.

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  • It depends on the situation. If he’s crying about his ex, there’s probably not going to be a second date.

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  • It depends on why they were crying. If it was valid yes I’d go out again. If it was for a stupid reason no I wouldn’t.

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  • If it was for a sane reason then yes. But if he starts crying over like losing a car then I'm out.

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  • Depends on the rest of the date of course if it's just seems weird then maybe not but crying isn't a big deal by itself

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  • Probably not. But it depends on the situation. I am attracted to a strong personality but I could understand if it was about something serious.

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  • It's interesting that 25% of women voted no, and only 8% of guys voted no.

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