How to stop feeling insecure about a bf’s sexual past?

I know the past is the past. But, i know who some of his exes are, and the images just haunt me :/ it sucks that he also keeps in contact with his exes (sparingly, but he still follows them on social media, likes their posts, etc). I deleted my social media accounts so i can work on getting over my insecurity. But, it sucks. I hate being insecure about it. I try to keep these thoughts to myself because i know he can’t change the past.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • there are a few problems with this scenario but ill start off with the ones that mostly effect you.
    1. you need to trust in yourself. by this you need to trust that you made the correct decision in dating who you are dating.
    2. be honest to yourself about how you feel about him and how much grief the knowledge of his past gives you. you also need to decide if your comfortable dating him now that you are aware of this.
    3. GET OVER IT. everyone has sex, everyone does things to someone and receives from someone. as long as he and you are in good health try not to think about it. this doesn't mean suppressing your feelings. get your social media game back on!
    4. he needs to drop contact with his exes. that is just a recipe for disaster. ask yourself this: why in the world would someone want to contact or be friendly with their past LOVER.
    5. live your life. why in the world are you tripping this hard? is he trippin? obviously not because his ass is still talking to those girls. id recommend you tell him to drop all contact. he should have had sense to do that anyway but he didn't so oh well. just remember to enjoy your life and everything you do. try to relax and have fun. also remember you can't control everyone and trust and common sense go a long way.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Who's he with?
    Oh that's right it's you 😊❤
    Not them.
    You could how ever tell him how you feel.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Be true with him. It's part of the boyfriend role to help you feel secure with him. It can be a low self confidence or it can also be that you are felling ignored by him...

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  • He shouldn't be liking ex's photos ever

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  • You both have a past. If your to insecure about yourself then you'll never get past it.

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  • Just realize that all of his past relationships ended for a reason and they are over. Also realize that all of his past experiences led him to finding you and they made him into the man that you fell in love with.

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  • That's why you don't date a player or a game...
    And people were bashing me when I mentioned before I don't want a high mileage girlfriend...

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  • Talk to him about it , communication is the key

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  • Trust level to be strong! If can't get out of it let youself give him a chance to prove it?

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  • How bout you focus on something else and make your partner second. You'll have less time worrying and you're bettering yourself. It's a win win even if the relationship doesn't work out

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    • Aren’t partners supposed to be your first priority? Or one of them? Hmmm, yes. I have a lot of things going on in my life (I’m studying at college, have a job, and I’m part of various clubs). Maybe i should focus on those things more..

    • I'll take as many dislikes as possible lol. First off yeah your relationships are important but a key aspect in it is communication. You need to voice your concern and if he doesn't understand that then he doesn't understand your boundaries in the relationship. Second, be ambitious, not all relationships are happy endings but when you are committed to something greater, to something you can share with your partner later in life. It doesn't matter if this one doesn't work out because later on you'll find someone who'll truly understand your aspirations and abundant future. Who'll gladly give you the respect you desire and who knows you'll give it back.

      Sooo put your back in it, take a deep breath and take control of your life. You've got this, I know you do!

  • Seems like you are overly insecure and you need to get over that or you will never have a healthy relationship. If you're not seeing a therapist, it would probably be a good idea to communicate these thoughts with a professional and take a cold hard look at yourself in the mirror. Jealousy and manipulation will not lead to anything fruitful.

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  • Focus on the man not his past, each girl is special on its own way, blow his mind that he ll talk about u morning and night

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  • Cheat on him, make it even 😈 lol actually don’t. Talk to him about it, if not just brake up with him.

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  • This is the most immature thing I've ever read. Wow.

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    • How immature can it be, if I’m self-reflecting and asking for help? Hmmm... i have self-awareness, but maybe not ALL the knowledge needed to get past it. Lmao, silly.

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    • How do exes have no impact? Especially when they are still in your partner’s life?

    • You already have the answer. You are exclusive with him. They have since broken up. I will tell you this, you keep exhibiting behavior like this and you will lose him. Don't be a beta female. Guys like a confident woman.

  • I've never been in a relationship but I know I'd be affected by this as well, it's like jealousy, you hate feeling it but you can't control it and you feel horrible as a result

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  • What exactly are you insecure about. What's the problem

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    • I’m insecure about him still keeping contact with some exes. I’m not sure why it bothers me, but it does, to know he still talks to them sometimes and wants to maintain friendships with them. I also am insecure that maybe they are prettier than me :/

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    • Some of them are prettier than me :/ some are skinnier than me (I’m more on thicker side, not fat. But, i have more meat then they did). My boyfriend liked them for a reason, I’m not sure what those reasons were. But, if he liked them once, he can like them again :(

    • Yeah, that's entirely possible.

  • you can't i guess

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  • It's somthing you gotta understand that he is with you not them 4 a reason

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    • Yes, but it still hurts because he still had connections with them via social media :/ so he still sees photos of them and i feel he maybe thinks about them sexually :(

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    • I don’t know. He can’t be with his ex because of distance. She lives a few states away :/ so if that’s the only reason, and she got a new boyfriend. it doesn’t really make me feel good -_-

    • That's you being picky about why he is with you if you see it that way you shouldn't be with him as you are calling I to question his love for you

  • Stop thinking about it :P

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  • Be hotter then them

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  • learn to love unconditional and accept them as they are

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  • Talk with him. You would definitely find a solution

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  • You can break up with him anytime. Maybe if it s a real problem for you you should do.

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  • U r his next target of becoming his ex. Good luck.

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  • This isn’t why I can’t do relationships. I’m happy when I focus on myself. The things I can control.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I guess I understand your insecurities, especially bc of all of these social media nowadays, it makes it so much easier to cheat. I feel that you need to talk to him and set the boundaries, then try to trust him. Focus more on yourself instead of thinking about what he is doing, who is he talking to on social media, etc. If he ever lies to you or does something that is cross the borderline, thats the time to think about what to do later. I guess.

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