“Love yourself before someone else can love you” is such an outdated and untrue phrase?

I personally hate myself and will only ever love myself if a guy ever falls in love with me. The phrase is saying that I and others like myself will never be able to be happy or find love. That’s real assuring.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have to completely agree with you. Some people... Okay all people will do much more for others than they will do for themselves and even will cause themselves distress to appease and help someone else. Now who does this to themselves, Come on now? That saying is only an excuse for somebody to say to someone who is in love with them and they don't feel the same way. It's an excuse to continue the relationship yet be able to say I don't love you though because I don't even love myself and I have to learn to love myself before I can love others. Jesus love the way that human mind and make excuses to it's self and get away with it. There's no reason to not love yourself there's no reason and not love. The only reason people use excuses because they are too fucking lazy to make the effort and find out the solutions to the problems or too fucking

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    • Sorry I hit the wrong button. Or you sucking lazy to begin the road to responsibility and success at it. If you hate yourself it's only because you're too damn scared to succeed or too damn frightened to let someone love you. You are stuck in a comfort zone that allows you to survive without too much stress yeah and everyday you know what you need to do but you will not do it unless you are forced to. When do people make that big change in your life it's when they actually do hit rock bottom because there's nowhere else to go but up. Quit feeling sorry for yourself a lot of people love you love other people I could give a flying fuck about myself honestly but I do care about making sure I'm there for others so they don't fuk up. Tough love you got to like it

    • I am stressed all the time

Most Helpful Girl

  • And what if a guy never does fall in l or with you? Are you willing to settle with self-hate? It's a choice

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What Guys Said 20

  • I always thought it was bullshit as I have never even liked myself and the only thing that makes me feel better is when someone pays attention to me/likes me. However after endless long term relationships that never last because of me... I am actually starting to believe it. Thinking of trying to be alone soon and I'll let you know

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    • I only feel good when people pay attention to me too

    • I have just got to the point where after a while In a relationship I need attention from someone new. Which is not something you can do in a healthy relationship. Forever alone I think

  • It a really awesome quote... U should learn to love urself no Matter what... Loving yourself is the best thing to do... If you don't love yourself how can u expect anyone else to love u... And if u don't love yourself than in almost all cases the guys will need u to change some things about u that is the best thing about u and u will change it coz u don't love urself... U will have a low self esteem and the guy may use you or take u for granted... Loving yourself is the best thing u can do...

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    • I have no desire to love myself right now with how horrible I am. I’m pathetic

    • See i feel there's no compulsion in loving yourself... I feel everybody loves themselves in one way or another... I can bet on it...

  • This phrase is actually very true. If you're not in tune with who you are, there must be some character traits of yours that you subconsciously want to get rid of. And if you ever find some guy who LOVES those traits you find annoying, the more you'll be succeeding in eliminating them, the more you'll be robbing your parnter of this reason to love you.

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  • The saying is absolutely critical. If you don't love yourself, then you are insecure and that will show in how you relate to others. That means, you won't be treated the same as if you were confident and self-assured. Being confident makes you far more aluring and desirable. The best way to work on that is trying to get others to smile. Do nice things for them or make them laugh. That will build confidence and take you in the right direction.

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  • No that's wrong way to approach it
    You can't depend on a person loving you
    There will be people hating you what will you do then?
    Accept yourself first
    Depending on others can be very problematic

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  • Just because someone else loves you doesn't automatically make you love yourself, you are more likely to not believe they find you attractive and drive them away with your insecurity which is why the saying exists.

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    • I would never try to drive someone away. Even if I don’t believe them I’d keep it to myself.

  • same boat here
    never had a relationship
    im an awkward guy until i open up
    im single af
    no signs il ever find anyone
    (100%) probably noone finds me attractive

    i hate myself
    i hate people

    and i never felt true love
    im dying

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    • With a outlook like that how do you expect someone to love You?

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    • i will send a message now so i dont lose you

    • 👌🏽

  • I disagree with that statement completely. I seriously don't lime myself. My girlfriend definitely doesn't like herself all that much either. But me and my girlfriend have been happily together for 8 months now. I always put her first and do everything i can to make her happy because I love her and she does the same for me. No being with her doesn't make me like myself any more or less, but having someone that does care about me as much as she does definitely makes things a lot better and more positive in my life.

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  • I know I've been repulsive with such negativity about myself and it has been perceived in a differet way: in an attractive way. Sometimes it's weird what's happening.

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  • Actually, it is saying that it shows in your life. Your eyes will glow. Your walk will reflect it. Your attitude. Your attention to personal grooming habits. (Trust me on this one)

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  • Do you really hate everything about yourself? Because my burning self hate is only there for parts of me I'm not okay with. Things I like to change but never seem to have time for.

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  • No it's not it because you feel like this that you have not found someone how can someone love you if you don't love yourself or see your self value how can they

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    • But how would someone know if I loved myself or not if they didn’t know me

    • The way you carry yourself and once they get to know you that type of feeling will scare people off

  • The phrase is meant to look for validation in yourself not from someone else. Even if you don't like yourself right now, one day you could. You can always improve yourself.

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    • I need the validation from others. My opinions don’t matter

  • I believe its the truth how can you love someone if yiu ultimately can't understand yourself and appreciate your self (self worth)

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    • A relationship is about loving the other person, not yourself. I don’t need to appreciate myself if he’s doing the appreciation for me.

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    • I’m completely healthy. I haven’t been to a doctor’s office or hospital since I turned 18, (I’m 21). Sure I’m scared of hospitals and needles but I take care of myself so I don’t need any doctors. And I’m sure a guy would like it when I worship him and idolize him, that’s what love is

    • Huh? I never said you werent healthy and you should at least go for check ups.

  • What do u mean dat its outdated. Its d ultimate truth. 'honesty is the best policy' is an ancient phrase, dat doesn't mean u will practice dishonesty cos d phrase is outdated.

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  • Totally true. I can't like a girl who doesn't like herself. It's very unattractive. Bottom line

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  • Well it's a bit true. People want happiness in their life. Most people (including me) would prefer a person who smiles and shares happiness instead of someone who is just sad cause that makes others sad too and nobody want to be sad. Sure you can find someone who loves you even when you don't love yourself but imagine if that makes you confident and you start loving yourself it would make you a other person and maybe that's a person you lover can't deal with. Also why can't you love yourself first?

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  • I feel the exact same way.

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  • Yeah

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  • true

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's true.

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